Someday, we’ll forget the hurt, the reason we cried and who caused us pain. We will finally realize that the secret of being free is not revenge, but letting things unfold in their own way and own time. After all, what matters is not the first, but the last chapter of our life which shows how well we ran the race. So smile, laugh, forgive, believe and love all over again. — Unknown
Lately I feel like everything has been one obstacle after the next, after taking a two week (unexpected hiatus due to emergency surgery) hiatus from Weight Watchers I was finally feel good enough to attend a meeting this past Sunday (and by the time I got home I was so tried I didn’t dare turn on my computer and write about it… which is why you’re getting this on Tuesday).
I’m glad to be back, I’m telling you being in the hospital is the pits, but you know what was worst, you think “my body has been through all sorts of hell and trauma surely I’ve lost a few pounds (yes I actually thought that)” imagine my surprise when every single day I was weighed (apparently they do that when you’re in ICU) and my weight was creeping up and up. By the end of my hospital stay I was 10 pounds heavier. So not only was I annoyed at my body, I was annoyed by everything.. And because I was healing, I told myself that I needed to focus on my and getting back to normal, so I passively followed Weight Watchers, I tracked…up to a point. I ate whatever I wanted, in any quantity I wanted. People have a tendency to bring you thinks when you are convalescing…. things like cupcakes, and candy, fruit…. whatever people brought me I ate it…. I’m not sad about that .. I enjoyed it… but I knew that I was gonna have to back to reality started to scare me and I knew I had gained a lot of weight while in the hospital (my mother insisted that it was all the IV fluid and blood I had received while I was there). And Sunday rolled around I was not able to go to a meeting but my Weight Watchers App kept wanting me to update my weight…. so I did .. and I nearly cried.
By week 2 I had slowly started to lose some of the weight … and was up by 6 pounds. I felt good about that.. at least it was coming off. even though it was slow. I started to feel frustrated about not being able to workout for the foreseeable future (due to the fact that my surgical would was left open (*sigh* seriously it’s the winter time and I’m walking around with a gaping abdominal would. WHAT THE FUCK!) and how that will possible effect my weight loss. Any other time I would be gripping about not being able to go to the gym, now that I can’t physically go that’s all I want to do.
So on Sunday I go to my Weight Watchers meeting…determined to get back on track, determined to continue on my journey despite this setback I had it in my mind to be prepared for my weight to be up, so I got one the scale and was waiting for Darlene to tell me that I was up at least 6 pounds. But she said, “Tyra, you lost this week, Good Job” What the hell is happening, and I living in Bizzaro World??
This week’s topic was, “Who’s Got Your Back?” Who is your support system. I have found from my own personal experience that when you tell people that you are losing weight, or doing Weight Watchers people are generally supportive of your journey. In the beginning I identified my mother my as one of my biggest challenges, she’s was a “food pusher” but some how through this process she has become one of my biggest supporters, she’s always asking me “Do you have enough points for this?” And I think some of the changes that I have made have spilled over to her, she’s making small but positive steps to improve her health.
After the meeting I stayed and got what our leader calls “a shot in the arm” which is really the orientation that they give to new members, I just felt like I needed it this week. But I guess it’s like riding a bike, you don’t really forget.
This week I want to work on identifying my current challenges, work out a solution and then devise a fix.
Several weeks ago I mentioned that I had a goal of losing 35 pounds before my July vacation…. yeah well, that’s not gonna happen, but I think that aiming for a 12-15 pounds loss is doable considering how I tend to lose, gain, lose weight these days…. This week I want to track EVERYTHING I eat.and try to get as much movement as possible. So far I haven’t been able to go 10,000 steps a day, on a good day I can do around 6,000 (but that comes with pain and extreme fatigue) I’m trying to work through this set back yet allowing myself the time to heal (hopefully I can find a happy medium)
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If you want to check out my journey so far: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4, Week 5, Week 6, Week 7, Week 8, Week 9, Week 10, Week 11, Week 12, Week 13, Week 14, Week 15, Week 16, Week 17-20, Week 21, Week 22
Until Next Time….