Tyra vs. Dating: I’m A Nasty Woman

Writing

 

MISSING OBJECT REPORT
On October 19, 2016 at approx. 4pm. The victim contacted the authorities regarding missing glasses. The victim states that she last remembers them on her place, and doesn’t recall taking them off. She was alerted that they were missing when she could no longer clearly see the K-drama she was watching on Drama Fever (Scarlet Heart : Ryeo).
Luckily the victim has stated the she has a second pair of glasses (which she doesn’t like as much)  that she will wear until her beloved glasses are found.  It should also be known that the victim has a tendency of losing her iPod, glasses of cellophane (more often then not the victim is actually speaking on her cellphone when she exclaims, “Where the heck is my phone!” Any information regarding the safe return of the victim’s glasses would be greatly appreciated.

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So last night I was talking to a new guy Bachelor J (Hispanic male) straight off the bat, I like this dude is going me sexy Andy Garcia vibes… Blue color worker, seems like they kind of guy that could make me feel like a women, she tells me, “I’m a big guy, so I like my woman to have some “thickness to her” dude…. I’m your girl. I got more thickness that I currently want. So then I ask, “what would your family think if you brought a black girl home ?” (an important question when proceeding with any interracial relationship). “As long as I like her they don’t care, but it would be nice if they spoke a little Spanish since my ability speaks broken English”  Once again I’m silently pointing to myself cause true  story  currently learning French and Spanish on Duolingo…(Any day now you make Korean live, like seriously how long are you gonna test it?)

Nearly 3 hours we chatted. I was typing, ” we should totally meet for coffee” When the text, “so let me ask you something” Holy shit, here it comes, I promptly deleted my text and respond, “sure”. At this point I’m pretty sure he’s gonna ask me how I feel about threesomes, or tell me that he still lives with his baby momma and things are “complicated”. At this point I’m steeling myself this can’t me good…
Then he asks about about the election, more specifically who  voting for. DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER WILL ROBINSON…
Things I do not discuss, religion, and politics( both conversations tend to get nasty).  I do lie, I had no choice…I told him, “At this point I’m still undecided, I mean it’s a tough call” his response, “a tough call, are you serious there’s only one choice (PLEASE SAY CLINTON, PLEASE, PLEASE SAY CLINTON) Trump”
One word, one fucking word and my sexy Andy Garcia dreams vanished….I gotta end this conversation NOW.
Then I thought, this dude is punking me so I ask, Are you okay voting for a man who disparages Hispanics and an immigrant families, especially considering you come from an immigrant family?” His response, ” Your family are immigrants too, and it seems like you don’t like him. Plus I’m not that kind of immigrant” I need a moment, cause I’m trying to see what the hell is going on. Should I just peace the fuck out, or should I nope….I’m in too deep. I’m need to end this conversation in the classiest and most lady-like” way..
“First off you ignorant dipshit, you can’t call people who were forcibly brought to this country against their own will immigrants….I think the correct term is slaves. Did you not tell me your family left Mexico so that you and your siblings could have better opportunities than they had… sounds exactly like the kind of immigrants Donald Trump was thinking of. YOU brought up politics, even when I told you I didn’t want to talk about it.”
His response to my tirade, “You’re a stupid bitch!”
“Oh my God, thank you for the compliment, it’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all day”
Now, he’s mad, “Go to hell!” , and because I ALWAYS have to have the latest word, “Sure, I’ll meet you there!”
Slightly amused and horrified I close the app and go to bed. Today this morning around 6am I got a notification…. from Bachelor J. “I think we got off on the wrong foot last night” Is this dude serious, did I hallucinate that entire conversation….I need to scroll and reread the conversation…nope, just as I remembered.
“No, I don’t think we did”, and then proceed to block the fucker.

So the moral of this story…. I’m a nasty woman…
Ugh….dating…

Until Next Time,

tyra2_thumb2

 

Copyright © 2016– Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

Tyra Vs. Dating : This is Scary As F*@k

Writing

 

Let’s be honest this dating thing is hard, we’ll hard for me. I’m not one of those people that can walk up to some and say, “hi, you’re very attractive, would you like to go out sometimes”…. I’m the awkward turtle that’s sitting in a protective bubble with her friends stealing glances at the attractive guy already knowing he’s got a girl friend, and a side chick. So let’s suppose attractive guy walks up to me…I’m assuming  “I’m in his way” or he needs directions to the bathroom.
Imagine this, I your infrequent blogger did two things, signed up for a “single and ready to mingle” group on Facebook, talked to some people, got a teeny bit of confidence and created an online dating profile. So after speaking to several people I narrowed it down to Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel . I stressed about the profile them tried to find the best picture of myself. Only to find out they ask you a series of questions and you answer them, and they curate the last 5 profile pics off of Facebook, so I guess that males it less likely to get “catfished”. I specified my age range, distance, and race and left it to God; I figured at this point I would be luck to get even 1 hit after a few months. I had already decided that I would deal with this humiliation for 3 months, I would delete the app and I would never speak of this incident again….So imagine my shock and by shock I mean I nearly pissed myself when I had 6 seemingly normal men interested in me. I seriously thought I was being punked….there is no way these men are real.

