Thanks, Hindsight

Writing

 

 

Writing Prompt:How is the year shaping up for you so far? Have your predictions come true, or did you have to face a curve ball or two?

 

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This time last year I was thrown a major curve ball. After what was supposed to be a minor (seriously it was a day surgery…. and it took 20 minutes, the prep took longer than the actual procedure) to remove a suture granuloma on the line of my transplant site, actually now that I mention it this was the second one that I had…. the first one went well, except for about a month later my stomach started to swell in one spot and it popped open and goicuoey puss came out….. which was what prompted me to have the damn surgery the first time. The doctor went it a second time, but got some of the lower sutures that were closer to the muscle…. and removed those hoping that the inflammation response would calm down.All went well as far as I could tell… I was in a little pain… nothing major, then a few days later I was in a lot of pain…. it hurt to stretch, my stomach was swollen, but I figured I wasn’t really taking the pain medication and it was part of the healing process….

Well you know what’s not part of the healing process… waking up in a pool of blood., there was a hole in my stomach small than the size of a pencil eraser….that was literally gushing blood…. I’ll spear you the nasty details… but I will say that I was rushed to the closest hospital via ambulance.. bleed the 6 or so hours I was there; the doctors couldn’t stop the bleeding, then transferred my back to the hospital that I had the surgery (thank goodness that hospital was crappy and the monitor staff…. well not that discreet (seriously click on the link ) Spent time in ICU, Lost half of my blood volume, and spent a month or so on a heat monitor.

So I can safely say that the beginning of 2015 was beyond shitty…. and the rest of the year was pretty much the same. So (Iike I do every year) I told my self that the next year I would have no major health crises… SO FAR SO GOOD!

So when 2015 ended I took stock of my life and realized there are things that I can’t control, Having an autoimmune illness and all the stuff that comes with it is out of my control, at this point I can only control my response. It’s hard when things happen to your body and you can’t control it, so it’s sort of made me a control freak…. but in the end the added stress was not helping me, so I adopted a simple (yet tough matra) “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff” I can’t stress about things I can’t do anything about.. .. and I’m happy to say (even though it’s an on-going process) I’ve been successful.

It occurred to me the other day that I’m happy. Now to many of you, that might seem weird that I would say that, but I’m was always content…. so being happy about my life as it is at this moment is strange for me, and that’s a major change from last year…

So far my prediction has been correct, but we are so early in the year, who knows what challenges I may face in the coming months, but I’m prepared and I’ll handle it like I always do…..

So now I will make a prediction for 2017. Not only will I be happier than I am this year, but I’m also gonna be a kick-ass aunt….. I’ll let you know this time next year if I’m successful

 

Until Next Time,

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Copyright © 2016– Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

Whoa!

Writing

 

Writing Prompt: What’s the most surreal experience you’ve ever had?

 

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I went in for what was considered by my medical team as a “minor procedure”. It took more time to prep than it did to do the actual procedure In January I was going to get my Suture Granuloma repaired, After 3 years I was sick and tired of my stomach swelling, then when I least expected blood and puss gushing out of my  side and basically ruining all my shirts. Wait I totally forgot this was the second time that they were doing it… apparently the first time the doctor didn’t get all the sutures that were irritating me ….. and the process started over again.

So anyway I have the procedure, no biggie…. I’m in a little pain, but nothing I can’t handle….. fast forward two days later when my stomach started to swell, and just the idea of moving hurt like hell, the plain was to medicate myself, and stay in bed, but my aunt and uncle were going on a trip and I had promised them before the surgery that I would take them to the airport. My uncle asked me if I was feeling okay, and l simply replied, II;’m in a lot of pain from the procedure that I had, when I drop you guys off I’m going home and going to bed”. What I didn’t know is that he pulled my aunt to the side and told her that he thought I didn’t look good and shouldn’t be driving.  Whatever the case, they got to the airport safely, I got home, popped some pain pills and went to bed.

Around 2am I got up to use the bathroom, the first thing that I noticed my stomach no longer felt “tight” and swollen and the pain was minimal, the other thing that I noticed that my night gown was covered in blood, and so was the pillow that I was holding against my stomach.

I ran to the bathroom, lifted my shirt up and noticed that the bandage was soaked and blood was dripping from it,  so while having a minor freak out I change the bandage and secure it thinking that this would be okay… as I walked back to my bedroom I realized that blood was still coming out of the wound, it was now dripping down my leg and on the floor… it was in that moment that something wasn’t right. I started to really freak-out…. because I was bleeding it wasn’t stopping (and I was on a blood thinner) and I felt a panic attack coming on.

Things happened really fast after that: I called my mother, I called 911, I work my brother up and told him to get dressed (I was scared, wasn’t sure if I was gonna pass out and I needed SOMEONE there ). Because it was considered an emergency I had to go to the nearest hospital and not MY hospital. (SIDENOTE: Because I seriously thought I was going to die, me in my infinite wisdom wanted to “document” the entire thing as “proof”….. Blood loss is a bitch…. I wasn’t thinking clearly)

energI’m not going to diss the hospital, but it was a mess (I found some of the staff to be totally unprofessional …see photo)the doctor basically had to lie and tell the radiologist that I was pregnant so that they could scan me right away, the entire time I was in the hospital I didn’t stop bleeding…. I was in the ER for at least 8 hours. MY hospital was under the impression that they had moved me to ICU while they were waiting to transport my there; needless to say they were shocked to find out I in the ER the entire time

 

 

 

 

 

Finally the Calvary arrived that took me to MY hospital, where they whisked me straight to the Critical ICU Unit, My doctor meet me there was shocked by what happened, based on the scans that he saw he couldn’t visualize where the blood was coming from, and he didn’t understand why this was happening, because they didn’t go near any vessels….. but here’s what they did know… the swelling, tightness and pain I was feeling, was actually my stomach filling up with blood and it came safe sexout of a whole that was no bigger than an eraser (on the top of a pencil).

 

 

 

 

Lots of tests, lots of blood, lots of platelets, lots of oxygen, lots of doctors poking and prodding me, and I was headed back to surgery ….. to find the vessel and close it. Because I’m me, and my body loves to play cruel jokes on everyone. the surgical team could not find the vessel that was bleed (One again my body has stumped a team of medical professionals… I’m pretty sure this is the 3, 467 times that’s happened…. life as a spoonie; what can you do)..So they just went again and cauterized anything they felt look suspicious.

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After a short stay in the hospital I was sent home to recuperate, but because I lost more than half of my blood volume, my recovery was not smooth sailing, I was plagued with fainting, dizziness and an erratic heart rate…. and naturally, because I just love accessories I was given a heart monitor to wear for a month….. needless to say the found nothing wrong with my heart, just reacting to blood loss and severe anemia…..

 

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After this happened I vowed not to have anymore elective procedures……EVER!!

So I guess I should ask you, which was more surreal, having a minor procedure turn into a major emergency? Losing more than half of my blood volume and documenting it on social media? Or trying not to pass out while medical professional tells another person about their one night stand/BJ? Or as I write this I am preparing myself for yet another procedure this time it’s an AV Fistula in my kidney (and once again I have stumped my medical team)….    You decide!

 

Until Next Time

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Copyright © 2015 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

Tyra Takes On Weight Watchers–Week 21

 

Fitness

Lately I feel like everything has been one obstacle after the next, after taking a two week (unexpected hiatus due to emergency surgery) hiatus from Weight Watchers I was finally feel good enough to attend a meeting this past Sunday (and by the time I got home I was so tried I didn’t dare turn on my computer and write about it… which is why you’re getting this on Tuesday).

I’m glad to be back, I’m telling you being in the hospital is the pits, but you know what was worst, you think “my body has been through all sorts of hell and trauma surely I’ve lost a few pounds (yes I actually thought that)” imagine my surprise when every single day I was weighed (apparently they do that when you’re in ICU) and my weight was creeping up and up. By the end of my hospital stay I was 10 pounds heavier. So not only was I annoyed at my body, I was annoyed by everything.. And because I was healing, I told myself that I needed to focus on my and getting back to normal, so I passively followed Weight Watchers, I tracked…up to a point. I ate whatever I wanted, in any quantity I wanted. People have a tendency to bring you thinks when you are convalescing…. things like cupcakes, and candy, fruit…. whatever people brought me I ate it…. I’m not sad about that .. I enjoyed it… but I knew that I was gonna have to back to reality started to scare me and I knew I had gained a lot of weight while in the hospital (my mother insisted that it was all the IV fluid and blood I had received while I was there). And Sunday rolled around I was not able to go to a meeting but my Weight Watchers App kept wanting me to update my weight…. so I did .. and I nearly cried.

By week 2 I had slowly started to lose some of the weight … and was up by 6 pounds. I felt good about that.. at least it was coming off. even though it was slow. I started to feel frustrated about not being able to workout for the foreseeable future (due to the fact that my surgical would was left open (*sigh* seriously it’s the winter time and I’m walking around with a gaping abdominal would. WHAT THE FUCK!) and how that will possible effect my weight loss. Any other time I would be gripping about not being able to go to the gym, now that I can’t physically go that’s all I want to do.

So on Sunday I go to my Weight Watchers meeting…determined to get back on track, determined to continue on my journey despite this setback I had it in my mind to be prepared for my weight to be up, so I got one the scale and was waiting for Darlene to tell me that I was up at least 6 pounds. But she said,  “Tyra, you lost this week, Good Job” What the hell is happening, and I living in Bizzaro World??

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This week’s topic was, “Who’s Got Your Back?” Who is your support system. I have found from my own personal experience that when you tell people that you are losing weight, or doing Weight Watchers people are generally supportive of your journey. In the beginning I identified my mother my as one of my biggest challenges, she’s was a “food pusher” but some how through this process she has become one of my biggest supporters, she’s always asking me “Do you have enough points for this?” And I think some of the changes that I have made have spilled over to her, she’s making small but positive steps to improve her health.

After the meeting I stayed and got what our leader calls “a shot in the arm” which is really the orientation that they give to new members, I just felt like I needed it this week. But I guess it’s like riding a bike, you don’t really forget.

This week I want to work on identifying my current challenges, work out a solution and then devise a fix.

Several weeks ago I mentioned that I had a goal of losing 35 pounds before my July vacation…. yeah well, that’s not gonna happen, but I think that aiming for a 12-15 pounds loss is doable considering how I tend to lose, gain, lose weight these days…. This week I want to track EVERYTHING I eat.and try to get as much movement as possible. So far I haven’t been able to go 10,000 steps a day, on a  good day I can do around 6,000 (but that comes with pain and extreme fatigue) I’m trying to work through this set back yet allowing myself the time to heal (hopefully I can find a happy medium)

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Add me as a friend on FitBit

If you want to check out my journey so far: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4, Week 5, Week 6, Week 7, Week 8, Week 9, Week 10, Week 11, Week 12, Week 13, Week 14, Week 15, Week 16, Week 17-20, Week 21, Week 22

Until Next Time….

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Copyright © 2015 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved