What The F*ck? – TOWIE Ep. 11

Is this show over yet? So much unnecessary drama…another round of foolishness and f*ckery from my favorite overly tan, overly inflated Brits. So for those  two people who actually read my TOWIE posts these are for you..  Season 12 posts can be found here: 1-45-6 , 7, 8 , 9 and 10. This post photos are courtesy of Holy Moly

In the last episode Arg and  and burger nipples got their heart broken when Lydia (pretty much) told him to close his damn mouth closed….everyone doesn’t really need to know that they are having sex, and they are no longer friends with benefits, and of course there was a a wedding and love was in the air in Spain and in Essex where Gemma had a blind date with a younger man who she had previously kissed before (and totally forgot)

Here we go….

Episode 11Arg and the Wedding”

Wait Arg is finally moving out, I thought that he found a place last season…. well good for him, he sure didn’t forget to pack his “I Love Lydia” scrapbook with him. Pat inquires about how things went in Spain, Arg things overall they went well but now another girl has come out of the wood work and said that something that happened between her and Arg three years ago so now Lydia isn’t talking to him again. His mom thinks there are only so many times a person can say sorry (I tend to agree, but how about not cheating so you don’t have to say sorry all the time… just a thought)

Gemma can always rely on Bobbie for a good rub down. Gemma exclaims that she’s not desperate (wish I could insert a picture of my face) and Bobby agrees, then in the next breathe she happily mentions that she’s having lunch with Arg (cause we all know that she still has feelings for him…. and I seriously don’t understand why) apparently he’s finally cashing in on the date that he “won” at Gemma’s Bingo party…. (now we get ,more deets on Arg’s discretion) rumor has it that Arg had a threesome (once again I wish you could see my face) I agree with Gemma, if he’s so serious (or wants to be serious) with Lydia why is it so difficult for him to grow up?

Chloe, Greasy!Elliot and Ricky are at a restaurant having a chat about the wedding. I will say that it’s nice that Ricky and Elliot have out their difference aside, well enough to gossip…okay let me get this right Carole had a little too much to drink and the wedding and Leah and her ad words… which is awful, no one wants to reign in their drunk aunt at their wedding. So Elliot decides it a good idea to video chat with his sister on her honeymoon, because that’s always a good time to chat about family dysfunction. Leah tells them she hasn’t spoken to Carole or Jessica since the wedding and she feels bad about it and would have preferred to avoid the entire situation… I’m sure Carole and Jessica will be telling their side of the story… but good thing is Ricky says he’s not gonna get involved (which is good… someone of this show can finally mind their own ITV_t_TOWIEe072814business)

Lydia stops by to visit her sister Georgia who sitting in the garden reading her magazine. I will say this … I really do like Lydia’s hair, I think that she looks so much better with her hair darker and toned down makeup . apparently the sisters haven’t been talking over Lydia’s decision to get back together with Arg…the thought of them having sex makes Georgia sick to her stomach (I’m agree) . Must have made for awkward family dinners, since mom is clearly “Team Arg”  Georgia reminds Lydia that Arg is a pathological liar and you may never know how many people he has slept with.

Another person on TOWIE has opened a store… what is it with these assholes opening stores? this time it’s Danni and she’s naming her store… Danni (how original) . Useless!Jasmin is there and so is Dumb!Dan along with Locke… and honestly I think the only thing he has done so far was laugh.. Useless!Jasmin jokes that none of the mannequinsITV_t_TOWIEp072814 looks like her, while Dan says she should just stand in the window …  God Lord, here we go another party… and another fashion show…. cause we I agree she has the personality of a mannequin I get that they come from well off backgrounds, but seriously it feels like every person on the show has a shop, yet we rarely see them working in said shop…just standing around holding clothes… well this time it’s Danni, and she get’s her friends to help her with the store opening of her new shop she unimaginatively named Danni….

Lauren stops by Lewis bachelor pad that he’s currently sprucing up with a fresh coat of paint, although she’s not helping, she is instructing him about proper painting etiquette.
Naturally things after you normal., so they have to start talking about someone. Lewis thinks that Danni was rude to Lauren, and Lauren in all her blondness just doesn’t get it.

Carole popped over to Jessica’s to gossip, when finally hear more about what happened at the wedding, Arg apparently was joking a bit too far with Carole (Arg goes a bit too far with everyone) Carole blames Arg for everything as she says, “he’s not intelligent enough to think before he speaks”…ouch! Ricky joins the conversation and the Arg blame continues… I really want to hear what Arg has to say about this, but I have to say I’m super impressed that Ricky is keeping his mouth closed.

Debbie joins her daughters to talk about Arg… seems like everyone is talking about him today.. I wonder if his ears are burning? Georgia thinks that Arg can’t ever do anything bad in his eyes.  Georgia finds it very bizarre that Debbie has such a good relationship with Arg, after all the horrible things that he ‘’s done to her daughter, honestly I have to agree…  if you cheat and humiliate my daughter, you can’t just call for a chat and pop over for some tea asking me what you need to do to get her back…I like this Georgia … she makes a lot of sense.

WAIT I’m confused! Jessica designs clothing? How did I miss that? I thought that she was a singer…Ricky and Jess are in her studio. Ricky is looking over sketches; that I’m sure she paid someone else to draw and she playing with clothing… what is it with everybody, you get on television for five  minutes and instantly you’re a designer, or a stylist… like are you for real, but I forget that all these people come from privileged backgrounds maybe their way of contributing to the world is through fashion (totally sounds like something Vas would say). The wedding continues to be topic of conversation.  Ricky convinces Jessica to call Leah in Spain while she’s still on her honeymoon… and she wants to know how Leah is feeling about the whole wedding situation. Leah sounds a bit standoffish, she doesn’t want to talk to Jessica and it’s totally clear. She has a right to b upset. people were acting an ass at her wedding, her friends and family were acting an ass.. I would be pissed off at the whole lot of them, but I think that Jessica feels like it wasn’t her fault and Leah shouldn’t be made at her…. now let me ask you this, why do they keep calling her on her honeymoon? Honestly I would have waited until the situation cooled down and contacted her when she returned home, but this is TOWIE so you gotta have a bot of drama for the cameras.

Over at the deli (man I’m hungry) Chloe and Charlie are talking about the wedding… cause that’s all people are talking about the wedding and Arg. Chloe and Elliot have only been together for 8 weeks… she calls him her soul mate (are you serious?… already?)

SKATING!!! Tom, Fran and Diags (cause you know Tom is always there) and wait Lydia is there to, so it’s not totally awkward… how long do you think it’s gonna talk for the conversation to get to Arg? As long as it took me to type that last sentence… Lydia tells the gang that she and Arg had an argument, and if I didn’t love Diags more he says what everyone who is watching this show said “what else I new” .  Naturally his boys have his back and Lydia is still feeling the pressure between her family and her feelings.

Gemma and Arg on having their date at  Burger Bar and naturally they are talking about him and his threesome and how it’s affecting his relationship with Lydia.. Trust issues….blah, blah, blah. Gemma thinks that it karma biting him back in the ass. Gemma is giving him some hard core advice to go and finally get his woman. Lay it on the line ITV_t_TOWIEa072814and if she rejects you, it’s time to walk away and finally move on. While they are enjoying their meal Georgia (Lydia’s sister) walks in and from the look on Gemma’s face I know that a conversation is gonna be had…Georgia really want  Arg to take a step back before he really hurts Lydia (hasn’t he already done that… many times?) Arg seems remorseful and really confused about why Lydia is upset about old news… the issue remains trust. (I can’t get over the eye rolling coming from Gemma) Arg needs to learn to stand up for his self, all he keeps saying is “I’m sorry”. Georgia doesn’t seem all that convinced, and honestly I’m not either if he loves Lydia like he’s telling everyone he should have spoken up a little bit more

I never knew how long and lanky Vas was until I saw him on skates. Lauren and Vas discuss Danni’s opening and both of the are confused about why she has drama with Lauren..

Danni is modeling her clothing and I had a serious flashback of Amy ad her modeling days. That party is gonna be glamorous and all about fashion. we finally learn why Danni is so pissy with Lauren, apparently Lauren has been “muggy” towards her… well yeah, you made her gay best friend cry… I would  muggy with you to.  Danni doesn’t appreciate that Lauren was making fun of her behind her back

It’s party time… or should I say drama time (whenever there’s a party you know drama is right behind it). Danni is wear this chocker that is huge, at first glance I thought that it was a harness… geez. Lockie (newly bald ass and all) is happy that’s able to share this with Danni (cause you know she’s forgiven him and he signed the relationship contract and everything). Lewis seems woefully underdressed and since he’s totally in love with Lauren he feels the need to go and defend Lauren, which hasn’t he learned that she should stay out of it when it concerns the girls. Arg tells Greasy!Elliot and Ricky that Lydia has trust issues when it comes to him and thinks that he’s a compulsive liar… I do too honestly, Arg lies about EVERYTHING! Lydia is outside having second thoughts about seeing Arg, so she decides to go home, she doesn’t want to deal with him; which means Arg is gonna have to go to her place and beg.

Chloe is in the bathroom applying her makeup and Ferne walks in… I don’t know what’s gonna happen but I’m super excited to see the two of them on the screen together..  I will say that Ferne looks really pretty in her dress… both are standing in the mirror and they both exchange awkward complements with one another… boo-hoo I was hoping ITV_t_TOWIEj072814for one final show down with the two of them… yay for maturity (sarcasm!) While Danni is dismissing the extras her models.. Lauren walk up ready to join the party, but it’s over… she says that she’s just coming to pick up Lewis, and Danni thinks it’s a good time to have conversation…. honestly they are talking so fast I can’t even follow… Danni tells Lauren there’s a reason she doesn’t have friends and she’s totally irreverent.

Jessica is on a war path … and it leads right to Arg. Arg says that he had a few drinks and they  (Carole) always go back and forth, apparently him calling Carole a pushy mom was a bit to much… let’s be honest Carole is a bit pushy… have we forgotten how she was during the whole Wrights vs. Ricky situation…this family loves to gang up on people. All of this bull shit over a microphone and letting someone sing.. it’s ridiculous. Elliot being a stand up guy tells Jessica that Arg can’t be blamed for the entire situation (EXACTLY!!) . Carole was drunk and started talking crap to Leah..here’s a word of advice… don’t drink so much. Maybe someone should ask Leah who she thinks is to blame??

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Until Next Time….

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