Tyra Vs. Dating : This is Scary As F*@k

Writing

 

Let’s be honest this dating thing is hard, we’ll hard for me. I’m not one of those people that can walk up to some and say, “hi, you’re very attractive, would you like to go out sometimes”…. I’m the awkward turtle that’s sitting in a protective bubble with her friends stealing glances at the attractive guy already knowing he’s got a girl friend, and a side chick. So let’s suppose attractive guy walks up to me…I’m assuming  “I’m in his way” or he needs directions to the bathroom.
Imagine this, I your infrequent blogger did two things, signed up for a “single and ready to mingle” group on Facebook, talked to some people, got a teeny bit of confidence and created an online dating profile. So after speaking to several people I narrowed it down to Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel . I stressed about the profile them tried to find the best picture of myself. Only to find out they ask you a series of questions and you answer them, and they curate the last 5 profile pics off of Facebook, so I guess that males it less likely to get “catfished”. I specified my age range, distance, and race and left it to God; I figured at this point I would be luck to get even 1 hit after a few months. I had already decided that I would deal with this humiliation for 3 months, I would delete the app and I would never speak of this incident again….So imagine my shock and by shock I mean I nearly pissed myself when I had 6 seemingly normal men interested in me. I seriously thought I was being punked….there is no way these men are real.

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So because of the nature of the app men so interest then I make the final decision.

So whho are the bachelors?

 

So after the first 6 I picked one person, let’s call him Bachelor D. Bachelor D (white male) is a teacher, who likes festivals, exploring the city and plays upright bass. Out of the send six I picked Bachelor Y (black male ) Has lived in 4 courtiers, works in pharmaceuticals, is a bit of an introvert , and loves museums. And finally we have Bachelor B (white male) who’s a bit shy, but lives life to the fullest, but avid sports fan. So then the chatting began. Like the first time talking to someone it’s sort of weird and awkward and your not sure what to do;  so naturally I go with the standard, “Hi, how are you”…. they reply and it’s awkward again… back and forth we go for a week then the app tells me , your chatting time is up, would you like to extend your time, but here’s the kicker….you both have to agree, I sort of felt obligated to keep taking to Bachelor D even though there wasn’t a spark considering he looked great on paper, so I pressed the continue button for him and for Bachelor Y who seemed invested in the conversation. So I picked yes for both.

Bachelor D…was like no thanks….and I was pleasantly surprised that Bachelor Y said yes….I was shocked….so what do I do?  I still can’t believe it…. I asked Bachelor Y, “Do you think you would be interested in meting for coffee?” And naturally I freaked out again and refused to open my app for two days. I’m freaking out because I just asked some man I do not know out on a date (I think) What if he says no? Hell, what if he says yes? I haven’t dated in like 5 years…out of practice doesn’t even describe my current situation. How does one coffee date? What the hell would I say? Jesus now what?

After a few days I reopen the app and I see Bachelor B, he seems quirky and awkward….maybe we can be awkward together and not say much. This dude loves sports. One if the first question s he asked was, “what sports are you into”  I explained that I prefer to watch in person, I get bored watching sports on TV. But the ones I like to watch on TV are swimming, tennis and figure skating”…. Bachelor B wad yet to respond.

So after going back and forth with Bachelor Y, we will be meeting for coffee sometime next week.
Most of the people I know are in a relationship, so I only see couples together. none of them have ever said how scary dating if. In the past I have always been the passive person, the one who got asked out. And that worked our really well for me, when I put dating on my list of long term goals honestly I was thinking about 6 months to a year from now. And the idea of dating is exciting but it’s scary.

I’ve been saying for a long time that I’m not dating because  not ready, but I was rudely reminded by my mother that I’m never gonna be ready if I don’t get out there… another (and this is a big one for me; I’ve even told my therapist this who’s challenged me about this theory) I don’t feel like I have anything worthwhile to offer someone at this point, I would like to wait until I do. I’ve shared this with my mom who flat out told I wad being selfish (ouch, thanks a lot mom) and my step dad (who was a lot kinder) and told me just because I don’t think it’s worthwhile doesn’t mean my future partner wont.

So I’m keeping that in mind as I approach my coffee date. If it doesn’t work out that’s fine. I’ve meet an interesting person and if it does, then I’ve meet an interesting man who I get to go on another date with.

Shit, now I need to figure out what to wear….geez, this is never ending.

 

Until Next Time,

tyra2_thumb2

 

Copyright © 2016– Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

Flip Flop

 

 

Writing

 

Writing Prompt: Think of a topic or issue about which you’ve switched your opinion. Why the change?

 

pink_flip_flop

 

This one is really difficult for me because I’m one of those people who has an opinion and sticks to it… I’m rarely swayed about something, but one thing I have swayed on is the idea of plastic surgery. I was always felt like it was a cop out, people who can’t love and accept themselves get plastic surgery. I’ve gotten older (and hopefully a little wiser) and as a person who feels like you “it’s your body, do what you want”, that should apply to plastic surgery as well. People do it for all reasons, and if you want to give yourself a little tweek or a nip and tuck TREAT YO SELF….

And I guess depending on who you ask ?I would be considered a hypocrite if I was totally against plastic surgery….. especially considering I’ve had a breast reduction when I was 18 years old, because I was sick and tired of carry around two gallon boobs around, and yes eventually I was told that it was causing my back pain, and I had these horrible bruises on my shoulder because my boobs were so heavy, but honestly I had a breast reduction because wearing two or three bras just to feel secure was a pain, hating my body because my boobs were so big was even worst.

I wanted to look better and I knew that getting the surgery was the answer, I had been thinking about it since I was 15, and when I graduated high school and went off to college, I made an appointment with a plastic surgeon and went to the consultation alone without my mother’s consent (hell I was 18 technically I was an adult), my doctor refused to do the surgery unless I told my parent and they came in for a second consultation….. needless to say I told her my plans (at the time , she wasn’t really happy about it, I think that she was more worried than anything else, but she knew my desire to have the surgery so she went along with it)..needless to say I had the surgery, and I have never regretted my decision, and yes there was a change in the way I dressed and saw my body.

Long story short…. my high school logic  was it’s okay for me and not for anyone else because I was in a “dire situation”…. 30 year old Tyra thinks as long as you’re not hurting yourself… go ahead….

So yes I guess technically that would make me a flip-flopper

 

Until Next Time

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Copyright © 2015 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

An Extreme Tale

Writing

 

Writing Prompt: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” — Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

When was the last time that sentence accurately described your life?

Just because you asked I would say every damn day, but that would be me being overly dramatic; but seriously the last time I felt that was this past Thursday on Thanksgiving, I love the holidays, I’m very close with my family so I see them at least once a week, but holidays just reinforces that when you want to be around family and reflect and be thankful on all the things that  have happened in the past year, but  if you read this post it wouldn’t be all that shocking to know that this Thanksgiving was a bummer, I was really struggling with finding something to be Thankful for, I was on the verge or tears the entire day, and to be honest it’s been like that ever since.

Years from now I hope that looking back I’ll remember this particular Thanksgiving and remember despite the curveball that life sent my family, despite the grief and the sadness, I was able to find comfort and be thankful for the little things, and at the end of the day that’s what it’s really all about? So at the very core say it was the best of times, it was the worst of times is the only way that I can put it.

 

Until Next Time….

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Copyright © 2014 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

Calling Uncle Bob

Writing

 

Writing Prompt: Have you ever faced a difficult situation when you had to choose between sorting it out yourself, or asking someone else for an easy fix? What did you choose — and would you make the same choice today?

All the time, I think it might simply be part of the human condition. I’m am finding myself dealing with this very quandary at the moment. Very early yesterday morning I found out that my cousin died unexpectantly. It’s difficult to understand why someone in their 20’s who was seemly healthy would die just when their lives were beginning. I am a logical person, I have always prided myself on the how’s and why things work, and why they happen. I know what happens when a person has a seizure, I know how the body reacts, what can happen and what the outcomes are, I know the process of saying goodbye to a love one, I’ve done it more times than I care to mention, I know these things. The thing that I don’t know is why is it what I forget…. why do I forget that no matter how logical a person is in their every day, and I guess in a lot of ways that makes me slightly detached from the things around me, it makes me feel safe and I like to feel that way, I have chosen to be that way. But when things like this happen  emotion and grief make me highly illogical and I don’t know how to deal with anything. More than anything I wish someone would give me an easy fix, I wish someone would say this is the appropriate way to act and this is the most appropriate way to respond. I wish someone would say, “Girl we we’re joking” and things would go back to the way they were on Monday. I wish for a lot of things right now.

I apologize to my readers this was not the answer that I wanted to write to this prompt, but as most of you know you HAVE to write what you feel and not what you want.

For a lot of us tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and my wish for you is to be thankful for the friends and family that you have, enjoy the time together, makes memories; and remember those for don’t have homes, out friends and family to spend time with.

And to John I am thankful for the time that I spent with you and you will be forever be missed.

Until Next Time….

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Copyright © 2014 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

By Hand

Writing

 

Writing Prompt: What’s the best present you’ve ever received that was handmade by the giver, not store-bought? Tell us what made it so special

I love this time of the year, the holiday season is coming soon, it’s the time of the year that I do my most baking. Baking has always been a non-spoken tradition in my family around the holidays, and 90% of what we bake is given to others as gifts. And I think that they appreciate it. It’s been a long time since I’ve been given a handmade gift. But as a small child we spend 85% of our time making in art class making really ugly things for my parents like hand turkeys and things with yarn and pasta…. and every single time my mom always had a look like it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

About 5 years ago a friend’s mother was knitting, I mean she was knitting scarves and blankets and all sorts of neat things, and since I am a beginner crochet-er I asked her about what she was making and we talked about different techniques, and she presented my with the softest multi-colors scarf. I was shocked and surprised that she had given it to me; that she took time out of he schedule to think of me and make me something…. and I guess in a small way it made me feel special.

Now back to the hideous gifts that I used to make when I was younger. When I was in the second grade I made a green construction paper bell and I decorated it with glitter and placed a string on it… it became an ornament, for years my grand father placed it on his Christmas tree front and center, every Christmas it was there, when my grandmother died the Christmas tree didn’t come out, he was living in an smaller apartment then and there really was no room, and I never thought about that bell again, it wasn’t until he passed away when we were going through his things, I found that bell again… it’ was faded, pretty much all the glitter was gone, but it was still in tact. I thought that he threw it away years ago… and even though he stopped putting up his tree, he still kept it; like it was something special and priceless..

I always think about that bell during the holidays and something that seemed so small possibly meant so much to him, in the end it’s not about the money that you spend on the person, it’s the thought, care and time that you put into giving someone something that may make their day just a little bit brighter.

Until Next Time….

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Copyright © 2014 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved