What The F*ck?–Big Brother Week 8 (Surprise, Bitch….)

Or if you prefer ……IT AIN’T THE SUITE LIFE

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Last week we left with Frankie and Derrick wining the Heads of Household competition. There are a couple of things that I want to put out into the universe… why are their so many multiple choice competitions… what happened to the endurance competitions I wonder if it has anything to do with Frankie’s condition…But let me play devils advocate for a moment: I think he is exaggerating it or it’s merely a mental thing. i highly doubt the doctor reviewing their health before entering would allow him to be on the show if he has the possibility of staying in the have-not room and his “circulatory condition” is actually a problem. same for Christine, i can’t remember her stating she has celiac disease or anything that FORCES her to not eat gluten, so the doc approved her to be on the show because she is capable of being a have-not whether her beliefs or mental block makes her believe she is not… too much liability. But the whole reason I was bringing up Frankie was because during the Head Of Household competition he was miming the answers.

Has anyone ever counted how many times Derrick says, “that being said….”?

Donny already knows he’s going on the block, he knew it the instantly he loss the Head of household competition,  at this point he knows that he out numbered. In the bathroom Derrick, Cody and Caleb are talking strategy. Derrick wants Zach to go on the block with Donny, but he wants him to  volunteer (Zach is a lot of things, but dumb ass isn’t one of them…. why would he volunteer to be put on the block when he already knows he’s on thin ice with Derrick; well his alliance as a whole) The plan is to put someone up t throw the competition, Cody instantly say, “fuck no!” and Caleb remains dubious of the entire plan stating that he put his self up 3 times and no one else wants to do it.

Deciding to show a little grace and tell Victoria that she is safe for the week. Naturally she’s thrilled because as Frankie says, “being on the block is stressful” and we all know that Victoria doesn’t deal with anything well. I’m sitting here watching this and I can’t get out of my mind the picture of the Detonators/BombSquad are like an old traditional boys club, sitting in the HOH room and making decisions about the house, it’ll be fun to see when they have to turn on each other. I’m seriously confused as to why Victoria is willing to trust Derrick again after she was so shocked to hear the truth about him last week. Needless to say Victoria will not be feeling so confident next week, as I’m sure she’ll be right back on the block, as Frankie says, “Just enjoy you’re week, you’ll be fine”

Donny’s playing Zenga (ZENGA!!) While Frankie and Derrick are in the Hive room, where Derrick tells Frankie that he trusts him, “not because of the game, but because of the grandfather thing”. So because they both have grandfathers who passed sway during their time on Big Brother is reason enough to trust someone (although I admit the circumstances are sad and usual) but come on. Let’s do a bit of a rewind shall we, Derrick is straight up lying; not only s he lying in the Diary Room (yes I noticed). Did we forget what happened last week or the fact that Derrick wouldn’t hesitate to back door him when it becomes convenient for him. In any case the plan is for Derrick to remain Head of Household so that Frankie can be eligible to play next week (I think he realizes that be may still be danger because he no longer has the safety of the HOH he will become a target again) . Donny starts spelling out words with the Zenga pieces…. this man is totally speaking my heart

bye Frankie

 

I AM THE FOUNDER OF THE BOMB SQUAD – Caleb

I can’t believe that still are doing this “Who Wants to See My HOH” it gives me Rachel Reilly flashbacks….It’s not like the room décor changes depending on the houseguest, we still get that stupid bird nest and for real… has Frankie every left the damn HOH room, because no matter who is Head of Household, he will find a way to sleep in the room and get all the comps; including walking around with that room…. People oohing and aahing over pictures of Frankie with his sister but Victoria is freaking out because she only has two modes (crying or freaking out) and Zach (God bless his little spastic heart) as deemed Zrankie (Zankie) over because, “Ariana is a smoke bomb””, so now Zariana is a thing” and because that bomb went off right in front of Caleb’s face he practices his most creeptastic stalker speech and talks directly into the camera to tell Ariana how beautiful she is. It was that moment that I realized how much makeup Frankie wears (he needs to be camera ready at ALL times) because I swear he started sweating bullets and his makeup started slipping down his face…listen I’m no fan of Frankie, but I would be scared to if Caleb started noticing my little sister. Derrick has pictures of his siblings and his little girl, when Frankie exclaims, “SHE’S GORGEOUS!” I will say that the little girl is adorable, and she looks a lot like her dad. I enjoyed seeing Derrick having a genuine moment,  Letters are read. Derrick’s is really cute and Frankie can’t get through his without tearing up…plus there is a little bit of self promotion..(Can you tell I’m not a fan of the Grande’s as a whole?) and Derrick’s is great, Frankie can barley read his letter before he’s in tears… #OVERIT

The hive room is super popular right now, Donny and Derrick have a pow-wow. Donny want to know where Derrick’s head is . Derrick states that he remains  devoted to Team America (??), but the Detonators want Donny to go up so he needs to find a way to keep him there (did I miss the part where Team America needs to stay intact for them to continue missions?) I feel really bad for Donny because they keep putting him up and every week he’s having the same conversation with a different member of the household and it always looks like Donny is on the verge of tears.

IT’S CRAZY HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS HOMOSEXUAL – Zach

We learn an important lesson from Frankie and Zach…. Zach’s love for Frankie has no limits and according to Frankie Zach is welcome to bend him over the couch and give it to him when ever her feels like it ; cause Frankie is patiently waiting to Zach to come out of the closet. Frankie tells Zach, “It’s not the actions that make you homosexual, it’s the feelings” (seriously, I’m starting to hear Color Me Badd’s “I Wanna Sex You Up” in the background) Zach asking “Does it make me gay if I’m in love with a homosexual?” Frankie just wants him to come out already so they can explore that issue together.

I love how they took a little time in the broadcast to show the flirting between Cody and Christine, and how the other houseguest perceive the flirting as very bizarre, since everyone agrees that Cody flirts with anyone that walks, (let’s not forget Joey, Brittany and Amber and his occasional flirtation with Victoria and Nicole whenever Christine isn’t available… that’s everyone but Jocasta). Maybe Cody’s hair has magical powers because she can’t seem to keep her hand out of it. Is Cody  using the fact he’s very good looking as a strategy and flirts with everyone that would be receptive to it, is Christine as a married woman skirting a thin line that may have serious repercussions when she leaves the house?

MY HUSBAND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING STUPID I’M JUST TRYING TO WIN $500,000 – Christine

TASTE THE RAINBOW Because this season can’t get more comical the idiot; Derrick, Caleb, Frankie, Cody and Christine devise a plan to pick skittlesnominees to go up against “Big Bad Donnie” Because no one wants to come right out and volunteer they devise is this totally “scientific” skittles method. Each player (who is not an HOH) select and candy color, and if that color is chosen then you will be nominated for eviction. First pick is the nominee who will sit beside Donnie, the color purple was chosen so that means that Christine is going to be Donnie’s partner. Next Red (Cody) and Green (Caleb) are picked…Zach is thrilled that he wasn’t picked.cause that means there is no possible way for him to go home. Because the Detonators feel like Zach is not pulling his weight, they actually wanted him to volunteer to go up; but what little self preservation Zach had prevented him from doing so… and because he didn’t volunteer there is talk of him going home. (And in the end maybe Zach should have been begging to go up against Donnie, he wouldn’t be in the situation that he’s in now)

I’m glad that Donnie is buying this crap that they are feeding him because he totally figured it out..he;s calling bullshit in that on the “scientific” method too. He was told that everyone had a color (LIE!! FRANKIE EVEN LIED ABOUT THIS IN THE DIARY ROOM) and everyone was chosen by random draw  and the only reason he wasn’t upstairs was because he was sleeping (we already know that Donnie was going up no matter what).. There are only five colors of Skittles (Yet there where six available houseguests). Donnie started to ask what color he was.. Cody told him that he was orange, he later asked Derrick the same question, but Derrick replied “red”. It was that moment that Donnie knew that he was bamboozled and that he was alone in the house.

THE MAN EATS POPTARTS FOR BREAKFAST, HE KNOWS WHAT COLOR SKITTLES ARE – Rob Cesternino

NOMINATIONS Considering the nominees knew who were going to be put on the block, I find this week’s nomination ceremony to be a waste of time. But they had to go through the motions. Derrick nominated  Donny and Christine, while Frankie nominated Cody and Caleb and proceeded to give that I believe is the best nomination speech ever…. I couldn’t have written in better myself. (And Although it hurts me.. deeply I have to give Frankie his props on this one).  “All summer long 3both of you have been teasing me with your amazing abs, your perky pecks, your sensual smiles and your bubble buttocks and I can take it no longer” The smiles on Caleb and Cody’s faces was hysterical…What I don’t get what why all the pomp and circumstance? Everyone at that table knew ahead of time how it was gonna go… all the they had to go what shut up and turn the key and the nomination ceremony would have been over (I bet those producers were sitting in the back just grinning ear to ear) I feel bad for Donny…. hell I feel like I’m always saying that, he’s constantly being put on the block (this is his 5th time)

 

 

BIG BLACK BOX Everyone is betting on Christine to throw the competition; you would think that these idiots would have learned fro their previous mistakes every time they try to throw a competition the person figures it out and comes out the victor; the fail miserably and end of trying to figure out a “new plan”. The real problem is that the Detonators (even though they have the numbers on their side) they are super confident  and you know what they always say “pride before the fall

Both teams enter the box simultaneously, the houseguests have to race and find bones hidden throughout the box. Once a bone is found (and you can only be holding one at a time) return it to the scoreboard. Also hidden throughout are bones that don’t fit.Once five bones are placed on the board you hit the button… Easy. I don’t know what was worst the fact that Christine made it super obvious that she was throwing the game, or the fact that Caleb and Cody;2 who I will now all du,b and dumber  decided to hold on to each other and do the buddy method which slowed them down considerably. Christine literally found a corner sat there and screamed every few minutes about not being able to find bones and stayed there until the competition was over… of course we are not counting the times when she was passing bones to Dumb and Dumber; which my chance none of them fit on the board. Outside in the yard Frankie is being extra dramatic  for the cameras while on the inside Meanwhile Donny saved himself by winning the competition with absolutely no help from Christine… he finally hit the button and the lights come on confusing the hell out Christine and Dumb and Dumber. Donny falls to the floor and thanks Jesus, quietly to himself. That’s a much different reaction from when Frankie won it by himself. He walks outside and everyone is truly shocked to learn that Donny won… and the part that ticks me off Christine yells, “we won!” bitch you didn’t do anything but copped a squat… girl bye!. Derrick is dethroned and not happy because his fellow “Hitman” Cody and l Caleb are on the block. Frankie is also upset because two members of his alliance are nominated. Derrick has to place all his trust in Frankie, which I’m sure is an uncomfortable place to be at the moment for both of them, because no Frankie won’t have any protection next week, and at this point anyone can go home. For a little bit I was getting flashbacks of watching, You Can Do That On Television. I’m seriously over all this slime, maybe CBS got a bulk discount or something.

Best Parts: Christine got reprimanded during the competition handing off  bones to the other side. We can’t forget Caleb getting scolded by production for using his FitBit to illuminate the area so that he could see (and cheat)…Cheater never win Caleb; but he already knew that, he discussed it on the feeds that he got yelled at. Then he goes around bitching that production has placed an ear piece in Donny’s ear, because there is no way he should have been able to win that competition (ear pieces are nice, but what the hell are they gonna do if it’s pitch black and you can’t see?… but he couldn’t even finish a thought before the screen went to “fishes”) You gotta love the live feeds, because they seriously edit all the good stuff off from the broadcasts.

Derrick goes to Donny to congratulate him, but what he’s really doing is trying to give a feel for whether or not Donny still trust him. You can tell my the body language that Donny wants no part of the conversation.Derrick was trying to blow smoke up Donny’s ass; but the beard wasn’t having it. Donny has a realization that everyone in the house is against him; but then Derrick’s arrogant ass states (in the diary room), “If you’re not with me then you’re against me”. Frankie wants to put of Victoria, but secretly Derrick still needs her vote so he needs to convince Frankie to nominate Zach

MY FEELINGS ARE HURT DEEPLY, IT’S AN AWEFUL PAIN – Donny

Donny tells Zach that if chosen he needs to win the veto, because despite what they say you are still a target. He want Zach to form an alliance with him, and honestly I’m all for it, the houseguest totally wouldn’t see it coming I will call them Dach.. no Zonny!!! I see it now #Zonny

Zach is feeling a frazzled so he goes to talk to Frankie about veto options, Zach realizes he’s a huge target, but at this point he’s just hoping someone else will go up.

TEAM AMERICA America was given the option of either A. Create a distraction by hiding a favorite piece of clothing from each Houseguest then organize a neighborhood watch program to keep it from happening again. or B. Weaken another player’s game by keeping them awake for 24 hours straight. Anyone who’s watched the live feeds knows that this group is a much of night owls so option B wouldn’t work. So America chose for Donny, Frankie and Derrick to complete option A. TA Derrick decides that this is a fun mission Items taken: Zach’s Gator shirt, Christine’s stuffed animal, Victoria’s robe (which Derrick stuffs in his pants), Derrick’s hat, Cody’s hat, Donny’s hat, Frankie’s wrap, and Caleb’s boots. Honestly I think this mission is hilarious, even if it is a little on the easy side. But I wonder if the Diary Room clued them in that a stuff animal isn’t exactly considered “favorite clothing”. They’re going to hide everything in a trash bug under the recycling bin in the storage room and then try to act like it’s a prank. They also plan to write a message on the mirror warning everyone to watch their stuff after the items have all been stolen . Cody realizes his hat is missing, he instantly starts to say something is up . Zach (most likely because he’s just as bored with this season as I am) decides that it’s the Saboteur, then everyone else realizes that their belongings are missing as well. Victoria’s name comes up as a possibility, and everyone is paranoid. so with very little probing from Team America they start a neighborhood watch., with people taking shifts and as expected Zach acts an ass. It’s hilarious because Zach is the ultimate trouble maker, so naturally everyone thinks that it’s him. Caleb mentions that it has to be him, because he was a stunt cast being Amanda Zuckerman’s cousin and all; I can’t believe these idiots still believe that… they are gonna feel so stupid when they get out of the house. Derrick and Frankie decide to use Team America’s mission and everyone’s suspicion of Zach to get him out of the house. Each member of Team America got $5,000 for this mission.

And the “Neighborhood Watch” begins….

Part 1
Part 2

It was eventually Caleb’s suggestion to look in the garbage to see if their stuff was in there. I love how people continue to blame Zach even though Caleb told them exactly where to find the missing items (which totally makes him look suspicious .

Eventually they find it

 

I think that Team America is ruining the game, if it wasn’t for Team America Derrick probably wouldn’t be in the house, and it’s for she that Frankie would have ever turned his back on Zach; who has been nothing but loyal to him. Donny is the only popular one according to America, but because Derrick and Donny are sitting around thinking that because they were voted on Team America that they continue to have this superior popularity…. they are gonna get a rude awakening when they walk out of the house and realize that America hates their guts. goul

The odd little flirting/picking on Victoria is hilarious, she gets so flustered so easily so in grade school retaliation (plus he’s on the block so what does it matter) she takes the pink hat he’s been wearing pretty much all season (he says she gave it to him, she says he asked to borrow it and never gave it back) and cuts it up in to little pieces. I honestly think it was stupid, and if she really wanted to make a move (her words… not mine) she should play the damn game!

THIS IS THE MOST SATISFYING THING I’VE DONE ALL SUMMER – Victoria

THE HAVE-NOTS Frankie got to pick two Have-Nots for the week and he chose Victoria and Christine, the food this week is  Transylvania Goulash which is a combination of blood sausage, canned pumpkin and onions.

ZINGBOT Frankie picks Victoria, Caleb picks Christine, and Cody picks Donny. Zach doesn’t get picked, so he’s worried. I’m loving he fact that most of the people in the house are now scared of Donny. Zach is giving Donny a prep talk telling him to win the competition (so that Zach can be safe).

Zingbot finally makes an appearance and scarring this shit out of everyone as she(?) enters the house. But something is up, it appears that Zingbot is broken instead of giving the houseguests zings she’s giving everyone props. Everyone get’s a complement… so out comes Kathy Griffin to save the day! Naturally Frankie loves her (because according to her all the gays love her, I have to admit that I love her too)

09 zingbot is healedThe mission is to reboot Zingbot, by connecting circuits on the circuit board to illuminate the lights. I really liked the costumes, everyone looked like nerdy scientist. Frankie was the first to illuminate the first and second board with Donny with on his heels. Poor Christine just can’t get it, and Victoria is just useless at this point…. Cody well… he’s pretty to look at.and Beast Mode…as he says, “is good at lightening up light bulbs”.. at this point Caleb is right behind Frankie, but Frankie pulls ahead and wins the Veto.

Frankie tells Kathy, “I did it for the gays!” Caleb and Cody are a little bummed, while Zach continues to become more nervous. Time to celebrate everyone because Zingbot has been restored to full capacity and she’s ready to let it rip!

Naturally her appearance was apart of a promotion for her comedy album “Look At My Butt Crack”

 

ZINGS

(by Kathy Griffin)

  • 07 kathy griffin zings zachThere’s a belief that glasses make people look smarter. Thanks for disproving that.
  • Caleb, you and Amber have a lot in common, you think she’s drop dead gorgeous, and she just wants you to drop dead
  • Victoria, I would zing you but I’m only supposed to zing people who are actually playing the game
  • What do you call someone who is not afraid to cry, wears pink, and cuddles with men? Zach!

Zach and Victoria get ripped new one’s too bad the joke went completely over Victoria’s head, and Zach…. well he proves what we all know to be true that bullies can dish it, but can’t take it .. especially when someone is taking a shot at their pseudo – homosexuality. ZING!

WHAT DOES SHE MEAN I’M NOT PLAYING THE GAME, I’M STILL HERE AREN’T I? – Victoria

1

(by Zingbot 3000)

  • That’s a nice tan, but I’m surprised you get any sun at all considering you how much time you spend in your sister’s shadow (Frankie)
  • This is a house of good looking dudes. There’s not one unattractive man in here. Oh wait, I didn’t see you there, Derrick.
  • What’s cool about doing he gator chop and being unemployed? Nothing (Zach)
  • Caleb – Zinged for how often he seems to end up wearing make-up in the house.
  • Your look is very Duck Dynasty. Too bad your social game is more like Suck Dynasty (Donny)
  • You’re such a nice guy. You haven’t made any enemies this summer, except for maybe Christine’s husband (Cody and by default Christine)
  • Christine – Zinged for something about her tattoos.

 

THERE’S ABSOULTY NOTHING GOING ON THERE, WE’RE JUST REALLY, REALLY, REALLY,. REALLY, GOOD FRIENDS – Cody

zing

POWER OF VETO Zach addresses America from the hammock: “Well, my Big Brother life is about to be over. The veto meeting is in about 10 minutes.Frankie of all people is about to put me on the block, and I’m going to be going home. It really sucks.” but let’s backtrack for a little bit .. Zach admitted to being the “Saboteur” (I don’t even understand the logic behind that one)

Can someone please explain to me what the f*ck Frankie is wearing? A sparkly puffy vest with raggedy ass fur on the hood; looks like a left over from on of Ariana’s tour dancers. I guess it goes with his whack ass veto speech rap

I’m going to take a page from my best friend Zach Attack,

But I’m going to do it better,

Cuz your shit was kind of whack

I love you so much and it would be fun for you to stay,

But if I don’t put you up,

I’m going to look cray cray.

So Zach my friend please go and have a seat

It’s time for you and Julie Chen to finally meet.

11 frankies awful rapZach was put up as the replacement nominee. A couple of things that I noticed all the stuff that happened after the Veto Ceremony, never made it to the broadcast, we didn’t see the evil shit that Frankie was saying to and being Zach’s back, they didn’t show him telling Zach ahead of time that he was going on the block… but then again what do you expect… Producers gotta continue to make Frankie look like an angel

On August 17th, #RenomRule was trending worldwide on Twitter, The hash tag references a Big Brother rule that replacement nominees cannot be told before the veto meeting, so enforcing it would mean Zach couldn’t be nominated. That rule appears to have been enforced during season 12, when Brendon told Britney she’d be nominated and was apparently forced by producers to choose new nominees (Brenden has denied this on his twitter
account).Basically, Frankie went to Zach and told him upfront that he was going to be put on the block to be voted out on Thursday. Zach took it pretty well, all things considered, but Big Brother fans were quick to point out that this violates the Renom Rule and that production should tell Frankie that he now has to choose someone other than Zach to go up and get evicted Fans wanting Zach saved from Frankie’s plans found a perhaps unlikely ally in Ariana Grande and others who speculate Frankie knows that rule and broke it in order to save Zach, which is the kind of revisionist spin we’d expect to hear from Frankie…. it will be interesting to see how this pans out

arigrandeariagrande1

 

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Frankie used the Power of Veto on Caleb so It’s official Zach is on the block ….. Will he go home ??  It’s been a long time since I’ve seen such an outcry as I have over the last 12hours, I have a feeling they will have to make an official STATEMENT to the viewers soon….or they may scramble to make a way for him to be the come back… if all else fails the can go the to Big Brother contracts, because houseguests are also told that those rules can be “changed, modified or amended … with or without prior notice to me.” There is also a very detailed section in the contract about producers’ ability to change the rules and game at any time, which also says that producers’ decisions are final…. so they can pretty much change the game anytime they feel like (which personally leads credence to what I was saying about “producers favorite” Frankie in last weeks post)

A little birdy on twitter has told people that will be a long endurance competition of the live feeds… this makes me want to do happy, jumpy claps. And today CBS released a wonder preview… which only gets me more excited

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EVICTION According to Big Brother Network the majority of the readers feel that Zach will be exiting this the Big Brother House this week (I think at this point Zach would even agree), The poll hasn’t been incorrect yet I think that Zach is gonna be sent packing… but he will return like phoenix from the ashes (or at least I hope so and return to the house… giving Frankie a heart attack in the process)week 8

In a vote of 5-0 Zach was evicted from the household. I was SCHOCKED that Donnie voted for him; especially considering earlier this week he was trying to form alliance with him… maybe he realized that the S.S. Donny was a sinking ship and it was time to swim for safer (?) waters

SEE YOU NEVER (referring to Zach’s departure) – Christine

SURPRISE, BITCH(I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU’D SEEN THE LAST OF ME)  Jocasta, Hayden, Nicole and Zach will be playing to see who will return to the house (I think we all knew those 4 players would be competing with one another). Then name of the game is called “Comeback Fight” and the concept is simple. you play in 7 rounds players have to move their disk onto the spinning turntable and the person with the most disks on the turntable at the end of 7 rounds wins the game. In feat that even Madison Montgomery would be proud of …. Nicole won the game (it was a tie between her and Jocasta and she won based on the fact that her disk was closer). Poor Jocasta, she was so excited about the prospect of winning I thought that she was gonna start speaking in tongues again.

While waiting in for the HOH competition Derrick, Frankie, Caleb and Cody are in the rock room talking about the return of Nicole to the game, Derrick is brutal while he’s talking about Nicole and Donny. He vows to put them on the block so Nicole can return the Jury house… once again Derrick tells Victoria that she’s safe this week .It’s amazing to me how they include Victoria in the conversation. I guess since Nicole is back in the house Christine is persona no grata.

 

Downstairs Nicole is eating in the kitchen and talking about the Jury house, I honestly wish she would shut up because they keep going to fish

10pm CST- They still haven’t played HOH comp

Since Zach is gone, it looks like Frankie will be moving on Cody for cuddles and possible sleep buddy. They are calling themselves Fody, and I’m gonna vomit. This whole time Caleb has been quietly sitting on the read chairs. I’m not sure if he’s catching some z’s, praying or just  nervous about the HOH comp.

10:40ish CST – Jeff pops on the screen. The HOH comp has begun and houseguest were told to wear “athletic wear” so maybe this is the endurance comp that Mike was talking about earlier.

12:01am CST- Cody was announced the winner… FUCK!

NOTABLES

  • (Evil) Dick Donato (along with his girlfriend Stephanie Rogness-Fischer) are slated to join the cast of VH1’s Couples Therapy for Season 5(what a f*ckin train wreck!) Guess he needs another 15 minutes of fame
  • Jill and Kevin Rance (Zach’s mom and younger brother) made an appearance on Reality Recaps
  • According to TMZ Edwin Lyda is suing CBS. He claims he invented the system for text message voting and says he holds the patents to that system. He claims CBS jacked his invention and uses it each week on Big Brother. If he really wants to sue someone he needs to head over to Fox (American Idol)…
  • I can’t with Victoria anymore She’s upset and says her scalp is bleeding because she’s not supposed to wear her extensions every day…. duh… then stop wearing them everyday… no one is gonna talk about you because you aren’t wearing your extensions…. you’re extensions are the least of your worries
  • You can tell the house is completely bored because they were sitting around the table talking about giving oral sex to themselves.
  • Rachel Reilly has certainly been making the rounds, she’;s been everywhere talking about Big Brother, but if you missed it don’t fret, she pretty much said the exact same thing she said on last weeks live broadcast…and I can only take so much of her…..her voice annoys the hell out of me.
  • People are yelling over the wall and I honestly think that it’s getting to some of the houseguest more than others
  • Frankie thinks that by nominating Zach he’s making a big move, but he could be sealing his fate for the up coming weeks…
  • Frankie having a freaky conversation in the bathtub to America/Ariana, but kept redoing it so production could get (and use) the best take
  • I didn’t like the atmosphere in the house this week personally I thought that it went a bit beyond game play.
  • Cody putting lotion of his junk while talking to Victoria… thirsty much Cody?
  • This week has put me on the Zach bandwagon,… seems like former BB players are feeling the same (curtsey of AllThingsBB16)
  • I am not following Zach on Twitter and Instagram… man I’m a sucker!
  • During the live show Christine kissed the ring on her hand, was that a message to her husband Tim
  • Who ever is styling Julie Chen needs a raise, he/she is doing an amazing job!
  • Although Zach didn’t come back into the house like I thought he would I thought that he was classy and honest with his interview with Julie Chen
  • Les Moonves challenged Juile to do the Ice Bucket challenge live on air (I think in her introduction she called him everything EXCEPT husband. How can you do an ice bucket challenge with no ice? SERIOUSLY!
  • Frankie’s social media accounts were hacked and his Instagram account was deleted…

bandwagon

I’m excited about what’s gonna happen this week… since the heard is thinning, I’m sure there are some Detonators that are nervous about being put on the block as pawns…. should be fun to watch.. But before I go let me just give a reminder of why I can’t stand Frankie just despicable

Videos courtesy of J-Bird and photos courtesy of CBS

Until Next Time…. I leave you with the vocal styling’s of Timothy Brecht singing Problem

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Copyright © 2014 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved

What The F*ck? Week 7 Big Brother (Also known as the week sh*t hit the fan)

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juliejocasta.Jocasta was eliminated from the house (by a vote of 6-2), no one made a sound; except for Zach…. naturally with his over zealous clapping (kind of like a seal). So here’s the thing … I get that you’re happy that you weren’t evicted, but don’t be an asshole douche bag fucktard about it, but then again Zach rarely shows that type of decorum, and honestly I don’t think he know how to even spell it… in any case Jocasta is gone, and off to the Jury House; where she can sleep in a comfortable bed alone and in a room with a comfortable temperature… but she doesn’t have to worry about being lonely… it’s double eviction night!

FUN FACT: Ariana Grande was in the audience

MATHCATION Caleb is the new Head of Household . Frankie and Zach were ecstatic… what is the deal with his screaming, clapping, and dancing around did someone forget to give Zach his medication today… he’s beyond hyper and it was beyond annoying; in any case Hayden and Donny were nominated for eviction, so of course there was some jib-jab (it’s a new phrase that I’m trying out… so leave me alone) and some he-said/she-said crap was said. All I know is that if Donny leaves I’m gonna piss myself…

It’s veto competition time and Caleb as Head of Household played along with nominees Donny and Hayden as well as Victoria and Zach… Needless to say even though he started off a bit skiw he kicked ass and was able to save himself from eviction. I know that everyone in his hometown was cheering him on; hell I was screaming so loud I was out of breathe

FUN FACT: Both Nominees wore college T-shirts. Harvard and Wisconsin (Go Wisconsin!!)

Since Donny was able to save himself Caleb had to name a replacement nominee. The plan was for the member of the Detonators/Bomb Squad (seriously assholes pick a name) to blindside Nicole, Hayden and Donny. Due to Donny winning the Power of Veto competition Nicole was placed on the block next to her “boyfriend” . Sitting on the block I don’t remember ever seeing any nominees as nervous as those two were; there were a lot of shaking knees . And with a vote of 5-2 Hayden left the house and joined Jocasta in the jury house. And before the live episode was over you could already hear Nicole and demanding the truth….she knew that it was a set up and that she’d been played; crying and blaming Christine, Frankie and Cody – calling them out in front of everyone, and that pretty much last for the rest of the night

 

Remember how we were all complaining about how boring big Brother has gotten…..so , much drama….so, so much drama

Poor Nicole she spends more of the night crying about how she can’t trust each other. I can’t find it in my heart to feel bad for her did she forget what show she’s one… people win this cam by being liars and manipulators…while she’s with Christine, Donny comes in and consoles her telling her, “You cant trust anyone” and “They are all gonna turn on each other”… see Donny totally get’s it I think the best part of all of this is Derrick who is sitting back and enjoying the shit show… and not saying a word.

EYECHART The Houseguests have to go up two at a time and read clues from an eye chart and answer the questions.

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Nicole and Christine get to work on who they should nominate. They agree to work together despite everything that’s been going on. Frankie comes in to try to do damage control. He admits to working with the other side of the house, but he’s throwing in several lies along the way. He suggests them putting up Cody, Zach, Caleb and Derrick. Nicole isn’t buying his story and Christine is sick of Frankie speaking for her and ruining her game… the entire time this is happening I’m curled up in my chair because I know it’s about to go down…

Frankie goes into the Bee Hive room to spew his lies (so that he can continue to be sage in the house for another week). At this point Frankie will do anything aside from giving a blow job to stay in the house (but things haven’t gotten that dire yet) So since Frankie tried to save his ass Zach feels the need to do a little brown nosing himself. I love how Zach throws EVERYONE under then bus, no he wants to work with Nicole; just like Frankie he knows that he almost went home, and they made him nervous so he needs to stick with the person who has the power. I don’t trust Zach and since he can’t hold water he runs and tells Caleb EVERYTHING that was said to him…who runs and tell Derrick (I swear this is the manliest game of telephone that I’ve ever seen) The four of them are in the bathroom talking and it’s hilarious…Frankie is on everyone’s shit list

Derrick goes to drop a little knowledge on Nicole. They are going to try to throw the BotB competition because everyone wants Frankie to go home and Caleb wants to avenge his lady love (I can’t believe that he’s still stuck on Amber)

NOMINATIONS Christine nominated Donny and Zach while Nicole nominated Caleb and Frankie (who is shocked!) and the other houseguest can hardly contain their glee. Zach is super pissed  and calls Christine and Frankie “Fuckin Liars”…. ladies and gentlemen #Zrankie is over. Frankie follows Zach all around the house trying to get him to talk to him, it’s so annoying and it looks like Zach is gonna hit Frankie.

THE MOST DRAMTIC BATTLE OF THE BLOCK EVER! – Big Brother

ARE YOU READYFOR SOME FOOTBALL Was I the only one to notice how super excited Derrick was for this competition? Because it’s CBS and the promote this shit out of their stuff… big-brother-16-wk07-botb-02this competition was one big gigantic promotion for CBS to acquire the rights to air Thursday night football. The winning pair (as well and the winning Head of Household) will leave the Big Brother house for a VIP tailgating experience. There were a couple of things right off the bat that had me miffed (and no I’m not talking about the 4 hour delay of the BotB comp, but rather the sparkly rouge Frankie decided was a good idea and the odd looking Fu Manchu that Caleb created with his eye black.

Poor Caleb, he has the worst game face and refuses to look Frankie in the eye. Frankie tries to talk him out of throwing the competition (uhm… how did he know?) so naturally Caleb mentions Amber. Zach jumps in while Caleb is giving Frankie the business and so he essentially has to go this one all alone. Frankie is officially public enemy #1. Caleb was determined to throw the competition so Frankie would still be an eviction target. Caleb had promised he would actually sit down on the ground during the challenge and not do anything. Christine had no idea that Caleb was gonna throw the competition; like someone was supposed to pull he to the side and tell her (Girl, they are using you, they tell you what you need to know, when you need to know it).

THAT’S WHY I BEAST-MODE COWBOY, THEY DON’T CALL ME THAT FOR NOTHING – Caleb

In the beginning Frankie is struggling but he was able to go to-to –toe with Donny/Zach when Frankie pus ahead Caleb get’s nervous, and decides to see if he can do better alone….nope, that didn’t work so Donny comes back to help In the end Frankie was able to win the competition…. And I honestly thought that Frankie was having an orgasm; the screams! “That’s for you Grandpa, That’s for you Ariana, “That’s for you Team Grande!”…Guess he’s lucky the Big Brother Battle of the Block challenge this time apparently didn’t need both team members to participate.So Caleb and Frankie won the Battle of the Block, which pissed off Caleb to no end. Zach and Donny remain as this week’s eviction nominees for now. Christine is now the sole Head of Household since her nominees lost. Christine, Caleb and Frankie will be heading out of the house to the game on Thursday night. Words were exchanged between Zach and Cody with Frankie replying, “I’m a liar, but I’m safe”

Zach totally called Frankie out in front of all the guys for screwing him over. Frankie essentially owned it that he’s a big liar and just got called out for it. Zach admitted that he loves Frankie as a person, but he hates him as a game player because Zach was completely loyal to him and Frankie didn’t respond with that loyalty. Zach even called him out for the lie about the Detonators being started this week. Derrick tried to get them to go behind closed doors to hash it out, but Zach doesn’t care. He has no problem blowing up everyone’s games and exposing everything to everyone, and no one seems to know how to handle it.

THE “SECRET” IS OUT Well Frankie finally came clean about being related to Ariana Grande on Friday. He also told houseguests about his popularity as a YouTube personality. Don’t think that he did it because he wanted to come clean… he told People before he entered into the house. “I don’t think it is something that will win me points with the jury if I blindside them with it at voting night, so I would probably want to slip it in before the jury starts getting evicted.” I know that this is an unpopular opinion, but I don’t like Frankie, he’s a shit starter, I say it all the time, but what bother’s me most is how production panders him, after his grandfather died I seriously lost any goodwill I had towards him… I honestly don’t think I’ve hated another houseguest since Aaryn “I talk like a racist, but I’m not one” Gries. After hearing Frankie talk about building schools in Africa, discussing the entire Grande lineage, I finally asked my self was he actually eulogizing his grandfather like production allowed him to do, or was he selling himself to America? So nothing bring me more pleasure (Schadenfreude…. I know) then finally seeing him getting caught up and confronted on his shit.

Frankie, you got some ‘splaing to do

Now you see what was on the live feeds/BBAD and now let me tell you what I think happened (Starts to play conspiracy theory music). Double eviction is a roller coaster, and its very unpredictable, that not even Big Brother production knows what’s gonna happen, and honestly if things had gone a certain way then Frankie could have gone home, so why not invite his sister to the show, naturally Julie took the opportunity to take a selfie with her… wonder if she took photos with the other audience members.. When all the hoopla happened and Frankie’s underhandedness was reveled, and Caleb started talking about how he was gonna sit out and throw the Battle of the Block competition Frankie was called into the Diary Room (and was in there for a long while) and when he came out (like the heaven’s opened  more like the production staff gave him an indication that someone may throw the competition) and he instantly started asking Caleb about whether or not he was gonna throw the competition.. so we are waiting around… for the competition and it’s late…I think The Power Than Be got nervous that their “pet project” Frankie would be going home and so would his followers who are defiantly contributing to the ratings of the show.  And changed the structure of the game so that the competition would be able to be played with one and to players. I also think that production nudged Frankie into telling them him “secret”. Frankie has been hyping this “exciting” news all day.. (who the fuck thought this was exciting new besides Frankie and Production?)BIG BROTHER

I THOUGHT THAT ARI WAS A DUDE – Derrick

Before Frankie got ready to tell everyone he keep saying, “are you ready?” and at first I thought that h was talking to the other house guests but then I got the feeling that he was speaking to production, after preparing himself, and lots of dramatic pauses he told the his secret. He also revealed that he had 1.5 million Twitter followers ( as of this Wednesday 13th he has 707K on Twitter, 817,626 on Instagram , 7,200 on Facebook and 267,930 on YouTube ) now I have to wonder how many of these are new people since he said his twitter, Instagram and YouTube handle at least 6 times., and  I guess if you add those numbers up you could get 1.5 million…. but he specifically said on Twitter  which proves he’s a liar (shocking I know) but then he described himself as a “YouTube star” and “social media mogul.”and I nearly died… social media mogul (I think that might be offensive to people like Ted Turner and Les Moonves)… Bull Shit Frankie…..BULL SHIT!!

Now according the the Big Brother Gossip the announcement was so well coordinated, the CBSTweet twitter page even mentions it at 10:13pm Friday night, Pacific time. That meant production was most likely in on the whole thing. At that very moment, Frankie had already begun his revelation to Derrick, Cody, Caleb, and Zach. Frankie had revealed who he was on the feeds by 10:05pm. Eight minutes later, CBSTweets is posting about something that “may” happen that already has happened. Frankie has told the Houseguests that they can nominate him and evict him because of this information if they have to, but he hopes they don’t. Well, the HGs did nominate him and try to evict him before they knew about this, so I don’t think this information is gonna give you any bit of grace…

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I don’t find anything authentic about Frankie… and everything he says I think everything he’s said has been planned, prepared and is all for show. Do I think his secret will help him in the long run….nope. But seriously I wonder if he wins will he ever build those schools in Africa…. which honestly is odd, because he made no mention of this charity/building schools in Africa during his interviews, I also tried to look up the charity that he mentioned, but came up empty (if anyone finds it please forward the link to me). The Organization BuildOn has honored him in the past. And you can click here to donate, because I don’t think Frankie will be able to donate that Big Brother money like he planned.

“Your game is dirtier than a dildo that just came out of my ass” – Frankie J. Grande

Zach is visibly upset after hearing Frankie’s news he’s starts to cry because he thinks that he won’t win America’s favorite houseguest (I actually feel bad for him, he he was never gonna win that title)

TEAM AMERICA received their mission either Work together to convince someone to go on up as a pawn and have them evicted or Have each member of Team America create and name a fake side alliance with the person that they trust the least. considering all the drama that’s going on in the house they both seem a little impossible at the moment. Everyone one trusts Frankie the least so they can’t go and make a side alliance with… doesn’t he already have a  fake side alliance with everyone in the house already? In the end Team America declined to do the mission and honestly I think it might be time to let Team America die.

THE HAVE-NOTS Christine got to pick two Have-Nots for the week and she chose Donny and Zach, aka the two people she nominated and who are on the block. Smart, but mean, though she used the excuse that they have done it the least. They also have “Peanut Butter and Jellyfish” to eat, meaning peanut butter plus fish sticks and fish filets, and honestly, that’s not bad at all… peanut and fish have protein, so they’ll be fine and can totally eliminate slop this week if they chose

CHRISTINE AND HER FLIRTING One thing I often wonder when watching Big Brother is how do spouses and significant others feel/deal with seeing their better half cuddling up to someone else. I get that this is a game, iF1YSykbut while houseguest are doing (what the feel )they need to do to win this game; real life is happening outside the Big Brother House. There has always ben light flirting in the house, but recently I have had to ask my self, “Did Christine forget abut her husband Tim back home, cause some girl has gone way beyond the line…. well I’m glad I’m not the only one; most notably Tim Brecht (the husband) and his father

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It’s been said that Tim is no longer watching the live feeds and has taken a hiatus from Twitter for the time being. I honestly hope the strife with her husband is worth it, because Nicole is not gonna win this game.

OTEV (THE PISSED OF PENGUIN) Hawaiian themed and insults (because he’s sweaty and wants a drink)… two of my favorite things in the world, OTEV finally made an appearance this season! bb16-episode-22-07-veto-comp-00One of the higher gods of the Big Brother house appeared in the form of a Penguin with the voice of Gilbert Gottfried. “I’m OTEV, the pissed-off penguin!” he declared. OTEV was feeling rather hot; he needed a drink, something that constituted a hilarious pun on the names of absent houseguests. So he ordered a Brittany Sour, a Jocasta-kaze, a Devin & Devin, a Paola Colada, and finally, an Amberita.  Zach wins, and saves himself!! while Donny gives the most depressing voice-over so far this season, “My fate is in the hands of morons”

Derrick decides that Nicole needs to be put on the block when Zach comes down. Caleb makes it sound like Nicole is the biggest liar in the house, telling them she’s working with Christine. They also hand out a veiled threat that if she doesn’t put Nicole up, she’s out next week, now this is significant because Christine promised Nicole that if she lost her Head of Household status that she would not backdoor her.

