Up Shit’s Creek

Writing

I apologize in advance for any formatting issues, this post was done on my phone through the WordPress app.

Todays post was gonna start with, strangers saw my vag  (true story by the way)

But considering everything maybe I’ll hold off today.

My feelings are hurt. Although my upbringing contradicts it, I grew up very idealistic. I have always felt that our President should be better than us, a person who values our nation and it’s people. We didn’t get that last night.

What we got was man who was openly supported by the KKK and the American Nazi Party, a,man who demeans women and the disabled, a clear racist, who lied repeatedly about his Islamophobia, in short our President-elect is an overly tanned buffoon with bad hair.

America needs a few days to process this bull shit….and so do I, so I’ll be back next week.

Be Kind To One Another,

tyra2_thumb2

 

Copyright © 2016– Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved
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My Ghost Story

Writing

 

So since it’s Halloween, I thought that I would share some creepy, but absolutely true paranormal incidents that have happened to me.

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My very first “incident” happened when I was around 5 or 6. I woke up in the middle of the night, (my mom was sleeping beside me) to look into the hallway and I saw what looked like gray people walking towards the bathroom, I just remember being scared, so I got closed my eyes and hoped it went away. This became pretty regular, and at least once a week…. I figured it was my imagination, so I never anyone, besides I was a little girl, people would say I had an overactive imagination. Years later I told my mother, she got this weird look on her face and said that she remembers having an incident with a “ghost like entity” there as well…

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It wasn’t until after I graduated high school that the second incident occurred. Once again I was sleeping in bed (what the heck is it with beds?),  What woke me up was my bed dipping, I felt someone snuggle up beside me, so a I tried to regulate my breathing so I wouldn’t alert the intruder that I was awake. I felt the person start to touch me. I was sure the intruder was going to rape me, I HAD to run. I didn’t even count, I just ran for life. Something told me to turn around…By the time I got to the kitchen I looked back and my bed was completely empty. I bravely walked back, turned on the light then checked every crevice, of the room, then I searched the house… checked the locks…..nothing… Nothing was there. Could it have been a panic attack? But how do you account for my bed dipping and feeling hot breathe on the back of my neck?….

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I moved into my college dorm, college life was great, my I always felt like something was off on my floor, I kept getting the feeling that someone died, more specifically someone killed themselves, and naturally I never said anything…. cause who wants their roommates to think they are psycho. But I would frequently have the same dream about being told to stay in my room by my dorm advisor, and there being a lot of police outside and huge search lights aimed at my window. I figured it was a mixture of freshman anxiety and reading about urban legends…. so like always I let it go. It wasn’t until one night my roommate was gone (she was a basketball player and was frequently gone for away games) and I had this dream that this girl was crying and yelling at me… she can’t screaming “Why won’t anyone believe me!” I never responded because I had no clue what was going on so I turned my back on her, then I heard heard her say, “I’ll make you believe me”…. then she literally punched my back. I woke up up frightened, but more than that my back was burning, like I had just gotten hit. I turn on the lights, and look at the roommate’s bed,… still empty, so then I got up and checked the doors, completely locked. I actually stayed up that night and as soon as it the sun came up, I hopped on the bus and went home.

When I moved to Las Vegas I never had any incidents… and it sort of seemed like put the past incidents in the back of my head, until I went on a cruise to the Southern Caribbean and one of our stops was Barbados and we were taking a tour of Sunbury Plantation House in Bridgetown, Barbados.

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Sunbury plantation was started in around 1660, and was a large sugar plantation worked by slaves currently the house is used for some government relations functions, it’s also has a restaurant and is used for wedding; Now before I begin this house is absolutely beautiful…  pretty much everything in the home is from the 1600 and the house has been beautifully restored. The group walked into one of the bedrooms, and the tour guide said that this would be a typical bedroom for a woman…I found myself gravitating towards the crib, honestly it was like I was being pulled to the crib, there was one doll that I couldn’t take my eyes off, it wasn’t unusual, it was a normal doll, but it almost felt like that doll was speaking to me… I kept staring at it until my roommate touched my arm, then it was like the “spell” was over… we continued the tour of the house and finally we went to the basement, there were a lot of tools and such down there and I nearly lost it… I got a really bad feeling, it felt like something was squeezing my chest, I started sweating profusely, I got really dizzy and I felt like I was going to pass out.… I looked to my roommate in a panic and told her I had to go outside…I thought that maybe if I went out side and sat in the sun while taking slow, deep breathes I would calm down, I was not unnerved I decided to pray, and asked God to protect me.  I stayed out there was praying for maybe 15 minutes until she came out to get me. Even after we left I continued to feel unnerved.

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At dinner that night I she asked me why I freaked out… and I told her, she looked at me and said, “Tyra I got a bad feeling in that house too”. Now I have never claimed to be psychic or intuitive, but I trust my instincts ALL THE TIME and that house was not kosher… there was something that didn’t feel good… and considering the history of the house it made total sense.

Now that I have told you a few of my “incidents”  do you have any to share?

 

Until Next Time,

tyra2_thumb2

 

Copyright © 2016– Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

Tyra vs. Dating: I’m A Nasty Woman

Writing

 

MISSING OBJECT REPORT
On October 19, 2016 at approx. 4pm. The victim contacted the authorities regarding missing glasses. The victim states that she last remembers them on her place, and doesn’t recall taking them off. She was alerted that they were missing when she could no longer clearly see the K-drama she was watching on Drama Fever (Scarlet Heart : Ryeo).
Luckily the victim has stated the she has a second pair of glasses (which she doesn’t like as much)  that she will wear until her beloved glasses are found.  It should also be known that the victim has a tendency of losing her iPod, glasses of cellophane (more often then not the victim is actually speaking on her cellphone when she exclaims, “Where the heck is my phone!” Any information regarding the safe return of the victim’s glasses would be greatly appreciated.

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So last night I was talking to a new guy Bachelor J (Hispanic male) straight off the bat, I like this dude is going me sexy Andy Garcia vibes… Blue color worker, seems like they kind of guy that could make me feel like a women, she tells me, “I’m a big guy, so I like my woman to have some “thickness to her” dude…. I’m your girl. I got more thickness that I currently want. So then I ask, “what would your family think if you brought a black girl home ?” (an important question when proceeding with any interracial relationship). “As long as I like her they don’t care, but it would be nice if they spoke a little Spanish since my ability speaks broken English”  Once again I’m silently pointing to myself cause true  story  currently learning French and Spanish on Duolingo…(Any day now you make Korean live, like seriously how long are you gonna test it?)

Nearly 3 hours we chatted. I was typing, ” we should totally meet for coffee” When the text, “so let me ask you something” Holy shit, here it comes, I promptly deleted my text and respond, “sure”. At this point I’m pretty sure he’s gonna ask me how I feel about threesomes, or tell me that he still lives with his baby momma and things are “complicated”. At this point I’m steeling myself this can’t me good…
Then he asks about about the election, more specifically who  voting for. DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER WILL ROBINSON…
Things I do not discuss, religion, and politics( both conversations tend to get nasty).  I do lie, I had no choice…I told him, “At this point I’m still undecided, I mean it’s a tough call” his response, “a tough call, are you serious there’s only one choice (PLEASE SAY CLINTON, PLEASE, PLEASE SAY CLINTON) Trump”
One word, one fucking word and my sexy Andy Garcia dreams vanished….I gotta end this conversation NOW.
Then I thought, this dude is punking me so I ask, Are you okay voting for a man who disparages Hispanics and an immigrant families, especially considering you come from an immigrant family?” His response, ” Your family are immigrants too, and it seems like you don’t like him. Plus I’m not that kind of immigrant” I need a moment, cause I’m trying to see what the hell is going on. Should I just peace the fuck out, or should I nope….I’m in too deep. I’m need to end this conversation in the classiest and most lady-like” way..
“First off you ignorant dipshit, you can’t call people who were forcibly brought to this country against their own will immigrants….I think the correct term is slaves. Did you not tell me your family left Mexico so that you and your siblings could have better opportunities than they had… sounds exactly like the kind of immigrants Donald Trump was thinking of. YOU brought up politics, even when I told you I didn’t want to talk about it.”
His response to my tirade, “You’re a stupid bitch!”
“Oh my God, thank you for the compliment, it’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all day”
Now, he’s mad, “Go to hell!” , and because I ALWAYS have to have the latest word, “Sure, I’ll meet you there!”
Slightly amused and horrified I close the app and go to bed. Today this morning around 6am I got a notification…. from Bachelor J. “I think we got off on the wrong foot last night” Is this dude serious, did I hallucinate that entire conversation….I need to scroll and reread the conversation…nope, just as I remembered.
“No, I don’t think we did”, and then proceed to block the fucker.

So the moral of this story…. I’m a nasty woman…
Ugh….dating…

Until Next Time,

tyra2_thumb2

 

Copyright © 2016– Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

What I’ve Been Doing While I Haven’t Been Blogging pt. 1 : Illness, Anxiety and a Whole Heap of Family Drama

Writing

 

Hey Snarkers ( Snarkarimos, Snark-a-doodle-dos….  which ever you prefer; I actually like the last… but whatever),Morning Walk

I hope you all still remember me, because I certainly remember you all and have missed you all and your comments during my long and unplanned hiatus, so let’s get down to it and cut the shit, where have I been? I would suggest you find a comfy place to sit, maybe grab a snack, perhaps a glass of wine if that’s your thing, and let me explain….

In May I was dealing with lack of motivation when it came to the blog, that’s a totally like I just had a lack of motivation all around, I wasn’t inspired to maintain my blog, I was blocked and really just had no energy to deal with it, or anyone else for that matter. What I didn’t know at the time was that I was getting sick, I had totally missed the signs and it took a toll on me, but I knew that once I got better, my mind would clear and I would start back with the blog… Well that was until

June rolled around, honestly much of June is still a blur to me, but during the first half I celebrated my birthday where as I recall I stayed at home and napped most of the day, mostly due to the full blown depression that I was in. I wasn’t speaking to anyone , I didn’t do anything except the required family functions and my weekly Friday walks with my cousin Candace it was literally the only time I went out, and I guess it made me feel a bit normal.. and strangely as quickly as it came on… it went away. I often thought to myself, “maybe its time to get back to write…anything…” But every single time I thought about turning on my computer I was filled with a  sense of dread…needless to say I haven’t turned on my computer for weeks, so I immediately thought the worst, Word press deleted my blog, or maybe I had gotten hate mail, or perhaps a a hacker got a hold of my password and porn has been posted since my absence. I couldn’t deal with it, so I just avoided it.

After being shamed… I mean seriously shamed for not being on “the snap” (as said as Candace) I mean seriously, I have Twitter and I rarely post on there…. did I seriously need to get on more social media… due to peer pressure…. the answer people, is YES… absolutely, and not only that I became seriously obsessed with Snapchat , or rest assured I have calmed down… On the upside after months of being on the waiting list, I was finally about to start therapy (I had been on the list since Fall of last year) I like my therapist, although I was ugly sobbing (and snotting) at my first session

July rolls around, still in therapy, starting to feel better, but therapy is work, and it seems like after every session I have extreme panic attacks, so after talking it out I decided to get on medication (I walked into my first session absolutely knowing that I didn’t want to on any kind of medicine…. I felt like it was the “easy way” out. But when you it gets to the point because you have to pull over on the freeway because you’re on the verge of passing out from your panic attack you realize that need a little more help. This is honestly one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I’m thinking about things and people that I purposely buried because I didn’t want to deal with them, What I though were quirky Tyra traits were actually Social and Generalized Anxiety Disorder…. around my third session I told my therapist that I wasn’t sure if I was gonna like the new person I was gonna because. Because I don’t know how not to be easy going, it’s difficult for me to just be calm and let things roll off of me…. I need to know the when, why, what, where’s or every situation…but despite the fear, I am willing to put in the work, it’s time.

And while you’re dealing with your own personal shit , real life happens… and boy did it! My aunt fell and broke up hip while trying to get out of the bed, while she was hospitalized they found lesions on her bones (with my limited medical knowledge I assumed she had Multiple Myeloma like me) turns out the origin of her cancer was not her bones, it was her throat and had spread to her bones and kidneys, naturally this devastated the family and we immediately went into action on the best way to care for her. She’s doing extremely well despite her diagnosis of soft tissue carcinoma. And she very realistic about her options, she has since gone through radiation, and has declined to do chemotherapy, she fells the chemo will harm her more than the cancer, at 78 she wants to live her life. I recently told her that I wanted her on this Earth as long as God intended her to be, but at the same time I don’t want her to be in pain. What’s the point of living when your quality of life is poor? While dealing with this I was actually dealing with the prospect of being a guardian to a 5 year old. His home life was less that ideal and the family wanted to step in before DCHS did. So I began working really hard getting myself and my environment together.  After having several lengthy conversations with the mother and the grandmother it seems settled that M will come and live with me. I start to wonder if I’m doing the right thing, I fear that raising this child will due more damage than good, I don’t know the first thing about being a parent, what if I screw this kid up and he hates me forever? In the end I realize that this is about him, and providing him a safe, stable, loving environment where he can thrive, I can do that, and everything else will just have to be taken one step at a time..

August is finally here. I realize that the summer is nearly over and I’ve done nothing….Things are really progressing with the guardianship situation, my goal was the get him and his siblings back to Chicago before school starts at the end of the month. I even got to the point where I was going to humble myself and ask my estranged father to bring them to Chicago (he comes every August, and he has to pass through where the kids were 13925038_10154629475790995_5351704663105988111_nliving, I didn’t feel like it would be a huge burden and I knew despite our relationship that he would do this for me. He would see it as a way of “getting in good” with me. Honestly thing are going pretty well, things seem to really falling in place, and just when I thought things couldn’t get better. Weighing in at nearly 10 pounds and 21 inches long showing his immediate displeasure with the word and making his Aunt Tyra extremely happy; Tyson Daniel made his entrance into the world, and because his very first baby picture was epic. I had to make him a meme. From the moment he was born I felt like he was meant to be in this family, everyone loves him. And he’s just perfect (naturally I’m biased) but he’s just a little doll)

Needless to say that joy was short lived, cause shit always happens. Eventually M did come back to Chicago, not with my father, but my plane due to his grandmother/my aunt. Long story short. M is not living with her, after she said numerous times that she could no longer care for them, after she sent them back to live their mother because, “this isn’t her job” after saying repeatedly that she wanted her life back. Not only does she have M, but his 5 siblings as well. M  was told by him mother that he was coming to live with me, we were all expecting it. But in the end I realized that a lot of people have their hands in the pot, a lot of people were doing under handed things, and in the end a lot of people got burned. I’m hurt and saddened by the situation, II;’m pissed off my the complete and total underhandedness of certain family members. Now I’m asked to take side and do underhandedness to get him back. I wont do it. I can’t as I told M’s mother when she wanted to get me her newborn when I was in grad school, “The only way I would ever take your child is for you to do it legally and sign the papers” in the end she failed to do it. And there is nothing for me to do but wipe my hands clean of the situation and move on with me life.

How the hell did September come so fast,  better question how is it almost over… SHIT!! It’s time for my step-dads knee replacement surgery. What was supposed to be a routine surgery with a 3 day stay turned into,  severe memory loss, him requiring a sitter in his hospital room, near kidney failure, a stay in ICU, then a stay in a rehabilitation unit.. Back and forth to the hospital was my schedule then it became. Tyra’s appointment, going to my aunts house, Going to my parents house and taking him to therapy and doctors appointments, skipping dinner and in bed my 7pm…. several times a week. I was exhausted, there was no way I was gonna start writing. My “me” time consisted of sleeping. Then one day I came up with this amazing idea to run away for the weekend to Clarksville, IN…what’s in Clarksville you might ask? TYSON!!! Seriously he changes every week and although the scowl is gone it been replaced with the most completive look ever… So now I have to go at least once a month to get my dose of baby.

Tyson Collage

One of the things that I talk about was the blog, and how I missed it. She begin talking about short term and long term goals, so getting back to the blog is a short term goals, and that gave me the extra push I needed to come back, but I honestly felt that I should explain why I was gone for 5 months. Will you accept me? Will you still read what I write about? Only time will tell, but thank you for being so patient with me.

A little bruised, but still here

With all my love,

tyra2_thumb2

Copyright © 2016– Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

Nerves

Writing

 

Two weeks is a long time to be “radio silent” but unfortunately I was in apparently I have (its getting much better) a pinched never and it was extremely painful. My back and neck where in immense pain and my arms and legs were numb 80% of the time. Sitting up and holding my head up felt like it was too much, so I spent the majority of the time in bed, and drugged out of my mind. When I was awake I knitted, and while I was knitting I was either super pissy or on the verge of tears. Two weeks is too long to be awake from my blog and even though I’m not 100% I’m back!  So let’s get started with this prompt for today!

Writing Prompt: Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.(Nerve)

nerve-damage-information

 

So I guess this will be a continuation of what I was writing about before… something that I realized while dealing with this pinched nerve is that I have a higher pain tolerance than what people expect, guess that’s what happens when you are chronically ill person who experiences what I call a low buzz of pain on the  daily basis, it’s really got to be something for me to be considered “in pain”. Nerves are a funny thing, the real ones and the imaginary ones too, cause while the ones in my body where going haywire, my “imaginary nerves were going bonkers are well… cause everyone was getting on them..

My cat got on my last nerves, she wanted to lay on me, which I know she was probably trying to be comforting, but she only made me hurt more, and because I couldn’t ‘t get comfortable, even high as a kite on pain meds I would be up all night tossing and turning, while she’s laying in the middle of my bed, belly up to the sky, knocked out like it was the best sleep ever. My brother got on my nerves, because just when I would fall asleep, it would be the time that he would turn his anime up loud and it would wake me up…..

One thing I did learn the past two weeks, pain makes you humble. As I laid in my bed and thought about all the things I couldn’t do I realized that the my brother and my cat.. they annoyed the hell out of me, but they were there, My brother would run to my room when I was crying because I needed to get out of bed to pee, and my cat escorted me to the bathroom each and every time, waited for me, walked me back to my bed, then waited until I was settled to lay next to me.

So my take away for the past two weeks is NERVES, real or imaginary will get you every time.

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Until Next Time,

tyra2_thumb2

 

Copyright © 2016– Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved