Secret

Writing

 

 

 

Writing Prompt: Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt

This was  supposed to be posted yesterday, but like all things life got in the way, so it will be posted today…..

 

 

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The idea  for the post came because a few nights ago I was listening to The Stuff of Life Podcast … that week the topic was Life at the Death. Café. I found listening to the personal stories touching and poignant…. which led me to revel this secret:
I am no longer afraid of dying. Who ever reads this will no and it will no longer be a secret. Maybe I should go back a little…..
I think as a child, we all have a fear of death a fear of being away from everything that we know. It’s not a concept that’s easy to understand…sometimes they get over it sometimes they don’t….I didn’t. (I once had a friend who’s family had a funeral home, so death was a daily part of his life, it was something he accepted early, and as an adult is super nonchalant about the entire idea) My fear of death got worst when I was 18 and officially diagnosed with Autoimmune Hepatitis and was told that the damaged to my liver was irreversible and I needed to have a transplant. The idea that in order for me to live, someone had to die…honestly that messed me up big time. And for a long time…up until a year after my second transplant that named at me.  Was I going to be able to live my life in a manner that honored my donor and her family..
I waited 9 months for my first liver. By accounts that was a pretty short time according to transplant standards. For a while I just felt sick and death was not something I thought about. I was working and going to school….then my cousin died all of the sudden, he died at home and I was devastated. He was on the transplant list, he was waiting for a heart…but like many people on the list he died before he got the call.
Dealing with his death compounded with waiting for my call made me wonder if I was going l to live to see my transplant.
When  I got the call, it was just me and my mom ; me on the OR table and her I’m the waiting room. (We didn’t know this until years later) But we both said prayers, asking for someone to be with the other si they wouldn’t feel alone). The last thing I remember before the drugs took me off to sleepy land was seeing my grandmother and my cousin standing over my bed…smiling at me. I would like to think they were both there watching over us that night.
I survived my transplant, and at 19 I had a lot of life to live, I felt like I beat death, and I no longer feared it.
Fast forward to 30 and I am seriously ill, in and out of comas my body had gone haywire, and I’m sitting in a Las Vegas hospital for about a month now and it occurred to me, no one was talking to me about what was happening to me, they were always talking to my mother (who hadn’t left me side since Id been admitted, she slept on the couch next to me every single day) When ever I was awake and sort of lucid, the people around me would whisper, I knew…. I just knew that I was dying. It’s weird to describe the moment when you realize that you body is shutting down and it trying to let go, and honestly if I wasn’t so afraid and had accepted my fate I probably would have died in that hospital. Without sounding dramatic I felt Death coming, almost like he was sitting outside of my hospital door peeking in on me…. after being in the hospital for about a month, one night I asked my mom if she would take me outside.

When went to the healing garden that the hospital had and just sat there quietly. Everything hit me at once…everything seemed stronger, the smell of the flowers seemed stronger. The breeze felt stronger… the city lights were brighter… mom walked away a few feet to take a phone call.. sitting outside that I night I decided that I was ready… just like that. No pretense no nothing. I was getting worst… if it was my time to go it was my time. the only things I wanted was to die alone. I knew that it would be difficult to know that I was dying, I just didn’t want my mom to see it happen, I wanted to spare her as much pain as possible… it was the very least I could do….. as soon as that thought left my head I heard it.

Whispers, someone was whispering….then a whole group of people . All of the sudden, and for the first time I fell ill ,I felt calm, and comforted… the whispering got more intense, almost like it was surrounding me in stereo, I glanced at my mom, to see if she was hearing it…. she was still on the phone chatting…. as if nothing was wrong…. this went on for like 20 minutes…. Then it just stopped like nothing ever happened.

A few days later things started to turn around…. my numbers improved and I was stable enough to be transported across the country to my transplant center. I was strong enough to eventually have my second transplant and survive to tell this tale.

 

Now lets be honest, I was suffering from  Hepatic Encephalopathy all of that could have been cause from that. My sudden turn around could have been cause my modern medicine…. who knows… but the end result was the same. I came to accept my mortality. And although I don’t welcome death, I know it’s somewhere around still peeking around the corner. I know that my life isn’t guaranteed, and any day I can go; and I’m at peace with that. I have tried to live my life in a manner where I feel like I’ve left an imprint (although small) on the world. My entire goal was to touch just once person’s life in a positive way…and I think I’ve done that…..

 

 

Until Next Time,

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Copyright © 2016– Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

Quote Me

Writing

 

 

Writing Prompt: Do you have a favorite quote that you return to again and again? What is it, and why does it move you?

 

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There are three that come to mind. And all of them come from movies…

 

 

The first one is “Eat The Cake Anna Mae”. Here’s the thing I’m the kick of person who considers herself a tad adventurous, over the years I’m encompassed the motto, I’ll try anything once ….but that’s only for food, my mother isn’t the same… she like what she likes and she’s not gonna go any further than that…. new food is like a stranger to her, she doesn’t trust it, and she need a good recommendation for at least 3 people she trusts before she tries it. Case in point… Yesterday we were at World Market and I purchased Red Bean Mochi, which I got because I thought the taste would be a bit more familiar to her than Taro. Now when we were in the store she actually asked to try them…. then she asked again when we got back to her house…. she tried it… and spit it out…. more than likely it was the texture, it can be a bit off putting your first time. I asked her to try it again…. and refused… I asked a bit more strongly…. I picked up the Mochi and said, “Eat The Cake Anna Mae” ,she refused again…. Fine, you wasted a perfectly good Mochi! More for me!!!!

 

The second one is , “He Don’t Eat No Meat?!…..That’s okay, we’ll have Lamb”. I quote this movie every single day, and I’m beyond excited that there is a sequel coming out soon…

I am not a vegetarian, but I don’t eat a lot of meat, ever since my liver transplant it seems like my stomach has a had time processing meat, so I don’t eat it that often….usually around the holidays my mom will call my brother and ask my brother and I if there is anything special we would like to have. I’m usually, “Whatever you make is fine” because if there is something that I don’t like I simply won’t eat it… I usually eat the sides anyway… or things that don’t have meat in them. This year I was craving lasagna (my mom only makes it around Christmas time) and my brother always asks for it…. so this year I requested a meat-less version…. if you read the above paragraph then you know not only was the request shocking, I think it nearly friend her brain….. needless to say we had lasagna with meat in it….. but in my mother defense you did what she felt was a compromise and used Italian sausage instead….. riiiiigggghhhhhtttt.

 

 

One the rare occasion that I’m out shopping (I prefer online… because I find looking for clothes both frustrating and tiring) and I find something that I like, but after closer inspection it’s not what I thought it was I will usually say, “It’s not even real leather!” Which in my world means, Why the hell am I gonna pay all this money for this crap…..

See really you can use a quote in everyday life……and just add them into everyday conversation and most people won’t even know the y came from movies

 

Until Next Time,

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Copyright © 2016– Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

Coming To a Bookshelf Near You

Writing

 

 

Writing Prompt: Write a summary of the book you’ve always wanted to write for the back cover of its dust jacket.

 

The Pact Book Cover

 

(This was my NaNoWriMo 2014 Project, to date I’m  still writing it …. my muse, she’s a fickle bitch who only appears once every few months)

 

“How many times have friends said, “If we are both still single by the time we turn 33 then we should make a pact to marry each other.” Even at a young age Roxanne never wanted to marry, as a joke Roxanne and her friend Caleb decided if either weren’t married or in serious relationship by the time they were 30 they have a baby together” Being the practical one Roxanne insisted that insemination was the only option, while Caleb wanted it to happen the “natural way”.

14 years have passed since the pact was made Roxanne is a successful lifestyle blogger while Caleb is a pediatrician in the small town they grew up in. What happens when they meet up again at the wedding of a mutual friend and Caleb reminds her of the pact? At 35 Roxanne feels like time if running out for her to have a baby.Is Roxanne brave enough to go through with it? Is it possible for her to have a baby with Caleb without falling in love with him?”

 

Until Next Time

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Copyright © 2015 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

Upturned Noses

Writing

Writing Prompt: Even the most laid back and egalitarian among us can be insufferable snobs when it comes to coffee, music, cars, beer, or any other pet obsession where things have to be just so. What are you snobbish about?

halloweenFor the most part I’m pretty laid back, you get to a point in your life and when you really don’t sweat the small stuff, but I will admit that I’m a tiny bit snobbish when it comes to my cat Tsuki. After my cat Elmo passed away I knew that I wanted another cat, but I needed to give myself and my brother time. I don’t know what it was but I knew that I wanted a black cat, I knew that people tend to have certain feeling about black cats; they’re bad luck… they aren’t as cute as other cats, blah, blah, blah, but I also know they black cats have extremely low adoption rates, and I felt like I needed my feline buddy to be an underdog like me…. needless to say that when we meet it was love at first sight.

 

Now because Tsuki is completely black she needs something to stand out, and since pink is my favorite color, it’s tsukipinkHER favorite color too.. everything she has is pink, collar (pink and glittery), blankets, favorite toys, cat carrier… hell even the blankets on my bed coordinate with her “must wear” colors. Now while I have my own obsessions regarding Tsuki, she has her own special obsessions… for example, Tsuki plays fetch, but it has to be a certain type of ball. When I first adopted her, her foster gave me her fetch ball… she instantly lost it…. I searched high and low all over the internet  for this certain type of ball, I couldn’t find it anywhere. I finally found it at Pet Smart, but they were like 5 bucks for 4… Then they stopped carrying them… needless to say I found them at the Dollar Store (I should have looked there at first)… but she loves them, she loves them so much that when she’s not playing with them (and losing them in various place in my house) there at least 4 in my bed… because she likes to have something to play with when I’m sleeping *blank stare*. So I guess we both have our special idiosyncrasies.

And just this moment, I realized that I just spent this entire prompt talking about my cat…. Yep, my name is Tyra and I am officially the crazy cat lady, who’s cat has her own Instagram .

Until Next Time….

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The Great Divide

Writing

 

Writing Prompt: When reading for fun, do you usually choose fiction or non-fiction? Do you have an idea why you prefer one over the other?

First of all I love books, and I love reading, I think that people should read what moves them. But I think that non-fiction forces the reader to use critical thinking, while fiction allows the user to use their creativity. Reading enables the mind to think over objects of interest, which enable a person in making informed decisions, its food for the soul, for it nourishes the human intellect in probing things deeper, analyzing things, and provide guidance to people, to instances they have not yet been exposed to life.

I spent a LOT of time in school. And I spent more time than I wanted reading in college and in grad school… so back then when I wanted to relax I gravitated towards fiction…romances in particular…. there is nothing more satisfying that getting lost in a story, and being able to read it until the story was done (as is the case when I read a Harlequin Romance).  As I’ve gotten older my tastes have changed a bit, I still love a good romance story, but I’m open to a lot more genres… I always tell people that a good makes me want to either curse out the author or give them a hug (Okay that’s not true… I read 50 Shades of Grey, and I REALLY wanted to smack E.L. James because the story was so poorly edited and her character Anastasia  was so cringe worthy I used wanted to scream, “are you seriously that damn stupid!” and that story was really not all that great). Lately I’ve been reading a lot of books about American History and Biographies on Monarchs of Europe..who knows what I’ll be reading in the net few weeks…. there are so many books, and so little time.

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Until Next Time….

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Copyright © 2014 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved