What The F*ck? – TOWIE Ep. 12

We have finally reached the end!! So much unnecessary drama…another round of foolishness and f*ckery from my favorite overly tan, overly inflated Brits. So for those  two people who actually read my TOWIE posts these are for you..  Season 12 posts can be found here: 1-45-6 , 7, 8 , 9 , 10 and 11. This post photos are courtesy of Holy Moly

The last episode everyone was talking about either Arg or the Wedding, oh and there was a party…

Episode 12 “FINALE – Thank God!”

Arg finally get’s to meet baby Nellie. he looks rather cute with the baby and the parasol… aITV_t_TOWIEb073114nd first glance I? thought that it was Billie and her fiancée… Arg is getting baby fever and things he would be a good dad to her cubby babies who he would knick name Tum-Tum. Poor Arg has been a little down, between the issues with Lydia and things with the Wrights… it’s a lot right now. Billie asks Nellie if he can get Lydia back… naturally she  doesn’t answer.

Having Malts, Gemma, Bobby, Ferne and Charlie, Bobby feels like Danny Zucko, I’m a bit confused… doesn’t his hair always look like that? Apparently there is a 50’s style  fun fair… which means it’s a good time to bring out the leathers… Gemma is still looking for a man.  Carole (last post I added an e…. sorry) Jessica, Debbi and Lydia are also preparing for the party… I would ask why these moms always party with their daughters bit momentarily I forgot what I was watching… apparently there will be more than one Danny Zucko there. Jessica get’s a text from Leah, her honeymoon is over and she’s ready to talk…Leah’s going to the fun fair and it should be a good time for all. Naturally they are still talking about the wedding and apparently Carol doesn’t appreciate that Chloe is talking about it as Carol says, “She’s not family” I’m having a bit of déjà vu… this is the same crap she said about Ricky last season… it might be time for someone to tell Carole to stay in her damn lane….

Over at Chloe’s (the salon)  Danni and Georgia  are getting their hair done and taking about the Fifty Shades of Gray trailer. Apparently Danni likes to hear about people’s sex lives., Chloe would never want to be tied up, but Georgia thinks that Grace totally would, they hash up all the issues with Grace accusing Fran of cheating with her ex.

Lewis and Lauren are on the screen, I’m super bored. Lauren says that Danni is twisting the truth… I’m confused, maybe I missed something because I felt like Danni was very clear about her feelings, and honestly Lewis needs to shut the f*ck up… he wasn’t even there to witness the argument he should not be commenting on anything…. I’m done with those two. I swear Lauren has said “like” at least 50 times in this conversation…. so annoying.

Lydia is wavering back and forth with the Arg situation…and like always she cries… I am so over this. On her way home Lydia calls Arg (who is making a massive sandwich) feels like it was a good idea to talk to him and talk before they see each other that evening because she doesn’t want it to be awkward between the two of them. I’m happy that they were able to have a grown up conversation.

The Sugar Hut… Chloe and Elliot are having cITV_t_TOWIEg073114offee, and Jessica walks in to let them know that Leah called, Chloe is watching and keeping quiet.. once again Jessica is making excuses for her mother’s bad behavior… how about this apologize to Leah..I’m confused about how Carole and Jess knew about the conversation that Chloe had with her brother… maybe they saw it on television.

God… Grace is on the screen.. and because she has absolutely nothing to talk about she’s still talking about Georgia and Fran… does this girl have other friends? And once again Lewis is getting in the girl’s business…. I seriously think that this will fall back on him and bite him in his ass. Grace vows to continue to give as good as she gets (it). If Grace has proof why hasn’t she shown it and shut this nonsense down… then non of this would be happening….

I saw the Tarot cards, and instantly knew that Gemma was seeing a psychic again… this time it’s George Valentino, Bobby is there to give her a bit of support… there is a man in her future, and love will defiantly blossom for her.

Grease is the word…. and holy crap this is probably the best party ever…seriously. It looks just like a scene out of the movie..everyone looks fantastic, the amount of gel the guys are wearing is astounding.  Charlie and Chloe are having a conversation by the strong man and Ferne comes over with cotton candy, she apologizes for not talking to ITV_t_TOWIEm073114Chloe the other night. It looks like the girls are ready to move on and rebuild their relationship… I’m sure Charlie is happy about this. Danni and Lockie are getting cotton candy and Lewis and Lauren with her best bitch face walk over… honestly I don’t know if it’s bitch face or too much Botox. The guys are good friends and they don’t want the girls to fight because it makes everything awkward…. okay, okay they have a point, but the girls didn’t come say one word to one another and just walked away… FYI: Lauren is officially Lewis’ girlfriend… and I officially don’t care (Mr. Sandman is playing in the background… and I’m nearly falling asleep). Lydia is waiting by the candy cart and Tom goes over to tell her his opinion and tells her that they are meant to be together.

There  montage of everyone eating, playing games and on the Ferris Wheel, but one thing that I couldn’t ignore was that kiss that Bobby laid on Dan…holy cow!! (hope Harry didn’t see that). Why is every time Grace is on the screen Lewis is right by her side… clearly he’s the only friend that she has left… but  here comes the mean girls  Tom, FranITV_t_TOWIEn073114 and Georgia and Diags. Georgia is really annoyed of everyone calling her a liar… they talk about the pictures and Diags is over the entire situation… and walks away.

I’m loving Ricky lately… he;s so cute… he and Chloe are talking and he tells her that she should go talk to Carole, but the way that he says it in a the high pitched sing-song voice is hilarious. Ricky is breaking his rule (and not keeping his mouth closed) and he tells her that Carol is pissed off with her.And Carole, Jessica and Elliot are literally 6 feet away…. they should totally go say hi. Greasiness must run in the family,  because here comes Leah ready to confront her aunt and her cousin, once again the blame goes back to Arg, and Carol has not once admitted he part in the situation, Elliot makes his aunt apologize to Leah and Carol looks seriously hesitant… like What The F*ck Carol?

BARRY!! And their nice with each other… maybe they can’t be together, but maybe they can be friends again. They look over and Gemma is chatting with a man…. they look intrigued, but Gemma wasn’t;t impressed.. apparently he was too short and he has kids…

Arg and Lydia finally have a moment alone. Arg admits that he should have bee completely honest with her. He’s seriously nervous and he says, “I’m still the person you fell in love with, just a better version.”  so for the third time he gives Lydia her shoes… because apparently she’s always loved Sex in the City…. but wait there is another  surprise. Arg takes a blindfolded Lydia across a bridge…he recounts the first time they told each other they loved each other, Arg breaks down in tears. He has someone sing their song, it’s very sweet and romantic..

Elliot pulls Chloe to the side and tells her that even though he wasn’t looking for he, he’s found it..he’s totally smitten with her and it’s good to see

The Grease Finale… with the song (FYI that was my senior song… who’s idea was that?)


It was all very sweet but how long is this love affair gonna last? Guess we have to wait until next season to find out

Thoughts about the season 

Although he is a charming douche I did miss Mario, it would have been nice to see if the relationship between Mario and Charlie suffered due to the blink and you miss relationship with him and Chloe, and I would have loved to see who he would have tried to date this season. I will admit even though I tried to fight it I do like Chloe and Elliot together, I’m not sure if it was the pacing of the season, but things seem to be moving fast.. may with the two of them together they will ease up on the plastic surgery.

I don’t know what to think about the whole Chloe and Lauren (friendship) breakup. I will say what I said before, if you let some guy get in between your friendship… that says a lot about the strength of your friendship to begin with. Arg and Lydia… I’m just hoping that we don’t have to deal with the back and forth next season. I still think Jasmine and Dan should leave, it’s seriously time for some new blood, and maybe once and for all Grace will close her mouth

Even though they didn’t’ t have a lot of screen time I missed seeing Barry together, and hopefully now that Billie has had the baby maybe we can see more of her… at this point she’s the only person on this show with common sense.

Honesty this is the second season where I’ve had that love it or leave it mentality… I’ll give it one more season before I give up on it….

And naturally there was a finale party, where everyone showed off their finest plastic surgery and weaves.

What The F*ck? – TOWIE Ep. 11

Is this show over yet? So much unnecessary drama…another round of foolishness and f*ckery from my favorite overly tan, overly inflated Brits. So for those  two people who actually read my TOWIE posts these are for you..  Season 12 posts can be found here: 1-45-6 , 7, 8 , 9 and 10. This post photos are courtesy of Holy Moly

In the last episode Arg and  and burger nipples got their heart broken when Lydia (pretty much) told him to close his damn mouth closed….everyone doesn’t really need to know that they are having sex, and they are no longer friends with benefits, and of course there was a a wedding and love was in the air in Spain and in Essex where Gemma had a blind date with a younger man who she had previously kissed before (and totally forgot)

Here we go….

Episode 11Arg and the Wedding”

Wait Arg is finally moving out, I thought that he found a place last season…. well good for him, he sure didn’t forget to pack his “I Love Lydia” scrapbook with him. Pat inquires about how things went in Spain, Arg things overall they went well but now another girl has come out of the wood work and said that something that happened between her and Arg three years ago so now Lydia isn’t talking to him again. His mom thinks there are only so many times a person can say sorry (I tend to agree, but how about not cheating so you don’t have to say sorry all the time… just a thought)

Gemma can always rely on Bobbie for a good rub down. Gemma exclaims that she’s not desperate (wish I could insert a picture of my face) and Bobby agrees, then in the next breathe she happily mentions that she’s having lunch with Arg (cause we all know that she still has feelings for him…. and I seriously don’t understand why) apparently he’s finally cashing in on the date that he “won” at Gemma’s Bingo party…. (now we get ,more deets on Arg’s discretion) rumor has it that Arg had a threesome (once again I wish you could see my face) I agree with Gemma, if he’s so serious (or wants to be serious) with Lydia why is it so difficult for him to grow up?

Chloe, Greasy!Elliot and Ricky are at a restaurant having a chat about the wedding. I will say that it’s nice that Ricky and Elliot have out their difference aside, well enough to gossip…okay let me get this right Carole had a little too much to drink and the wedding and Leah and her ad words… which is awful, no one wants to reign in their drunk aunt at their wedding. So Elliot decides it a good idea to video chat with his sister on her honeymoon, because that’s always a good time to chat about family dysfunction. Leah tells them she hasn’t spoken to Carole or Jessica since the wedding and she feels bad about it and would have preferred to avoid the entire situation… I’m sure Carole and Jessica will be telling their side of the story… but good thing is Ricky says he’s not gonna get involved (which is good… someone of this show can finally mind their own ITV_t_TOWIEe072814business)

Lydia stops by to visit her sister Georgia who sitting in the garden reading her magazine. I will say this … I really do like Lydia’s hair, I think that she looks so much better with her hair darker and toned down makeup . apparently the sisters haven’t been talking over Lydia’s decision to get back together with Arg…the thought of them having sex makes Georgia sick to her stomach (I’m agree) . Must have made for awkward family dinners, since mom is clearly “Team Arg”  Georgia reminds Lydia that Arg is a pathological liar and you may never know how many people he has slept with.

Another person on TOWIE has opened a store… what is it with these assholes opening stores? this time it’s Danni and she’s naming her store… Danni (how original) . Useless!Jasmin is there and so is Dumb!Dan along with Locke… and honestly I think the only thing he has done so far was laugh.. Useless!Jasmin jokes that none of the mannequinsITV_t_TOWIEp072814 looks like her, while Dan says she should just stand in the window …  God Lord, here we go another party… and another fashion show…. cause we I agree she has the personality of a mannequin I get that they come from well off backgrounds, but seriously it feels like every person on the show has a shop, yet we rarely see them working in said shop…just standing around holding clothes… well this time it’s Danni, and she get’s her friends to help her with the store opening of her new shop she unimaginatively named Danni….

Lauren stops by Lewis bachelor pad that he’s currently sprucing up with a fresh coat of paint, although she’s not helping, she is instructing him about proper painting etiquette.
Naturally things after you normal., so they have to start talking about someone. Lewis thinks that Danni was rude to Lauren, and Lauren in all her blondness just doesn’t get it.

Carole popped over to Jessica’s to gossip, when finally hear more about what happened at the wedding, Arg apparently was joking a bit too far with Carole (Arg goes a bit too far with everyone) Carole blames Arg for everything as she says, “he’s not intelligent enough to think before he speaks”…ouch! Ricky joins the conversation and the Arg blame continues… I really want to hear what Arg has to say about this, but I have to say I’m super impressed that Ricky is keeping his mouth closed.

Debbie joins her daughters to talk about Arg… seems like everyone is talking about him today.. I wonder if his ears are burning? Georgia thinks that Arg can’t ever do anything bad in his eyes.  Georgia finds it very bizarre that Debbie has such a good relationship with Arg, after all the horrible things that he ‘’s done to her daughter, honestly I have to agree…  if you cheat and humiliate my daughter, you can’t just call for a chat and pop over for some tea asking me what you need to do to get her back…I like this Georgia … she makes a lot of sense.

WAIT I’m confused! Jessica designs clothing? How did I miss that? I thought that she was a singer…Ricky and Jess are in her studio. Ricky is looking over sketches; that I’m sure she paid someone else to draw and she playing with clothing… what is it with everybody, you get on television for five  minutes and instantly you’re a designer, or a stylist… like are you for real, but I forget that all these people come from privileged backgrounds maybe their way of contributing to the world is through fashion (totally sounds like something Vas would say). The wedding continues to be topic of conversation.  Ricky convinces Jessica to call Leah in Spain while she’s still on her honeymoon… and she wants to know how Leah is feeling about the whole wedding situation. Leah sounds a bit standoffish, she doesn’t want to talk to Jessica and it’s totally clear. She has a right to b upset. people were acting an ass at her wedding, her friends and family were acting an ass.. I would be pissed off at the whole lot of them, but I think that Jessica feels like it wasn’t her fault and Leah shouldn’t be made at her…. now let me ask you this, why do they keep calling her on her honeymoon? Honestly I would have waited until the situation cooled down and contacted her when she returned home, but this is TOWIE so you gotta have a bot of drama for the cameras.

Over at the deli (man I’m hungry) Chloe and Charlie are talking about the wedding… cause that’s all people are talking about the wedding and Arg. Chloe and Elliot have only been together for 8 weeks… she calls him her soul mate (are you serious?… already?)

SKATING!!! Tom, Fran and Diags (cause you know Tom is always there) and wait Lydia is there to, so it’s not totally awkward… how long do you think it’s gonna talk for the conversation to get to Arg? As long as it took me to type that last sentence… Lydia tells the gang that she and Arg had an argument, and if I didn’t love Diags more he says what everyone who is watching this show said “what else I new” .  Naturally his boys have his back and Lydia is still feeling the pressure between her family and her feelings.

Gemma and Arg on having their date at  Burger Bar and naturally they are talking about him and his threesome and how it’s affecting his relationship with Lydia.. Trust issues….blah, blah, blah. Gemma thinks that it karma biting him back in the ass. Gemma is giving him some hard core advice to go and finally get his woman. Lay it on the line ITV_t_TOWIEa072814and if she rejects you, it’s time to walk away and finally move on. While they are enjoying their meal Georgia (Lydia’s sister) walks in and from the look on Gemma’s face I know that a conversation is gonna be had…Georgia really want  Arg to take a step back before he really hurts Lydia (hasn’t he already done that… many times?) Arg seems remorseful and really confused about why Lydia is upset about old news… the issue remains trust. (I can’t get over the eye rolling coming from Gemma) Arg needs to learn to stand up for his self, all he keeps saying is “I’m sorry”. Georgia doesn’t seem all that convinced, and honestly I’m not either if he loves Lydia like he’s telling everyone he should have spoken up a little bit more

I never knew how long and lanky Vas was until I saw him on skates. Lauren and Vas discuss Danni’s opening and both of the are confused about why she has drama with Lauren..

Danni is modeling her clothing and I had a serious flashback of Amy ad her modeling days. That party is gonna be glamorous and all about fashion. we finally learn why Danni is so pissy with Lauren, apparently Lauren has been “muggy” towards her… well yeah, you made her gay best friend cry… I would  muggy with you to.  Danni doesn’t appreciate that Lauren was making fun of her behind her back

It’s party time… or should I say drama time (whenever there’s a party you know drama is right behind it). Danni is wear this chocker that is huge, at first glance I thought that it was a harness… geez. Lockie (newly bald ass and all) is happy that’s able to share this with Danni (cause you know she’s forgiven him and he signed the relationship contract and everything). Lewis seems woefully underdressed and since he’s totally in love with Lauren he feels the need to go and defend Lauren, which hasn’t he learned that she should stay out of it when it concerns the girls. Arg tells Greasy!Elliot and Ricky that Lydia has trust issues when it comes to him and thinks that he’s a compulsive liar… I do too honestly, Arg lies about EVERYTHING! Lydia is outside having second thoughts about seeing Arg, so she decides to go home, she doesn’t want to deal with him; which means Arg is gonna have to go to her place and beg.

Chloe is in the bathroom applying her makeup and Ferne walks in… I don’t know what’s gonna happen but I’m super excited to see the two of them on the screen together..  I will say that Ferne looks really pretty in her dress… both are standing in the mirror and they both exchange awkward complements with one another… boo-hoo I was hoping ITV_t_TOWIEj072814for one final show down with the two of them… yay for maturity (sarcasm!) While Danni is dismissing the extras her models.. Lauren walk up ready to join the party, but it’s over… she says that she’s just coming to pick up Lewis, and Danni thinks it’s a good time to have conversation…. honestly they are talking so fast I can’t even follow… Danni tells Lauren there’s a reason she doesn’t have friends and she’s totally irreverent.

Jessica is on a war path … and it leads right to Arg. Arg says that he had a few drinks and they  (Carole) always go back and forth, apparently him calling Carole a pushy mom was a bit to much… let’s be honest Carole is a bit pushy… have we forgotten how she was during the whole Wrights vs. Ricky situation…this family loves to gang up on people. All of this bull shit over a microphone and letting someone sing.. it’s ridiculous. Elliot being a stand up guy tells Jessica that Arg can’t be blamed for the entire situation (EXACTLY!!) . Carole was drunk and started talking crap to Leah..here’s a word of advice… don’t drink so much. Maybe someone should ask Leah who she thinks is to blame??


Until Next Time….

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Copyright © 2014 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

What The F*ck – The TOWIE Edition (Season 11)


So thanks to Hulu. I have finally seen all of season 11 of TOWIE, if you have to clue what’s I’m talking about go to Hulu, watch then come back here.

Now I will mainly be talking about the last episode of Season 11. I will be going back and discussing some issues with with the entire season; now some of you might remember that I did a What The F*ck!  TOWIE Edition and I think I was only 3 episodes in when I wrote it. Some of my opinions have changed… and some have not… so let’s get started.

Let’s talk about the the sheer number of cast members again… there were A LOT! And because there were so many people around I don’t feel like there weren’t a lot of substantial storylines.. they should start taking a not from Bravo’s Real House Wives franchise… and start demoting people with “friends of the house wives” because a lot of people were frankly … set dressing.

Fern and Charlie: Thank you God! No on of this planet will know how happy that fiasco is OVER! Charlie I can deal with… but Fern…. FERN!! Every time she goes on the screen I can’t stand her more and more, I have to be honest with you, I really lost a lot of respect for the way she dealt with Charlie and Frank… she made herself look bad.

Frank: I miss you I still think you were one on a few people on this show that had common sense? Where did you go? Just because you’re not with Fern (thank goodness!!) doesn’t mean you should be on the scene….

Chloe, Mario, and Lauren: Listen we know that Mario is a man whore… but I really think that he had genuine feelings for Chloe, I think that when you know someone for as long as the two of them have and when there is the jeopardy of hurting and alienating people it’s something that you really have to think about before you jump in with both feet. I think that’s what both of them were trying to do. I think one of the main reasons that Lauren got so upset is because she still has feelings for Mario and she was hurt that he best friend and Mario were23 hooking up “behind her back”. Although Chloe made is clear that the relationship was secret from everyone, Chloe simply couldn’t get past it. When a friendship falls apart, you really start to see the cracks in your friendship foundation. I don’t know either one of them, but this is 100% my opinion but I think that their friendship was quietly competitive.. and it doesn’t sit well when one gets something the other wanted. I get that there were hurt feelings, but I also feel like there should be some communication; when Lauren had an opportunity to speak to Chloe she declined, but she shared her feelings with Bobby… which I feel is wrong. I liked them together and I think they were a lot of fun on the screen I hope that they are able to work things out and resume their friendship.

Lewis and Grace: So I know in the begging I said, “what the F*ck is your point? But I actually like you now.. And to be honest I didn’t know who’s storyline I despised more, your “relationship” issues with Grace or that crap with Fern and Charlie. This is my opinion on the whole Grace and Lewis situation. Lewis genuinely liked Grace, I mean how many guys do you know would leave flowers on your car? But Grace was like, “Nope, I’m gonna go with the much hotter or probably more prone to VD Mario Fallconi.  You went back and forth between the two until Mario dropped you like he does every chick he’s with and you went skittering back to Lewis. So instead of Lewis instantly taking you back, he let you sweat and you went off boo-hooing to Georgia. Girl Bye!

Sam: (Just like I said previously) I really get why you’re leaving, she’s dealing with a lot with her diagnosis of Crohn’s  disease and she’s been on the show from the very beginning…it’s

Diags and Fran: Thank goodness that situation worked out, I have always liked Fran and I34 liked her more after her “conversation” with Fern, I gotta say I agree 100% with everything you said, I liked that she put Fern in her place (no one cares about your tears… except for Gemma). They told each other that they love each other… all is good in TOWIE land… well until next season.

Ricky and Jessica: This is a clear case of people who need to mind their own damn business. Two adults in a relationship who are happy and currently doing well do not need parents, and a know it all cousin causing drama. Jessica cried too much this season, and finally I had to ask, why is she not standing up for herself and her man? I understand being really close to your family; your mother in particular but I have never seen a mother get so upset about her adult daughter moving out into her own apartment, I was seriously like, “you wrote a poem about her moving out… who does that?”


Lewis: Lewis and Lauren should date… the end!

Locke and Danni: I take back what I said, This is by far the most annoying relationship on TOWIE… Every episode the exact same thing was said nothing was resolved….. he cheated before they were”official” she’s hurt by it …we get it… and yet we still don’t care. Does anyone know if they have gotten back together? IO hope so, I’m don’t like them but I’m sick of this whole break-up


Bobby and Gemma: The most co-dependent dynamic duo ever to grace the TOWIE scene. I have finally decided that Gemma might need some serious therapy and not the kind that Bobby likes to give out (was I the only one who felt like he was trying to be Danni’s personal therapist this season) I feel like Gemma is constantly going back and forth with her personal gemma-bobby-towierelationships and with her weight . When she cried when Arg went to talk to Lydia I lost it… I’m confused…Have you moved on or haven’t you? You and Arg are not good together, you both know it… it really is time to move on to bigger and better things… Here’s a thought … You and Frank!!! Now that would be interesting.

Elliot: You need to find a storyline…

Dan : Why are you still here… what I feel about you I feel about David Beckham, you’re really nice to look at and when you start to talk I lose my lady boner.

Does anyone know if the Marbella episode has aired yet? I wonder if Hulu is gonna have it….

Until Next Season,

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Copyright © 2014 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

What The F*ck! – The TOWIE Edition


So those of us in the United States are just now getting TOWIE Season 11 … Thank you HULU! But unlike previous seasons when Hulu would allow you to binge watch the show, they are releasing two episodes every Saturday, and I guess that’s okay it’s giving me something to look forward to. So before I start I should say that we are like a month behind the UK airings, and I just started watching episode 4. So for many of you this might be old news (and I could very well incorrect with my feelings)


First off let me as you, why in the hell is this cast so huge, remember back in Season 1 when there were like 5 main cast members, now have like 20?download (1) Remember when all the guys were club promoters and the girls were into fashion and modeling and the makeup was really, really, really bad (remember all that rouge Lydia had on during the 60’s part…eek).. so while I’m looking for the picture of her seriously bad makeup I find out that Sam is leaving and Lydia is returning… What the F*ck?! Lydia was just so damn boring…. I guess I have deal with her crying about how unhappy she is  while her mother/friend sits there and coddle her….I went off on a tangent.. Remember when every episode there was some party at the Sugar Hut (which I see has finally makes a return… is it took much to as that we see a bit of Mick or Kirk?)

I hate the new version of the theme some… What The F*ck?! I can’t even sing along in a super high pitched voice anymore, I know that they are trying to take the show in a different direction, but they could have at least kept the song….. so let’s get to the idiots… well I mean cast members.

Fern and Charlie: I binged watched Season 10 on Hulu in 2 or 3 days… so I was lucky that I only had to deal with the epic bull crap that is Fern and Charlie’s relationship, first off I had a hard tome getting used to Fern and Charlie when they first came on the show, an I instantly disliked them, when all their friends relationships were falling apart (Which is the norm apparently ) they seem to throw their relation in EVERYONE’s faces and remind us all how in love and normal they were…. well then we had to deal with their breakup and the fact that Charlie cheated on Fern with 20 women throughout their relationship. They breakup he begs, she cries to everyone on planet Earth, yet they continue to sleep together all the while she’s whining, “I’ll never images2314be able to trust you” and finally Charlie take a page out of the Jerry McGuire manuscript and she decided gives it another go and they all live happily ever after…… until Season 11 when we find out they they are STILL having problems because Fern can’t trust him because he slept with 20 women and so instead of breaking up with him she decided to sleep with some other dude that apparently everyone knows named Frank (who quite honestly  his lips are distracting …kind like Lydia Bright’s). And this is where I’m asking What the F*ck?! She did the exact same thing that Charlie did and was able to justify it. The way that she lied about the whole situation, slept with Charlie THEN tells the truth says a lot about her character. But don’t think Charlie is getting off so easily he was clearly wrong, and the fact that he cheated and slept with that many women during the course of his relationship with Fern simply means that he’s no ready or mature enough to be in a committed relationship… They both need to be single and work on themselves! OMG I can’t even believe that you hooked up with Jasmine, why does everyone go to Jasmine when they breakup with someone….


Chloe: I like the new teeth, I’m not sure why you decided to get your teeth in beaver size in the first place, did you get new boobs too? I know that you were trying to look more natural? But uhmm… you’re far from natural….and naturally I got spoilers, which isn’t that odd….but Chloe and Mario What The F*ck?! But this seems like a clusterfuck in the making, why would you date your little brother’s best friend who also happened to date your best friend? And pretty much half of the population of Essex? I guess it’s really true everyone eventually hooks up with everyone is Essex?

Dan: What the F*ck?! Where is he? I get that he’s raising little Teddy, but I miss him, his incredible body (not including that hideous Michael Jackson tattoo) and you genuinely seem like one of the few people on this show that has some common sense…. we need to see more of you!towiepremario

Mario: What the F*ck?! All last season, you kept saying how much you regretted the way that things ended with you and Lucy, but then go and date the gymnast … what was that girls name…PASCAL.. (I had to really think about that one) Then this season at your birthday party you’re all about Grace (who I really like so far by the way…I love her dimples) and even though I think she’s more suited to Lewis, turns out she’s no longer a fan of your anymore either. Didn’t I read somewhere that you dated Lucy’s little sister’s friend? What The F*ck?! Who does that?? Clearly you lead by your dick. What happened to you swearing off women? Does anyone know how long that lasted? Now you’re dating Chloe?  And before you even proclaim how great things are I already know it’s doomed to fail double What The F*ck?!

Lucy: You have been playing this game since season 1… you have really starting to annoy the hell out of me. You don’t want the man, but you don’t want anyone else to have them either What the Fuck?! Apparently you and Lauren have A LOT to talk about…. wouldn’t that be an awesomely annoying spin-off

Lewis: What the F*ck is your point? …hopefully you’ll get a story line, I think we have enough “bros” on this show

Elliot: Last season I didn’t like Elliot at all I felt like he was second rate mark, between him and Lewis it was like he was making every single and available woman on the show but so far you really seem to be working on developing and maintaining your friendships with people, and that’s a lot more than most of the cast has been doing. I really, really love the friendship that you have with Gemma, I love how you are encouraging gemma-collins-elliott-wrighther and helping her get into shape.

Gemma: First of all I love bacon too, and when Elliot threw yours away I cried for you… eggs and bacon.. there is nothing better. Gemma used to be my favorite cast member on the show, but she’s extremely temperamental and seems to have some confidence issues. Since her introduction to the show she constantly in and out of relationships (but that’s not unusual for anyone on the show) but she is quick to get into an argument when someone she perceives as a friend is disloyal to her by being friends to someone else… this is real like and not high school… people are allowed to have lives outside of Gemma Collins, but despite all of her misgivings I love her… I love that she’s fabulous, and is unapologetic about showing her boy no matter what size it is.

Bobby: This is Bobby’s roll … he walks into a room spills some gossip, rolls his eyes then saunters out.

Arg: Yet another person who I was rooting for when I first watched this show, but now he’s like a teenage girl, him and Bobby should be in cahoots…. they both love to get and spill the gossip… Arg hasn’t perfected the eye roll yet, but he sits in the corner with that stupid grin and that hideous laugh when the everything is going down


Sam: I really get why you’re leaving, she’s dealing with a lot with her diagnosis of Crohn’s  disease and she’s been on the show from the very beginning…it’s time to move on


Billie: Since Billie is gonna be a mom and a wife soon I think she will be leaving the show soon as well….


Diags, Fran,  and Tom: A love triangle this early in the season… YIPEE!! I’m of two minds on this. I get what Tom was trying to do, but I also understand what Diags is coming from. I think Fran should just be like, “Diags lets to this!” … I hope they end up together, he seems like a really nice guy.


Ricky and Jessica: Are they still on the show? Happy nice couples always seem to take the backburner.

Locke and Danni: I feel like this is gonna turning into Fern and Charlie part 2… I already can’t stand it

Like I said before I’m only starting episode 4, but if I have these many feelings with the show this far, just imagine what my feeling would be at the end of this season…. I can’t wait!

Until Next Time,

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