Hindsight

Writing

 

Writing Prompt:

First Post September 9, 2011 “Why The Hell Am I Doing This? (I think at this point I had lost about 5 pounds)

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This is me… well virtual me at my current weight 279.6  I’m round, fluffy, basically I’m. fat! You know me, I’m the girl that scopes out the room to count the number of other fatties  .I have rolls where I don’t want them, my thighs rub together, people might mistake me for being pregnant… and when it get’s hot I sweat in places that a person should not sweat. You will not see me running, playing a sport, or wearing a bikini, I prefer to chillax in front of the TV and I do not own a Freak-em dress. I have not been accountable for the things I put in my mouth, I have not been accountable for my fitness…. but all of that changes TODAY! Today I officially ditch the BEFORE.

TODAY I become accountable! TODAY I change! TODAY I become the AFTER!!!!

Why AM I DOING THIS

  • I want to look better naked (don’t you want to look at yourself naked without pointing out every negative thing about your body?)
  • I want to be able to climb the stairs without being winded
  • I want my knees to stop hurting
  • I want to walk into a room without feeling like people are staring at me
  • I want to feel beautiful
  • I want to live longer!

December 29, 2011. Over 500 posts later…

This is me, well virtual me at my current weight of 211 pounds. There are times when I ask myself why the hell am I 2doing this? Let’s be honest I ask myself this every single day. but then I remember where I was in the beginning. I was unhappy and I was fat. Well before we start talking semantics I’m still fat… This blog originally started as a way for me to remain accountable for me weight loss, and for the most par it still is, but I’ve expanded it to things that I find interesting, or just when I feel like there is something I need to say, never in a million years did I still think that I would still be blogging and to be honest I can’t believe that I am still sticking to the whole weight loss thing. So many times I thought that I had it, and every single time I went about my business, lived my life and slowly the weight came back….

It has not been easy, and who ever says that it is a liar. I’ve had lots of set backs, I’ve loss a ton, gained it back, loss and gained again (now on the losing streak) I’ve met like minded people who have encouraged me and understand how difficult this is.

When I look at the virtual version of me, I feel like those weight watchers commercials you know the one where you talk to the past version of yourself. So many things are different.I still prefer chillaxing in front of the TV, and I do own a “freakum dress” I am not accountable of my fitness (and my food) I track and count calories, my activity tracker also helps, I have a gym membership and have gym equipment in my home (something that I never expected) but more importantly I am no  longer count the fatties in the room, while losing weight, I gained self confidence and now I know that my body is mine, it should never be compared to someone else, and no I look for people who are like minded and enjoy the same things that I do.

Am I the after? No, but something that I realized is that I will never be the after. I will always be a work in progress.

TODAY I will continue to be accountable, TODAY I will welcome the change, TODAY I continue to be a work in progress.

WHY I DID THIS

  • I want to look better naked (don’t you want to look at yourself naked without pointing out every negative thing about your body?)
  • I want to be able to climb the stairs without being winded
  • I want my knees to stop hurting
  • I want to feel beautiful
  • Despite my health issues I want to be able to fight off multiple myeloma and liver disease without having the overhanging obesity sign hangin’ over my head. I have enough going on, I would be pissed off if the reason I died was due to my weight (something that I can change)

Until Next Time….

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