Out of Breath

Writing

 

Writing Prompt: We all seem to insist on how busy, busy, busy we constantly are. Let’s put things in perspective: tell us about the craziest, busiest, most hectic day you’ve had in the past decade.

I am one of those kind of people who don’t realize how busy I am until the end . I guess it’s my way of focusing on what I’m doing and plowing through… but on those days that are super busy and mentally and physically exhausting I usually spend the next day in bed, while every single inch of my body is in pain… wondering how I got here.

When I’m ill, everything is busy, hectic and crazy. (This is the first time I’m sharing this story outside of my “circle”) The day that I should probably say that while waiting for my second liver transplant I had lost a lot of weight, and had a major issue with ascites in my abdomen, and I was walking around looking like I was 8 months pregnant, just moving around made my heart feel like it was pounding out side of my chest. My brother wanted to see me, and wanted us to do something together, and after putting him off for weeks, I figured it was time to piss or get off the pot.

So I met him at the mall, he wanted to buy shoes and we just walked around and talked, catching up, I can remember now how he looked at me, like I was gonna pass out any minute, and he kept asking me if I was okay, After about 90 minutes I needed to sit down, so we went to Applebees, for the life of me I’m not sure why I suggested going somewhere to eat, I hadn’t put food in my month for a month (my stomach was so filled with fluid, there really was no room for food at this point). I don’t remember the conversation we had, but I do remember thanking him for finally getting me out of the house.

A few hours later I went home beyond exhausted, I went to the bathroom (you ever have one of those days when you are so tired you have to sit on the toilet for 20 minutes) just to rest. And all of the sudden my cousin is knocking on the bathroom door, “Tyra, someone is on the phone for you” I can’t even use the bathroom in peace, and I told her, “Can you tell them, I’ll call them back?”, she was like, “You need to take this call” and I was pissed, so I opemed the door and with an attitude only I can have said, “Hello….” and the words that I had heard once before, “Tyra, we have a liver for you”. It’s hard even now to write about this day (I’m actually crying as I write this) I got the biggest burst of energy that I’d had in months… that call was Godsent. Just the day before I called my mother in tears, I was at my lowest point, literally felt myself dying and I just knew that I wasn’t gonna make it… I felt it deep in my soul. I was 30 years old and knew that I was gonna die soon, and my mother (and my brother) just told me to hold on, for just one more day….

Anyone who’s ever had a transplant understands, just getting to the hospital is crazy, no ,matter how calm you are… my aunt, my cousin, and her daughter were all in the car, my mom was coming from Chicago, and even though I had been through this before you expect for things to move fast, but  we waiting for hours, every pre-transplant test I took I had to retest, them a surgeon came in and said, that my donor was in the hospital and they were waiting for the other teams to come in to harvest. The nurse came in and gave me something that would “relax” me, then I remember my mother coming in….3 days later I woke up in ICU with a ventilator on wondering what time it is.

(And once again I completely high jacked the prompt and didn’t answer this question)

Until Next Time,

tyra signature

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