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So because of the nature of the app men so interest then I make the final decision.

So whho are the bachelors?

 

So after the first 6 I picked one person, let’s call him Bachelor D. Bachelor D (white male) is a teacher, who likes festivals, exploring the city and plays upright bass. Out of the send six I picked Bachelor Y (black male ) Has lived in 4 courtiers, works in pharmaceuticals, is a bit of an introvert , and loves museums. And finally we have Bachelor B (white male) who’s a bit shy, but lives life to the fullest, but avid sports fan. So then the chatting began. Like the first time talking to someone it’s sort of weird and awkward and your not sure what to do;  so naturally I go with the standard, “Hi, how are you”…. they reply and it’s awkward again… back and forth we go for a week then the app tells me , your chatting time is up, would you like to extend your time, but here’s the kicker….you both have to agree, I sort of felt obligated to keep taking to Bachelor D even though there wasn’t a spark considering he looked great on paper, so I pressed the continue button for him and for Bachelor Y who seemed invested in the conversation. So I picked yes for both.

Bachelor D…was like no thanks….and I was pleasantly surprised that Bachelor Y said yes….I was shocked….so what do I do?  I still can’t believe it…. I asked Bachelor Y, “Do you think you would be interested in meting for coffee?” And naturally I freaked out again and refused to open my app for two days. I’m freaking out because I just asked some man I do not know out on a date (I think) What if he says no? Hell, what if he says yes? I haven’t dated in like 5 years…out of practice doesn’t even describe my current situation. How does one coffee date? What the hell would I say? Jesus now what?

After a few days I reopen the app and I see Bachelor B, he seems quirky and awkward….maybe we can be awkward together and not say much. This dude loves sports. One if the first question s he asked was, “what sports are you into”  I explained that I prefer to watch in person, I get bored watching sports on TV. But the ones I like to watch on TV are swimming, tennis and figure skating”…. Bachelor B wad yet to respond.

So after going back and forth with Bachelor Y, we will be meeting for coffee sometime next week.
Most of the people I know are in a relationship, so I only see couples together. none of them have ever said how scary dating if. In the past I have always been the passive person, the one who got asked out. And that worked our really well for me, when I put dating on my list of long term goals honestly I was thinking about 6 months to a year from now. And the idea of dating is exciting but it’s scary.

I’ve been saying for a long time that I’m not dating because  not ready, but I was rudely reminded by my mother that I’m never gonna be ready if I don’t get out there… another (and this is a big one for me; I’ve even told my therapist this who’s challenged me about this theory) I don’t feel like I have anything worthwhile to offer someone at this point, I would like to wait until I do. I’ve shared this with my mom who flat out told I wad being selfish (ouch, thanks a lot mom) and my step dad (who was a lot kinder) and told me just because I don’t think it’s worthwhile doesn’t mean my future partner wont.

So I’m keeping that in mind as I approach my coffee date. If it doesn’t work out that’s fine. I’ve meet an interesting person and if it does, then I’ve meet an interesting man who I get to go on another date with.

Shit, now I need to figure out what to wear….geez, this is never ending.

 

Until Next Time,

tyra2_thumb2

 

Copyright © 2016– Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

Never Again

Writing

 

Writing Prompt: Have you ever gone to a new place or tried a new experience and thought to yourself, “I’m never doing that again!” Tell us about it.

 

 

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My  new experience is dating an ex….

Let’s start off with the obvious, there was a reason why he’s was an ex to being with. But honestly I was really in a bad place, I was coming off of my second liver transplant,  there were a lot of things medically wrong with my, my family was scattered about and I think that I was looking to … honestly I don’t know what I was doing, he was there, I was lonely .. it was convenient.. and then it wasn’t

It wasn’t a new experience, but I made myself believe that it was, and in the end things worked out the way that they did before, he’s my ex…again, except this time I can clearly say NEVER AGAIN. Sometimes being older and wiser and having more life experience doesn’t always mean that things will work out for the better; in our case things fizzled and came to a nasty head…. to the point where we don’t even speak to each other (at least the first time around we were cordial when we were around our mutual friends, and we would occasionally talk on the phone).

And like all lesson’s, you learn and you move on. At the end of the day I’m grateful to have had that experience, I learned that just because you care about someone doesn’t mean that a relationship doesn’t always work out, and sometimes leaving the past in the past is best for all parties involved. But most importantly I left that relationship with a better understanding about myself, and what I DESERVE in my next relationship.

Until Next Time,

tyra signature

Copyright © 2016– Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved