What The F*ck? – TOWIE Ep. 12

We have finally reached the end!! So much unnecessary drama…another round of foolishness and f*ckery from my favorite overly tan, overly inflated Brits. So for those  two people who actually read my TOWIE posts these are for you..  Season 12 posts can be found here: 1-45-6 , 7, 8 , 9 , 10 and 11. This post photos are courtesy of Holy Moly

The last episode everyone was talking about either Arg or the Wedding, oh and there was a party…

Episode 12 “FINALE – Thank God!”

Arg finally get’s to meet baby Nellie. he looks rather cute with the baby and the parasol… aITV_t_TOWIEb073114nd first glance I? thought that it was Billie and her fiancée… Arg is getting baby fever and things he would be a good dad to her cubby babies who he would knick name Tum-Tum. Poor Arg has been a little down, between the issues with Lydia and things with the Wrights… it’s a lot right now. Billie asks Nellie if he can get Lydia back… naturally she  doesn’t answer.

Having Malts, Gemma, Bobby, Ferne and Charlie, Bobby feels like Danny Zucko, I’m a bit confused… doesn’t his hair always look like that? Apparently there is a 50’s style  fun fair… which means it’s a good time to bring out the leathers… Gemma is still looking for a man.  Carole (last post I added an e…. sorry) Jessica, Debbi and Lydia are also preparing for the party… I would ask why these moms always party with their daughters bit momentarily I forgot what I was watching… apparently there will be more than one Danny Zucko there. Jessica get’s a text from Leah, her honeymoon is over and she’s ready to talk…Leah’s going to the fun fair and it should be a good time for all. Naturally they are still talking about the wedding and apparently Carol doesn’t appreciate that Chloe is talking about it as Carol says, “She’s not family” I’m having a bit of déjà vu… this is the same crap she said about Ricky last season… it might be time for someone to tell Carole to stay in her damn lane….

Over at Chloe’s (the salon)  Danni and Georgia  are getting their hair done and taking about the Fifty Shades of Gray trailer. Apparently Danni likes to hear about people’s sex lives., Chloe would never want to be tied up, but Georgia thinks that Grace totally would, they hash up all the issues with Grace accusing Fran of cheating with her ex.

Lewis and Lauren are on the screen, I’m super bored. Lauren says that Danni is twisting the truth… I’m confused, maybe I missed something because I felt like Danni was very clear about her feelings, and honestly Lewis needs to shut the f*ck up… he wasn’t even there to witness the argument he should not be commenting on anything…. I’m done with those two. I swear Lauren has said “like” at least 50 times in this conversation…. so annoying.

Lydia is wavering back and forth with the Arg situation…and like always she cries… I am so over this. On her way home Lydia calls Arg (who is making a massive sandwich) feels like it was a good idea to talk to him and talk before they see each other that evening because she doesn’t want it to be awkward between the two of them. I’m happy that they were able to have a grown up conversation.

The Sugar Hut… Chloe and Elliot are having cITV_t_TOWIEg073114offee, and Jessica walks in to let them know that Leah called, Chloe is watching and keeping quiet.. once again Jessica is making excuses for her mother’s bad behavior… how about this apologize to Leah..I’m confused about how Carole and Jess knew about the conversation that Chloe had with her brother… maybe they saw it on television.

God… Grace is on the screen.. and because she has absolutely nothing to talk about she’s still talking about Georgia and Fran… does this girl have other friends? And once again Lewis is getting in the girl’s business…. I seriously think that this will fall back on him and bite him in his ass. Grace vows to continue to give as good as she gets (it). If Grace has proof why hasn’t she shown it and shut this nonsense down… then non of this would be happening….

I saw the Tarot cards, and instantly knew that Gemma was seeing a psychic again… this time it’s George Valentino, Bobby is there to give her a bit of support… there is a man in her future, and love will defiantly blossom for her.

Grease is the word…. and holy crap this is probably the best party ever…seriously. It looks just like a scene out of the movie..everyone looks fantastic, the amount of gel the guys are wearing is astounding.  Charlie and Chloe are having a conversation by the strong man and Ferne comes over with cotton candy, she apologizes for not talking to ITV_t_TOWIEm073114Chloe the other night. It looks like the girls are ready to move on and rebuild their relationship… I’m sure Charlie is happy about this. Danni and Lockie are getting cotton candy and Lewis and Lauren with her best bitch face walk over… honestly I don’t know if it’s bitch face or too much Botox. The guys are good friends and they don’t want the girls to fight because it makes everything awkward…. okay, okay they have a point, but the girls didn’t come say one word to one another and just walked away… FYI: Lauren is officially Lewis’ girlfriend… and I officially don’t care (Mr. Sandman is playing in the background… and I’m nearly falling asleep). Lydia is waiting by the candy cart and Tom goes over to tell her his opinion and tells her that they are meant to be together.

There  montage of everyone eating, playing games and on the Ferris Wheel, but one thing that I couldn’t ignore was that kiss that Bobby laid on Dan…holy cow!! (hope Harry didn’t see that). Why is every time Grace is on the screen Lewis is right by her side… clearly he’s the only friend that she has left… but  here comes the mean girls  Tom, FranITV_t_TOWIEn073114 and Georgia and Diags. Georgia is really annoyed of everyone calling her a liar… they talk about the pictures and Diags is over the entire situation… and walks away.

I’m loving Ricky lately… he;s so cute… he and Chloe are talking and he tells her that she should go talk to Carole, but the way that he says it in a the high pitched sing-song voice is hilarious. Ricky is breaking his rule (and not keeping his mouth closed) and he tells her that Carol is pissed off with her.And Carole, Jessica and Elliot are literally 6 feet away…. they should totally go say hi. Greasiness must run in the family,  because here comes Leah ready to confront her aunt and her cousin, once again the blame goes back to Arg, and Carol has not once admitted he part in the situation, Elliot makes his aunt apologize to Leah and Carol looks seriously hesitant… like What The F*ck Carol?

BARRY!! And their nice with each other… maybe they can’t be together, but maybe they can be friends again. They look over and Gemma is chatting with a man…. they look intrigued, but Gemma wasn’t;t impressed.. apparently he was too short and he has kids…

Arg and Lydia finally have a moment alone. Arg admits that he should have bee completely honest with her. He’s seriously nervous and he says, “I’m still the person you fell in love with, just a better version.”  so for the third time he gives Lydia her shoes… because apparently she’s always loved Sex in the City…. but wait there is another  surprise. Arg takes a blindfolded Lydia across a bridge…he recounts the first time they told each other they loved each other, Arg breaks down in tears. He has someone sing their song, it’s very sweet and romantic..

Elliot pulls Chloe to the side and tells her that even though he wasn’t looking for he, he’s found it..he’s totally smitten with her and it’s good to see

The Grease Finale… with the song (FYI that was my senior song… who’s idea was that?)

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It was all very sweet but how long is this love affair gonna last? Guess we have to wait until next season to find out

Thoughts about the season 

Although he is a charming douche I did miss Mario, it would have been nice to see if the relationship between Mario and Charlie suffered due to the blink and you miss relationship with him and Chloe, and I would have loved to see who he would have tried to date this season. I will admit even though I tried to fight it I do like Chloe and Elliot together, I’m not sure if it was the pacing of the season, but things seem to be moving fast.. may with the two of them together they will ease up on the plastic surgery.

I don’t know what to think about the whole Chloe and Lauren (friendship) breakup. I will say what I said before, if you let some guy get in between your friendship… that says a lot about the strength of your friendship to begin with. Arg and Lydia… I’m just hoping that we don’t have to deal with the back and forth next season. I still think Jasmine and Dan should leave, it’s seriously time for some new blood, and maybe once and for all Grace will close her mouth

Even though they didn’t’ t have a lot of screen time I missed seeing Barry together, and hopefully now that Billie has had the baby maybe we can see more of her… at this point she’s the only person on this show with common sense.

Honesty this is the second season where I’ve had that love it or leave it mentality… I’ll give it one more season before I give up on it….

And naturally there was a finale party, where everyone showed off their finest plastic surgery and weaves.

What The F*ck ?–TOWIE Ep. 10

Is this show over yet? So much unnecessary drama…another round of foolishness and f*ckery from my favorite overly tan, overly inflated Brits. So for those  two people who actually read my TOWIE posts these are for you..  Season 12 posts can be found here: 1-45-6 , 7, 8 and 9. This post photos are courtesy of Holy Moly

Last episode Arg and Lydia had sex and Arg told everyone with the ability to hear. Billie introduced her baby to the world and Gemma broke down in tears… everyone else has drama (what else is new?)  At this point I’m exhausted, I’m so sick of all these recycled storylines…. but here we go to episode 8 10(See I don’t even know at this point)…. Leah’s Wedding…

Episode 10 “White Wedding”

Shopping makes everything okay… according to Vas and Lauren, honestly having a conversation like adults and saying, “I’m sorry” might work a little better, but then again, I have a tiny thread of common sense.

While most of the crew is in Spain, Bobby, Gemma and Ferne are having a sit down  and having tea… probably correctly assuming that there will be drama in Spain. At Eduardo’s the Wrights with Lydia and Chloe  are discussing the wedding and Leah has a bit of pre-wedding Jitters…. she doesn’t want people to look at her… here’s a tip, when you walk I have everyone to close ITV_t_TOWIEa072414their eyes until you get to the alter. I might be a little cynical here, but usually a woman’s wedding is one of the few times when a woman wants all eyes on here… I’m not saying that she doesn’t have pre-wedding jitters… but honestly… get the f*ck outta here… what was the point…While Leah is crying it’s literally too much for Elliot to take so he excuses himself to hang out with the guys. Chloe decides it’s a good time to get in good with the family and starts to gush about Elliot.(now don’t get me wrong I genuinely like Chloe and Elliot together) then the conversation goes to Lydia and Arg… Jess makes the assumption because there will be alcohol that sex will be happening ; although Lydia find the conversation a bit uncomfortable I frankly find the assumption valid.

Back in Essex Gemma admits that she had a bit of a break down, she says that it’s not about Arg.. she feels like she’s never gonna have a happy ending, and she feels like it’s game-over for her. So Gemma and Bobby decide to set Gemma up on a blind date. Gemma perks up immediately and proclaims, “I want Danny Dyer, I want Danny Dyer, he’s a geezer!” (I had to look him up, had no clue who he was… apparently he’s an actor on East Enders… I’m excited about this.

Vas wants to know the appropriate way to ask someone to be their boyfriend or girlfriend after the age of 14…. this is a very good question and I would seriously like to know… Lauren has a problem with Lewis telling people that they’ve slept together… I think that she might have a bit amnesia, isn’t that they way things happen on this show… seriously, What The F*ck Lauren? …

Obstacle course with a bit of army flair is on tap for Georgia, Tom, Diags and Fern (are Tom and Georgia dating? I think they would b cute together… and I honestly like to see when friends become more… )They seem to be having a good time. As they take a break and taking a break from the drama, they do the only sensible thing bring up the people who is the crux of the drama… Grace.  Apparently Fern called her ex and he said that he’s never ever heard of Grace before…even though the entire accusation about Fran cheating is ridiculous, I find the fact that she called her  hilarious… Tom feels that Grace is a shit starting, while I feel most of the people on this show could fall into that category. Grace has become the black hole of Essex.

ITV_t_TOWIEw072414At Café Essex what an originally name. Vas literally runs into Danni, and I honestly feel bad to Vas, it was like as soon as he saw Danni he looked like he was on the verge of tears. Vas apologized about the scum comment, Danni admitted that she was very angry and a but humiliated and she said some things that she probably shouldn’t have said. I think I said this in my last post that Vas was projecting a little bit, I’m glad that he was able to talk to Danni, and be able to set this matter at rest. I’m incredibly sad that Vas had to go through what he did, but I think that this is a start to a better relationship with Danni and Vas and maybe this incident will b the catalyst for Vas to get some help for things that have happened in the past…that was deep.

Back in Spain (man does this cast love Spain) Ricky, Eliot and Arg are drinking. Arg being the complete idiot that he is he admits that he left his suit back home and that caused Arg and Lydia to have an argument, but then the next day they fooled around. This seems par for the course for these two. Lydia says she’’ doesn’t want a relationship with him but sleep with him then they have this back and forth…

It’s time for the wedding and in the background they are playing one of my favorite songs (Christina Perri –  A Thousand Years) and instantly I’m like aww…the wedding was very pretty. Arg didn’t even attempt to buy a new suit. During the reception Elliot and Chloe are still on a wedding high, discussing the wedding. And I’m wondering if Elliot has always been that greasy, because he’s the only one sweating like a pig. Despite not having a suit Arg and Lydia are color coordinated very nicely. Arg wants a Essex wedding while Lydia would enjoy a hippie wedding with no makeup… as soon as Lydia said it… Arg instantly changed his mind and decided that’s the wedding he wants to. Lydia ITV_t_TOWIEm072414(while talking to Ricky and Jess) tells them that her and Arg aren’t gonna be together like they are now. Ricky thinks that she’s in love with him and she’s messing with his head, and in the end Arg is gonna end up deeply hurt…. for once I agree with Ricky. It’s time for the wedding toss…and naturally Chloe catches the bouquet… cause that wasn’t planned at all. Chloe and Elliot dance to Adele (the music is fantastic!) apparently they get to have a dance to themselves… man that family is really pushing to marry Elliot off. Elliot admits that he’s completely and totally in love with Chloe and Maddie ; it’s a sweet moment. But of course that feeling is gonna go to shit because Arg and Lydia is having a conversation. Arg is calling Lydia to task. apparently she’s a lot different in private than she is in public, she’s really upset that everyone knows every single aspect of their relationship because of Arg’s big fat mouth… things begin to escalate quickly. Arg apologizes but Lydia feels like they need to just be friends with no benefits… and I totally didn’t see that happening (said no one EVER!)

Back in Essex it looks like Ferne is cold calling for a blind date for Gemma, I’m not sure if this is sad or completely hilarious

I finally understand what a back, sack and crack is… Lockie is getting his hairy ass waxed…. no ITV_t_TOWIEn072414wonder he didn’t look to thrilled when he won a date with bobby… let’s be honest Lockie really needed it. Lauren goes to visit Lewis house and decides that his place isn’t as bachelor pad-ish as she thought that it was. Lauren wants to make sure that Lewis isn’t gonna go off and blab every time they have sex…  Doesn’t she know guys gossip just as bad as girls do.

Harry is helping Gemma get ready for her date. She doesn’t want to wear a jeweled caftan… and I don’t understand why… she wears them all the time. I wish that Gemma would realized that she should go into this with very little expectations and just to have a good time…

I swear I can spot Debbie’s hair from a mile away, and if she’s on the screen that can only mean one thing. Lydia is calling her… and I was wrong… cause it’s Arg. Didn’t Lydia ask her mother not to discuss her relationship with Arg… but naturally she doesn’t listen and starts talking… Gemma is at the restaurant  with the instructions to look out for a geezer in a white shirt… so naturally a parade of men with white shirts walk in… one’s too buff, one’s too short , one’s really cute, but he’s not it… finally Mr. Blind Date comes in with a flower in his hand. Gemma ITV_t_TOWIEs072414smiles… so far this is going well. He introduced himself as Gino. Gino met Ferne back in Vegas….uhmm . Gemma and Gino have met before, they kissed at the Sugar Hut. Things were going well, but she thinks he should be older… I’m not understanding this… she’s never cared in the past.

Dumb!Dan makes his required appearance in the episode… and those far he’s talked about three complete sentence. And because they don’t have lives of their own, they talk about Lydia and Arg… and as dumb as Dan is he actually says something intelligent. He also thinks that Arg is gonna end up hurt.

Dannie walks up to the bar, and like a villain in an old classic movie turns to greet Danni slowly… seriously I watch this show for moments like this. Danni is not in the mood to talk and walks away.  Vas mentions he world girlfriend… and the look on Lewis’s face is hilarious, it’s almost like the idea never occurred to him.

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Can you believe that we still have more episodes to watch…. geez

Until Next Time…

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Copyright © 2014 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

What The F*ck? TOWIE – Ep. 9

It’s that time again…another round of foolishness and f*ckery from my favorite overly tan, overly inflated Brits. So for those  two people who actually read my TOWIE posts these are for you..  Season 12 posts can be found here: 1-45-6 , 7 and 8. This post photos are courtesy of Holy Moly

Episode 8 “Tell The World Tour Hits Essex”

The episode opens with Lockie’s bare ass and the hideous tattoo that he got in Las Vegas….. it’s never as good thing when your girlfriend laughs at your naked body.

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Fran, Diags, Ferne and Charlie are enjoying various outdoor activities…

Meanwhile Lydia is making breakfast in bed for Arg.. WHAT?!! Apparently the two of them sent the night … and the next morning making sweet passionate love; they spend the the net day joking and enjoying their post coital bliss. I knew this was gonna happen…. eventually.. but I also don’t think this is a relationship that has a lot of lasting power but then again, but then again I could be wrong…. Is Lydia still living with her mother?… That would making for an awkward morning after.

Great… we get a close up of Lockie’s hairy ass wet and soapy in the shower… ITV why do we need to see that? I am a bit curious about the camera work here… is there a shower cam or doesn’t the camera man actually film him through the glass, either way… YUCK! Once her get’s out the the shower the conversation immediately goes to Vas and him calling Danni sum… all because she doesn’t like his collection. She says, “even though he dresses like a woman, he still a man” and what he did was wrong.

Diags and Fran are sitting in a meadow reliving their favorite Twilight scene.. they spend their time together talking about Lewis and apparently Fran’s favorite word today is f*ck. People on this show will talk a point into the ground… how many times can you talk about the same thing over and over again; but before Diags can talk about the situation for the 200th time he gets a text from Arg telling him that he has something important to tell him. no doubt he’s going to spill the beans about what happened between him and Lydia

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Arg doesn’t do the walk of shame, nope…. he does the happy dance all the way home. This man is so happy that he does his best Michael Jackson moves for the people on the street… He’s so happy in fact that production made sure to play Pharell’s Happy while he was dancing home.

Over on the other side of town Chloe, Gemma, Bobby and Elliot are sitting down enjoying breakfast, while Gemma tells them about her latest party…. Bingo!! Elliot has never played bingo, while everyone else seems super excited about the blobbers than anything else. Elliot doesn’t see the point of playing a game that you can’t cheat in. Gemma asks about the house hunting; because honestly she’s the only one that cares at this point. Chloe admits that last night they officially because boyfriend and girlfriend… which I think is beyond odd because who looks for houses with someone they are not in an official relationship with; and because everyone has babies on the brain Gemma asks, “who’s gonna be the first on in the family to have a baby?” (Did Gemma forget the Chloe and Elliot already have children?) and then she adds fuel to the fire (that’s nearly gone out) “Ferne is ready to have a baby”… great going Gemma… seems Elliot has finally learned his lesson and decided to keep his mouth close; thus keeping family peace…. at least for now.

THREAD IT THROUGH! Ferne repeats this like ten times. Charlie and Ferne are going camping and getting the tent set up seem to be a bit of a problem; but don’t worry he brings the essentials because he’s such a boy scout

  • FIRE – a lighter
  • FOOD – chips from his deli
  • PROTECTION- condoms

ITV_t_TOWIEc072114So the guys are all together playing around with a ball in the yard, when in the background you hear “ain’t no rest for the wicked” which means BOY!gossip. Arg can’t wait to share the news with everyone (Dumb!Dan, Ricky, Tom, Diags, and Lockie) Arg announces, “we made love and it was amazing; and I want to tell the whole world” Dumb!Dan looks utterly confused while Lockie is smiling ear to ear. The guys hug it out because none of them are adult men but 12 year old boys.

So it’s time for another party – which means there more drama… and this time it’s at Gemma and Bobby’s bingo party.  Gemma seems to b taking her job duties as master of ceremonies seriously, because only Essex’s elite has been invited… guess that’s why the place looks half full. Gemma seems to has gotten so desperate for companionship that she announces that the winner will be taking her out on a date…or a “fag, shag and gag with Bobby” Harry seems utterly delighted at the prospect of that. Arg is the first one to call bingo, so he wins a date with Gemma, she looks like she’s about to crawl out of her skin…. clearly the “Tell the World Tour” hasn’t come to a location near her. Lockie calls bingo next and wins a date with Bobby… he’s not so thrilled about that.

Elliot admits to Jessica that he is completely in love with Chloe and I can’t stop looking at his teeth… are they new?

Back at camping Ferne has a surprise for Charlie… it’s a brander for meat…. she heats it up and puts it on the a steak….. and it reads Ferne and Char… and apparently it’s the most hilarious thing either of them have ever seen.

ITV_t_TOWIEn072114Arg continues his “Tell the World Tour” by sharing his news with Elliot and Lewis. I honestly don’t have a good feeling about this. I’m not sure Arg understand the difference between having sex with someone and having a relationship with someone …. they aren’t always exclusive. Gemma is pleased that she’s brought bingo back to Essex…. (*eye roll*)  And here comes Harry he really wants them to become a threesome again. Bobby  doesn’t seem all that convinced.

Useless!Jasmin is on the screen for her 1 minute she is promised on every episode. Useless!Jasmin reminds Grace that now it’s two against two, and the group break-up all has to do with Fran… this seems like a recycled storyline to me. Vas and Danni meet up a the bar to discuss the whole fashion show situation. I got lost in the conversation, voices were raised and Lauren decides to come over to smooth out the situation, then Lockie comes over for support while Dannie shooshes them and says her peace, Danni is going off on everyone and tells Lauren to go away because she is irrelevant to the conversation (which she totally was).

ITV_t_TOWIEp072114Lydia is chatting with her mom, seems Lydia has been hysterical since  she had sexy times with Arg. She doesn’t want him to think that just because they’ve has sex that they are in a relationship with one another. She doesn’t see them together right now, but doesn’t want to rule out anything about the future, she reluctantly admits that she doesn’t know what she wants; but she does want to talk to Arg before they go to Spain for the wedding.

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THE CUTEST BABY IN ESEX MAKES AN APPEARANCE. Gemma and Fran gush over baby Nellie. I gotta say that Billie looks fantastic; she feels like she’s complexly out of the loop so Ferne helps Arg out with his “Tell The World Tour” and lets Billie (and an unknowing Gemma) that Lydia and Arg slept together…twice…and sober. Gemma looks close to tears; and it’s clear that she didn’t know, she starts to sob, but covers it up and saying that she’s crying because of the baby.

Packing for a wedding is hard work according to Ricky, so hard in fact that he hasn’t even started…. I’m still trying to figure out what the whole point of this scene was….pointless.

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After running, Vas and Lauren sit down to gossip… apparently Lauren has been riding Lewis’ pole… frequently  (good for her). Vas is deeply hurt about the situation with Danni. Lauren thinks she said what she did because she doesn’t really know him all that well, Vas explains that it hits deeper than that; being called a weirdo took him back o a place when he was younger and always made fun of because he wasn’t like the other children and was made to feel like an outcast because he was different. Seems like he lashed out and called Danni scum because of what she said those two need to sit down alone and talk things out like mature adults… but this is TOWIE that might never  happen.

Diags and Lewis are having a drink, looks like they are gonna make up…seems like at least Faux!realtionship is on the mend.

Threesomes is the order of business on this picnic as Dumb!Dan, Lockie and Danni sit on a blanket and talk. Dumb!Dan continues the tradition of saying 10 words or less during an episode.

Chloe is excited about the wedding, she already knows she gonna catch the bouquet. Elliot has a surprise for her…. there is something in the drawer… ooh it’s a nice pair of diamond earrings. “something to commemorate her going to the first Wright family event”  (it’s clear that these people have selective memories, because she went to Jessica’s parents vow renewal ceremony… guess that doesn’t count)

Georgia and Fran are out shopping so naturally they run into Grace. Grace talks to Georgia while completely ignoring Fran. Georgia tells Grace she’s a lair, thy keep talking about cheating…and I’m so confused…when did this cheating occur? Fran walks away saying, “f*ck this, f*ck you, f*ck all of this”. Georgia stays and tells Grace that she doesn’t trust her anymore and they are no longer friends.

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I honestly can’t wait for the next episode…..For those of you who are unable to see the current season of TOWIE in your area… season 12 is now on HULU, and they finally got a clue and decided to air this years Marbs special…

Until Next Time…

tyra signature

Copyright © 2014 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

What The F*ck? TOWIE – Ep. 8

It’s that time again…another round of foolishness and f*ckery from my favorite overly tan, overly inflated Brits. So for those  two people who actually read my TOWIE posts these are for you.. previous season 12 posts can be found here , here and here. Last episode included a break-up a fashion show with no fashions… the continuation of the Ferne vs. The Simms Family drama… and the girls still haven’t made up. This post as well as the previous post photos are courtesy of Holy Moly

Episode 8 “Who Wants To Go Polo?” 

Has Chloe lightened her hair again? I don’t like it… wonder if she had someone at her shop to do it? She and Elliot are looking at houses, when she declares, “this room is really wooden”… thanks for stating the obvious Chloe, I guess no one really mistakes her for being the smart Simms sibling. Elliot and Chloe have only been dating for a short time, this are still somewhat tumultuous with the family so why would they think that now would be  a good time to move together… I don’t see this ending well at all (I wonder how the children feel about this)

Bobby looking really upset (seems like he’s had a rough night) has come over to Gemma’ to discuss the argument at the fashion show with no fashions. Bobby’s feelings are still hurt and still doesn’t really understand why Gemma can’t pick a side and stick with it. I’ve mentioned this before but it’s extremely difficult  to be friends with both parties when they are going through a breakup, it’s nearly impossible to divide your loyalties equally, so I sort of feel bad for Gemma.

NAIL POLISH SIGHTING! Diags is a poor replacement for Grace; although he seems to be enjoying his pedicure with the girls.

ITV_t_Towiea071714_thumb[1]The guys are getting ready for a polo game. Arg is telling the guys that he’s still in the friend zone and he may very well be staying there for the duration, I for one and ready for him to move on, learn how to drive, and stopping laughing like a hyena. I honestly thought that Mario was gonna pop out of the dressing room, since they were at the tailors, but I guess he hasn’t been cleared to film yet… guess that’s what happens with  drug charges…

Ferne is gushing about Billie’s baby with Jess and Ricky, conversation quickly moved on to the Charlie/Ferne saga (of course it would … that’s the only thing she has going for her right now… and I’m every single season it’s something going on with those to, I don’t how a couple with so much drama manages to stay together) she admits that she wasn’t with Charlie at the time when she proposition Elliot, so besides the fact that that it got out and embarrassed her, she was free to be proposition anyone she wanted for a quick bathroom f*ck…

ITV_t_Towiej071714_thumb[1]Grace is looking spiffy with her new hair (notice that she didn’t go to Chloe’s; just sayin’) Grace has decided that she is sick of the crap between her and Georgia and Fran and if she has to she’s ready to go toe to toe with the girls…. I had a bad feeling… something is about to happen between them… this is certainly not over.

Brother and sister meet to discuss the drama that seems to have overtaken their family. Chloe decides that she doesn’t like nature, (and I have officially decided that I have had it with her… it’s time for to shut her trap and let Charlie deal with his relationship like a man… if it’’ ends badly it’s on him, she’s given him her opinion numerous times… now it’s time to make peITV_t_Towieb071714_thumb[3]ace and move on) so why meet in a garden (clearly she forgot that she’s on a “reality” show and production that the garden would be “dramatic”) Charlie is still really upset , he doesn’t care what people think about his relationship, he simply wants his sister to accept it and for Elliot to keep his damn mouth closed… sounds simple and doable…. until the next time Charlie seems Elliot and they are back at square one…. never ending drama on this show…

At polo “posh” British people are showing off their finest threads and plastic surgeries. Vas in all his fashion-forwardness is wearing the latest in cameo tracksuit shorts combo. They are talking shit about Danni because like me she doesn’t get Vas’ fashion and thinks is looks like vomit that has been sitting in the hot summer sun. . Vas thinks she’s scum and makes some ITV_t_Towied071714_thumb[1]other cutting remarks about Danni, apparently he tried to be sly and made a passive aggressive tweet about her not being fashionable enough to understand his show… she came back with… “please, I know fashion, I’m a fashion buyer bitch… so you and your homeless chic and go suck it!” (I’m totally paraphrasing here). Before I move on Chloe makes a bitchy comment about how Ferne and her are practically wearing the same dress… I could be clueless, but Jessica’s dress is more similar to Chloe’s dress than Ferne’s is.. guess she just needed to be petty and  say something.. Gemma is wearing the latest from her collection while she and Bobby are scoping out the eye candy on the polo field. and Bobby wants a bloke that can ride him all night long, thanks for the imagery Bob.. While everyone else is stopping the diverts. Lauren and Lewis are over at the bar talking and Lewis admits that he really likes Laruen, there is a lot of smiling and complementing each other.

Arg still feels the need to go down memory lane with Lydia, he’s still pathetically in love with her and it’s a little sad; he asks Lydia to be his date to Leah’s wedding in Spain, Lydia agrees to go and tells him, they she will go only if they can have separate rooms,. Is it me or does Tom, Fran and Diags look like they have been sitting in the sun for a bit too long, or they could have a good buzz… Tom reminds us that they have free booze…. so he’s proudly double fisting it. Fran feels like Grace has changed a little bit and Lewis is a little bitch, Diags looks on, seems upset because he forgot him sunglasses.The “New” Grace is having a little chat with the “Old” Georgia and pretty much says she’s not gonna talk about it.

I think this might be the first scene that Elliot and Gemma have had all season, now we know Gemma wouldn’t be Gemma is her nose wasn’t in other people’s business… and this polo game is no exception, since she’s been dealing with the Barry drama, she hasn’t had the time to say her peace about the Ferne vs. Simms Family drama, so she sits down with Elliot who seems to busy to listen because he’s primping, but she pretty much tells him that he’s given Ferne a lot of low blows and it’s time for them to end this feud once and for all. Elliot feels like if  Ferne can keep her mouth closed this situation wouldn’t be happening, Gemma is looking at him and slightly judging him and thinking he’s full of shit .

Back on the tired peoples couch Tom decides to go over to the “New” Grace and tries to get Grace come over to talk to Fran and Diags… instead of doing so. she once again trying to explain to Tom and he doesn’t really want to hear it he just wants to girls to make up.

Apparently there is a post polo after party  (of course there is … this is TOWIE, there’s a pretty much a party every episode) Lewis walks over to Tom and Diag’s and the conversation is stilted and awkward and Diags looks like he’s had enough of the shit; he tells Lewis that he is two-faced and bitchy by add fuel to the fire between the girl…Lewis counters that there is always drama between the girls, and there’s no denying that.

Arg is having a sit down with Elliot and I think Arg might be a little drunk, he seems a little mumbled mouthed to be. And they talk about the wedding and he tells Elliot that he’s invited Elliot and they do their man talk….

Gemma ,Bobby, Charlie and Ferne go out for post polo curry, and Butch!Bobby makes an appearance …looks a lot like Regular! Bobby to me. Gemma sticks her nose in the drama (rolls eyes). She’s saying the same thing that everyone else is saying, it’s time to let it go. Charlie ITV_t_Towies071714looks like he’s on the verge of tears.

Lockie and Danni realized that they are the only people from polo who haven’t changed…Danni is totally digging the Italian gangster look. Jasmine makes her required appearance and brings up the whole Vas/Jas/Paz situation….lol . Ricky thinks that there is something more going on than the whole Lydia and Arg situation, apparently Lydia feels like they are together sometimes, without the whole pesty sex thing… she admits that’s she’s not ruling out getting back together… which means next season they will be back together…

Fran and Georgia walk up to each other and Fran looks tired, guess being out in the sun does that to a person…Grace doesn’t feel like Fran has been a good friend… telling her that she bitches behind her back and she doesn’t trust Fran, she no longer considered Fran a friend anymore, the whole time Fran is utterly confused. According the Grace Fran is a hypocrite because she was sleeping with someone else when her and Diags got together, and this sets Fran off. Grace storms off and Fran calls her a “f*cking bitch”

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The next episode should be lots’ of fun…. can’t wait. For those of you who are unable to see the current season of TOWIE in your area… season 12 is now on HULU, and they finally got a clue and decided to air this years Marbs special…

Until Next Time…

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Copyright © 2014 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

What The F*ck? TOWIE – Ep. 7

It’s that time again…another round of foolishness and f*ckery from my favorite overly tan, overly inflated Brits. So for those  two people who actually read my TOWIE posts these are for you.. previous season 12 posts can be found here and here. The week the deli finally opened , we learned that , Chloe can’t make a sandwich to save her life, Grace pretty much did to Tom what Tom has done to every girl he’s dated on TOWIE, The Ferne and Charlie saga continues, Jessica cried , Billie is ready to pop out her baby and remains a ray of sunshine. Gemma remains in the middle of the drama Barry is still on rocky ground and Georgia, Grace and Fran had a three way argument.

Episoide7 “Sign the damn Prenup!”

Wait! Harry has his own shop? Does Harry’s World sell se toys or something, no? BOORING another store selling clothes.

Lockie and Danni are at the zoo, these two argue about the correct pronunciation on the word lemur, honestly it’s like a meeting with dumb and dumber. Danni then reminds Lockie how f*cked up their relationship was in the past and in order for things to then to get back together things defiantly need to change.

Over at Chloe’s Elliot stands around looking the douchy ass butt he is while Chloe prepares the shop for the day. Arg walks in and brings up Ferne; because clearly he has nothing else to discuss… so naturally the shit talking begins and Arg starts to laugh like a freakin’ hyena, after he’s done laughing it up he causally mentions that Lauren and Vas are having a fashion show (like the care) Chloe proudly  says that she would rather her vagina be dry… wait that’s not what she said; darn it, she actually said that she’d rather see paint dry… but honestly the  vagina line was way funnier .

Grace has asked Tom to come to the park for a chat. She admits that she is still  in contact with her ex-boyfriend (Tom knew that already, hell everyone in their circle knew that…. you know gossip spreads like wild-fire) Tom’s is feeling like he was played by Grace…Grace starts to cry (I’m confused as to why) as expected the conversation moves to an argument that Grace has with Georgia and Fran. Tom says something to the effect, “I don’t know what you argued; no one really cares”. Tom is over the entire situation and I’m seriously over Tom’s pink shorts.

Bobby announces that maybe he was a bit too hasty is his decision to take Harry back. He no longer trusts Harry and thinks they should break up once and for all (sad face) . Harry is devastated, and so am I, honestly I was looking forward to more matching summer attire, R.I.P Barry…you never really had a chance.

ITV_t_TOWIEq071414Ricky is out shopping with his mum… and  it literally take six seconds for him to start talking about Jessica and how they ate not living together. I’m over this , this story has gone beyond anything that I can stand and anytime here on out I refuse to write about it.

Danni and Lockie seem happy walking around the zoo , things seem like they are going well until Dannie starts to list off all the ways Lockie made her fell during their relationship and all the drama he caused; she then presents him with a “prenup” or a contract from their relationship. He has to sign it or their relationship can’t go any further, so like mature adults they both spit in their hands and kiss; then Danni in all her white jean gloriousness falls in the bushes behind her with a lovely elephant looking on.

I’m not sure if Charlie’s is open for business, every time they show it , Ferne is the only person there. Elliot Wright is he topic of conversation for the lovebirds. He’s a total douche butt and Charlie has had enough of him. And honestly I really want to know if there is any truth to the whole “Let’s F*ckn in the Toilets” drama.

Dumb!Dan is at the gym with Lockie talking about the relationship contract. Seriously Dumb!Dan  can barley form a sentence without laughing… he is seriously becoming as useless as Jasmine.ITV_t_TOWIEb071414

Arg is learning to drive for the 784th time and Lydia is doing a good deed by attempting to teach him. It instantly becomes sexual (for Arg) and he tells her that safety vest is turning him on….. let’s be honest a taco, fish and chips, a slice of cake, and Nanny Pat’s sausage plait turns him on as well. At this point I don’t think that he’s even trying; there is no way that a grown man is that dim. During the lunch break Lydia asks Arg his other life goals. Arg tells her he hopes for kids and a family home all the while lovingly glazing into Lydia’s eyes… she’s not having any of it.

Lewis meets up with Grace (I don’t know why) to talk about the argument. Grace is upset that they were talking about her behind her back… I’m screaming at the top of my lungs, THIS IS TOWIE EVERYONE TALKS SHIT ABOUT EVERYONE BEHIND THEIR BACK!

Charlie walks into Chloe’s like a boss, (and matching Chloe and Elliot) he grabs a seat ignored Chloe and tells Elliot that he’s tired of him being reckless with his mouth and to stay in his lane. Elliot says he’s done with the situation (how many times has he said that?) and I don’t believe one word he says; I don’t think Charlie is buying it either, Chloe can’t deal with not being included and starts to cry… boo-hoo.

At the fashion show titled, “Lauren and Vas: Unzipped (how original) Vas has gotten a haircutITV_t_TOWIEj071414 for the special occasion while everyone gathers for a good Essex party … which will only mean one thing DRAMA!

Lockie takes Dumb!Dan’s advice and makes changes to the contract, Danni’s annoyed but reluctantly agrees to sign it, thus bringing us another chapter of the Danni/Lockie saga.

Ricky and Jessica are on the screen…. he looks odd without his beard

Wow, I think Lewis and I have the same pants –   No BUENO. Lewis tells this girls to stop being bullies and start being better friends. I’m not impressed by any of the clothes at the fashion show…. and you can tell they put a lot of money in it  just by looking at the plastic cups people are holding… guess it goes with the homeless chic them Vas is pushing .

Meanwhile Fran and Charlie are having dinner when Fran want to celebrate because Billie has had her baby girl. CHEERS TO BILL! Ferne tells Charlie what happened at the Frat party, In Walks Elliot and his sister Leah… the tension is thick and the conversation immediately stops.

Back at the fashion show with horrible fashions. Gemma and Bobby have a go at each other. Bobby is upset (what else is new?) because Gemma has finally made peace with Harry, and went over to his place and enjoyed a BBQ with the family; Bobby is feeling hurt and begins to question Gemma’s loyalty. Once again someone in Gemma’s gay entourage is pissed at her. Bobby mentioned the words that destroy every relationship, “egg salad”!

At the restaurant Elliot decided to go over to Charlie and Ferne’s table to bury the hatchet (right in Ferne’s back). Ferne ugly cries…..

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For those of you who are unable to see the current season of TOWIE in your area… season 12 is now on HULU, and they finally got a clue and decided to air this years Marbs special…

Until Next Time…

tyra signature

Copyright © 2014 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved