What The F*ck?–Summer Reality Special

This is my favorite time of the year when it comes to reality tv… it’s Big Brother…Three months of a group of strangers trapped in a house who “stop being polite and start being real”…. wait!! That’s the wrong show…the tag line should be “People picked by producers, who are plied with alcohol and act like idiots” (no judgments).. On top of that TOWIE is back! So you know that I have opinions…

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I really feel like CBS has been doing the most with promoting this season, after the shit storm that was last year’s season. I think overall my opinions of the houseguest from the very first  show have been spot on… of course you’ve got the group of girls who think they are super cute and gonna come in a manipulate the groups with their looks……doubt it. The you got the over juiced, over pumped guys who think they are God’s gift to women and gonna rule to roost… doubt it…. What I think that nobody thought before was how (for the most part) how seriously bad most of these players are. I’m looking at you Joey and Devin.

As I write this the first eviction of the house guests is looming and I gotta say I’m having mixed feelings. I REALLY like Joey, but she’s has proven to not having a good game play strategy and Paola who when I first heard her voice I wanted her out of the house; but she’s shown that she’s somewhat mentally weak and that might make her a target as a ploy for other houseguests. I will say that if Joey leaves it will be interesting what happens to Team America (Which let me say that I’m shocked that Frankie (Go Home or Go Grande) wasn’t the first pick.

But can we talk about the shit storm that happened last night? (I have live feeds… so beware of spoilers)

It’s clear from the beginning that Caleb has stalker tendencies, this guy has been going around the house talking to anyone who will listen about his one-sided relationship with Amber, I mean seriously this dude is already planning on her meeting his parents… on more than one on occasion he’s mentioned him and Amber are gonna have  a long distance relationship … so it’s beyond clear that he’s this year GinaMarie. He causally mentioned that if Amber rebuked him she would be the next one  out of the door… What The F*ck?! It’s clear that the country boy who claims to be metrosexual *blank stare* is a misogynist freakazoid who needs therapy… and right beside him would be Devin… who let’s be honest is probably the worst player in BB history. They man can’t hold water…

I get that these people have been put in extraordinary situations and emotions run high, but come on brah… you on the verge of tears every damn hour…. that is when you’re not concocting you theories on other house guests. And he’s a damn shit starter…. Last night Devin spoke with Amber her “bad mouthing” Caleb.  Devin made Amber angry and really freaked her out. Later  Frankie and a couple of the girls convince Amber to talk to Caleb and tell him that Devin is making up shit she never said… Amber is upset, Caleb is having a boys pow wow, and Devin… wakes up Donny while he’s sleeping (he loves doing that crap) to cry and to ask for forgiveness

Crazy Train Coming Through….

Devin knows he’s a target and no one really likes him (because he’s crazy as F*ck!)…. Brah it’s time to self evict!!! Seriously Brah…..

But back to Donny for a minute, I love him… he’s my favorite!

I will say that nothing makes my heart happier than watching; this time it’s extra special I get to watch The Only Way is Essex Marbs Sepcial as well… Hulu is taking it’s dear sweet time and I needed to see them NOW! I’m completely caught up …. and I swear I can’t get enough of the bad tans and equally bad plastic surgery…

Before we being Marbella is seriously must be getting the biggest boast in tourism due to this show… I mean come on; I want to go know.

So I’m pretty much gonna be live blogging the next few episodes (guess it’s not really live blogging….but whatever!)

Marbs Special :Episodes 1

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“Let It All Hang Out”

What The F*ck? One of the first thing I’m greeted with was Bobby’s dimples as in a monokini… is that what it’s called… and wait Shut Up!! Is that…. it is OMG! It’s Harry  in a matching white one. I don’t know weather to laugh or cry at the the sheer audacity of these guys. I guess anything goes in Marbs.

Motherhood has really made me like Billie more, she seems more grounded and happier, and although her schedule is probably gonna slow down to due to her impeding birth; but she’s really looking fantastic pregnancy really does suit her (plus seeing her makes me miss her sister)

Last time I wrote about the TOWIE crew the I said that Elliot needed to find a storyline… and boy did he…. his new story line is named Chloe (color me shocked)… I never even thought that they were that close… clearly I was very wrong. But they both seem happy (but she seemed really happy when she was with Mario) with Elliot

Why is Jasmine Still on the show? Seriously what value is she added besides annoying the hell out of viewers…..

So clearly I missed something, I thought that the reason Laruen and Chloe were no longer speaking was because of Mario  but Lauren said something about Chloe talking shit about her behind her back…. whaaa??

Best line of the entire episode, “This is really making me feel less chic, and I don’t like it”…. my thoughts exactly Vas… Despite the frosty greeting between the former best friend Vas has come in and given everyone the business fashion wise…. seriously who wears that to the pool…. he walks in with his white jacket and shorts… with his jacket on his shoulders like a cap…

Why is Gemma always in the middle of something. It’s clear that Gemma enjoys the drama, I have always said that, I have also been on the record saying that Gemma and Bobby have a seriously codependent relationship. It’s hard being very close friends who two people in a relationship, especially when they discuss issues with their partner with you, but Gemma should seriously learn how to say , “I don’t want to know about anything that is going on between the two of you… I don’t want to be apart of it” but of course she didn’t so they are in this weird mess

Once again the ongoing cluster-f*ck that is Fern and Charlie have begun again. This time it’s a Vegas video..  Maybe it’s me and my loose American ways (I haven’t seen the video) but from the description of the video it didn’t seem like that big of a deal. So naturally if there is a video the entire TOWIE crew knows and they have something to say.. did I miss them getting back together? Which means lines will be drawn, shit will be talked behind backs, and Fern will ugly cry…. will this continue for the rest of the season?

I honestly think that Lydia would have taken James back, all he had to do was act right, own up to his mistakes and t a take his head out of his ass… that didn’t happen…   but what did happen was he complemented her on her hair and told her that her boobs looked bigger….*blank stare* so once again he’s gonna get put in the friend-zone

Then we end the episode with the most awkward party in Marbella’s history… (more awkward than Harry’s hair and Bobby’s eye brows put together)

This whole time I was wondering where Mario was…. apparently he’s got his on drama…. wow! And Apparently James too…. what the heck is going on? Remember to Just Say No to Drugs!!

Marbs Special : Episode 2

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“Shit Continues To Hit The Fan”

Harry and Gemma argue with each other… at this point it’s hard to figure out who is telling the truth…What I want to know is who suggested the P.I.? Seriously who does that?

Chloe and Fern get into it… I swear I LIVE for this argument… the word slag was thrown left and right and Fern told Chloe to go eat something.,…This is another example of when a person needs to stay out of it…. it was only last episode that Chloe was telling Fern how great she was… and the next they are arguing and nearly coming to blows…. guess that’s how the cookie crumbles in reality land

Who the hell are these new girls? Robyn and Imogen…. we have enough people on this show taking up space… I hope that they prove themselves entertaining,

A little too late Arg….. go away. I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but I might actually like Lydia… but I swear the very first time her make-up annoys me our tenuous love affair will be over.

WAIT A minute!!! Hold up! Useless Jasmin and Bird Brain Dan slept together? Was this before or after he said he didn’t have feelings for her or think of her as more than a friend…Dan did have a point Jas has been with a lot of people… bus crap so has the entire cast, they all date/ mess around with each other… it’s almost incestual …yuck!

And there we have it folks the first drink throw of the season…. I wonder if producers actually suggest the cast do this..

Holy Cow Gemma…love the nails!!!

Harry…. you slept with you ex, you stupid, stupid boy! Don’t mess this up I actually like Harry and Bobby together I really hope they work it out.. OMG I can’t believe that I nearly teared up at the scene…this is breaking my heart.. BBBBBAAAAAAARRRRRRRYYYYYYYY!!!

Is that swimsuit apart of the Gemma Collins collection? It’s adorable I actually love it

Seriously from here to Eternity? What in the actually F*ck is happening here?

Let’s take a minute to talk about this Fern and Charlie situation (again”) I don’t doubt that they love each other, but I am am firm believer that just because you love someone doesn’t meant that you need to be with them. He’s cheated on her, she’s cheated on him… they break up and get back together… it’s a really bad cycle…. honestly I think it’s time for them to break it off once and for all and try to gain a little dignity back in their lives. Although their friends might not see their relationship as a joke… the viewers certainly do

Episode 3

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“Life After Marbs”

Billie!

Oh Dear God Debbie is back, is there something in the contract that says that if Lydia comes back to do her wild haired mum? So naturally she’s got the TOWIE mums and of course my favorite Nanny Pat) over for afternoon tea and bit of gossip about their stupid children… when can they get their own special… OMG! This is the first time we’ve seen Harry’s mom…. wow they look alike.
Joan; those have got to be the tackiest ear rings I have ever seen, and that’s a lot because I’m seen all the seasons of TOWIE…. did anyone see the final look that Karen gave Joan… looks like there might be more to be said about their children

Despite my personal feelings about Arg, one thing that I do still love about him is the fact that like me and millions of others he struggles with his weight and like Gemma he’s not afraid to put his struggles out there

How many times do they say literally? …I swear they misuse that darn word

Is this the first time that we are seeing Chloe’s Beauty Bar? I’m digging the décor…. but what is it with people bringing drama to people’s place of business/work….. wait until they are at home or on the street. I just think that it’s bad form.

Wait Charlie has  a business? Charlie’s Delicatessen. I 100% support this.. Seriously. OMG! Corn Beef Sandwiches and Matzo Ball soup…. yummy! Wait their businesses are right across this street … how cute!!

Harry needs to stop being stupid and get back with Bobby…. but damn it Gemma is still at it…. apparently she’s calling Harry’s ex to find out what really happened… *sigh* Seriously girl you need to let this go and let the guys deal with this…

It’s Georgia Birthday…. I might actually have to take back what I said… this might actually be the most awkward party of the season… I think the question is Did Georgia sleep with Dan… personally I think she did (hell I would) plus have we really forgotten that little  thing that her a Jasmin were doing trying to win the affections of Dan…. seriously girls… come on! What exactly is the theme of this party? Cause everywhere I look I see pink , spandex and tacky….

Gemma there is a such thing as Karma… I won’t feel bad when it comes back around… learn to stay out of people’s business..

Oh My God…. I just figured it out…. was the party a Barbie theme? I figured it out after looking at Harry

Dinner of the dueling headbands…..For someone who said thy were gonna stay out of it I’m shocked that he has opened Elliot opened his mouth…Geez! SHUT UP ELLIOT!

Episode 4

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“Bitch Stole My Look”

Life continues to go one in Essex, seems like everyone is recovering from the shit storm that was Georgia’s party.. We are seeing a lot of Fran, but where the heck is Diags? Elliot is doing the cleaning at Chloe’s and he’s in his underwear … where is Chloe’s daughter? Does Elliot make it a point to do the washing up like that when she’s around?

The TOWIE mums seem to have formed an exercise club, where they one again stalk about their stupid children… I see that Joan’s not there… this is an ample time to talk shit about Joan and Gemma… but that didn’t happen… boo!!! But wait Karen and Harry meet up and this shit talking has begun… I knew that it was gonna start… that looks Karen gave Joan said LOTS (in my opinion)

Gemma and Bobby have moved in together again… will they be sharing a bed again… seriously co-dpenedent. And I gotta be honest I totally 100% agree with what Danni’s saying Gemma wants Bobby all to her self; there’s that who co-dependency thing again.

I sitting here thinking as the ITV player is playing a commercial why no one thought to hook Gemma up with someone, surely that would have been a fool proof way to keep her nose out of other  business while getting a little something-something… too late now, the damage has already been done.

Yoga with Vas, Lewis and Lauren…. is something gonna happen between Lewis and Lauren. I think it might be time for her to move on from whatever she still holding on to with Mario…. it’s seriously time to move on!

OMG I love Chloe’s braid…. I don’t have enough hair for a fish tail… but I think it’s really chic

BILLIE!!!

On a guys night it’s reveled that Dan has a new superstar girlfriend and apparently she has no complaints in the bedroom….what a bunch of knuckleheads

Danni and Harry are out about strolling shooting the shit and she mentions the DVD party and Bobby and Gemma’s and she suggest that Harry stop buy to, “go claim your man”… that is the worst idea ever… I can already see Bobby getting upset and Gemma yelling…..

What the hell is this thing with Tom and Grace.. I’m sorry but I just don’t get it

Fish and Chips…. Lewis and Lauren… now that’s a paring that I can totally get behind

Harry’s taking his mom with his for support… seriously I think that’s a good idea. I feel so bad for Bobby he seems just miserable…Oh My God I’m gonna cry again…. every time Harry starts talking and I’m crying… I love how everyone is eavesdropping… but that entire scene was heart breaking…. wow

Well I need to prepare for live eviction tonight on Big Brother… honestly I still don’t know who’s going on

Until Next Time,

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Copyright © 2014 – Random Acts of Snark – Paying it Forward –  All Rights Reserved
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