POWER OF VETO At the veto ceremony, Christine says she is going to take the knife out of her back and return it to its owner knowing it can’t be used again and nominates Nicole. OH HOW I HOPE LIKE HELL NICOLE RETURNS AND GETS RID OF CHRISTINE! Christine is being used hardcore, while she busy playing the part of the villain she’s letting the guys use her to do their dirty work. And when she’s done as much as she can, they are gonna stab her in the back. Christine is living in a house full of dogs , she’s gonna get fleas.. but she’s ignoring the obvious signs Good Luck Girl! Nicole and her whiny voice begins a day or so of non-stop crying…

big-brother-zach-2#Zrankie has gotten back together; well that’s not exactly true, Frankie thinks they are all good, but Zach is only using him to progress in the game and to ultimately evict him net week. Zach is in the mood for sharing he tells Victoria about the alliances (because I think she’s the only one at this point that doesn’t know). To say that she is shocked would be an understatement, and to say that she is hurt would be another one. she doesn’t seem to care about what is going on with other people, but she’s seriously upset about Derrick and the fact that he lied to her, and In she keeps repeating that to Zach…. which leads Zach to wonder if they were ever in an alliance… Victoria keeps denying it, and keeps say, “I feel so stupid”… but Zach pretty much knows.

In order to cover his tracks Derrick tells Nicole spilled the beans to Victoria (way to throw her under the bus) Derrick puts on his detective hat and goes off to investigate after talking with Victoria and Nicole (who tell them that Zach is lying and he was the one who told Victoria) calls for Zach into the HOH room so they can all be on the same page. Derrick must have some mighty fine interrogation skills, because Zach folds and admits that’s he’s a liar; but then tries to turn it on to victoria .. maybe I missed something but I don’t know what the whole point of this was any way, but it was freaking hilarious. Derrick is like a mob boss… he quietly orders people around to do his dirty work, while he sits on the couch rubbing his douche-stach… I’m sure his cop friends are so proud of him.

Nicole isn’t buying that Christine was pressured into sending her home. Victoria and Nicole have a little pow-wow and Nicole laments that she really wanted to see Zing-bot . Nicole starts campaigning around the house, by insisting that Donny secretly has targets and everyone already knows who her targets are. Victoria feels like is Nicole is evicted she and Christine will ne the next ones out of the door. Nicole and Cody feel like Donny is skating by, Nicole is doing her best to stay in the house. Word moves around that Donny wants to send Derrick and Cody home. Derrick has his own reason for keeping Donny in the house (Team America) but since they haven’t ben completing missions that secret alliance is as good as dead, besides he didn’t hesitate trying to backdoor Frankie..

According to Big Brother Network the majority of the readers feel that Nicole will be exiting this the Big Brother House this week. I tend to agree (and I don’t think the poll has been incorrect yet). But poor Donny I swear every week he’s sitting in that chair, why do people underestimate him, don’t they know that his beard has magical powers?

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Caleb, Frankie and Christine got a VIP experience with the Dallas Cowboys…. for some reason I thought that they would be leaving today during the live show. As soon as Caleb finds out that they are seeing the Cowboys the ultimate fan-boying begins. He got to meet Jerry Jones and was completely in awe (and I thought that it was kind of cute) Naturally CBS used this as yet another opportunity to mention Thursday Night Football (because all the commercials that CBS has been shoving down our throats is simply not enough)

OH MY GOD, I LOVE COUNTRY FOLK – Frankie

EVICTION With a vote of 6-0 Nicole was evicted from the Big Brother house and joins Hayden and Jocasta in the jury house. I will say that I’m shocked that Victoria voted for her…. guess she’s ready to go home… cause I’m pretty sure she’ll be the net one on the block.

DEAD of HOUSEHOLD The Zombie Apocalypse has hit Big Brother. Zombies visited the house appearing in the mirrors and scarring the hell out of Nicole. Frankie’s reaction was priceless, he screamed and grabbed his breasts.The competition was based on information they received overnight.  Caleb was the first one to be eliminated (Chilltown?…. Really!!). Donny , Victoria followed, leaving the Detonators up (so we already have a pretty good idea who two of the nominees are going to be), in the end Frankie of Derrick are the Heads of Household

NOTABLES

  • The Big Brother 16 finale date has been announced. Big Brother 16’s finale will be on Wednesday September 24th from 9:30-11:00 PM ET, following the premiere of Survivor. That means that it will be the longest season ever, spanning 97 days. Big Brother 15 was the longest season to date, spanning 90 days. Given the number of houseguests remaining, following this week’s double eviction, a single houseguest could be evicted each Thursday the rest of the way to leave us at the Final 3 on September 18th.
  • From Julie’s not so subtle hinting a houseguest will be returning to the house.
  • Despite the fact that I find his past behavior sickening, I have found more patience for Caleb since Amber’s left the house, and I don’t totally dislike him, or his new hair cut.
  • Jocasta totally throwing her mother under the bus, by blaming her for her game play… hilarious
  • Hayden calling out Frankie and Nicole on their under handedness
  • I want to burn Zach’s ugly sweater and socks
  • I actually like Caleb the Stalker this week
  • It might be time for Derrick to be nominated, after all he;s never been on the block
  • Derrick and Caleb get away from the drama with absolutely no blood on their hands..

I’m excited about what’s gonna happen this week… since the heard is thinning, I’m sure there are some Detonators that are nervous about being put on the block as pawns…. should be fun to watch..

Videos courtesy of J-Bird and photos courtesy of CBS

Until Next Time….

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